KVR :: Everything Else (Music related) » I seem to have lost my passion for making music. How do I know if it's just a phase or permanent? [View Original Topic]
There are 44 posts in this topic.

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iDumi - Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:34 am

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I've been at it since around 2002. I started making music while in my first year of college. I've made good progress to the point where I'm proud of my music. I learned a lot, but I've come to a point where I feel I've lost passion.

I know everyone gets "producer's block" I sure had it a good few times and it passed away naturally and I returned to making music with newfound excitement and enthusiasm. Only that every time I returned I found my self less and less invested in this hobby. I never made money off of it, save for a few paid dj gigs but if I draw the line that didn't even cover the cost of one of my APC20, let alone speakers, other controllers, computer etc... But that is completely OK - I was never in it for the money, nor for the fame I never had.

It was a glorious example of how the journey is more important than the destination. I loved making music because I loved making music.

However that all changed gradually over the last couple of years. I began finishing less and less tracks, to the point where in the last couple of years I only made a bit over half a dozen tracks. Now, I feel everything I do is derivative, uninspired and a copy of my previous work. Furthermore I don't really enjoy the process anymore... I get bored quickly shut down my DAW and go play games, or smoke joints and watch TV, or surf the web... I used to be very passionate about this and used to read a whole-f**king-lot about production, mixing, mastering, VST news, all that jazz. I had a very vivid interest in music production which I seem to have lost gradually over the last couple of years.

Making music used to be may biggest passion, my number one hobby... now it's not even top 3 anymore and I started thinking of selling all my gear to reinvest in what currently are my biggest passions (MMO gaming and Android phones).

I'm sorry this post has turned into such a wall of text... I guess I needed to vent.

Anyway, to wrap this up... before I do something I might regret, how do I know if this is another of those phases or if I have just outgrown this?

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wrench45us - Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:22 am

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time.
There are some passions that ebb and flow. Some keep tugging at one's sleeve with varying urgency for a lifetime. Some fade away as some aspect that kept it interesting gets exhaused or used up.
Or my personal favorite -- the associations with a particular activity begin to fill with memories of bad or frustrating experiences. This is an aspect of a certain personality type ('depressive') that stores memories of the 'bad' more than memories of the 'good'. OTOH, this same personality type tends to learn more and faster because of the impact of the failures.
There's something to be said for the ability to forget and start fresh.

So we don't know .
This is why my wife's work space is filled with projects from neon tube bending, to silversmithing to wood block prints, letterpress, beading, rubber stamping etc etc. With various storage requirements.
Music and writing and a few other activities seem to have the most tugging at the sleeve persistence.
My coping mechanism is to alternate between learning a live instrument an dintegrating that in soem fashion with the electonice DAW production. There are plenty of opportunities for bad and frustrating experinece with learning a new instrument, so it has to be approached carefully, but the reward of playing something without the need for a a computer and a DAW and the latest whatever is immediate and encouraging.

best of luck

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Sendy - Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:26 am

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I went through a similar block to yours during the 2006-2008 period. I think I put out 6 finished tunes during that whole time... (And a whole lot of crappy doodles). Ask yourself, would you be sad if you could never make music again? If the answer is no, forget about it for a while. If the answer is yes, forget about it for a while.

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iDumi - Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:37 am

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No... It doesn't feel like I would... this is my answer right now.

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Sendy - Mon Feb 27, 2012 6:45 am

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Hm, it's tricky. When someone told me I should just give up on music and accept that I'd lost it, it was like a stab to the heart. We're not friends now due to several reasons . But there were certainly times where I was more interested in gaming and other subjects, and did them more, even though deep down my identity was "musician" and that's what I wanted in an ideal world.

Maybe try throwing off some of the shackles, the expectation of making what you usually make, using a computer for music, or your usual modus operandi, and combine that with a hefty dose of time?

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iDumi - Mon Feb 27, 2012 7:10 am

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Well you see... I never saw myself as a musician, but rather as a button pusher. I can't play any instruments, I can't read music and I use loops and samples almost exclusively.

I tried making stuff from scratch, with synths starting from an empty patch, programming and writing melodies with midi notes but every time it all sounds bland, uninspired, sloppy and generally terrible.

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forbiddensilence - Mon Feb 27, 2012 7:45 am

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dude i've been through the lot...I wanted to be in a band the most...when that fell apart i didn't know what to do... but as i got older and wiser i realised that there's more to life than being in a band or becoming a composer. So i just went with the flow. But the withdrawls come back to haunt you...so what. only lasts a few mins.
The worst thing about choosing a creative hobby or career is that your soul and mind is imprisoned Forever...its curse...you need it like a drug. If you can break free...then do it!!!!

Monroe once said...dreaming about being someone is more exciting than being one...so Fking true!!!! I would kill to be where i wanted to be 15yrs ago...today i cldnt give a toss...however, it doesn't mean i dont dabble in music anynmore...or even want to write a score to hear it get played one day.

Truth is writing on a computer can suck soooo much. Lets face it...its too much hard work. pen n paper and endless supply of money will do. ..forgot bout it.

Have a nice day...sit back,throw it all of your shoulders, put your feet up and take a deep breath on your fat Bong!!
Oh and you will be back...i told you...its a CURSE.

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VitaminD - Mon Feb 27, 2012 7:50 am

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Music Theory.

I'd recommend you learning the basics.. and preferrably a little more than the basics.


Forget making music, pushing buttons, smoking toxins, playing games, or anything else you have been doing for years and get deep in a book (or video) on music theory.

Your main music issue seems to be you're not able to deeply relate your ideas into music.. you can do this with some knowledge of music theory. What chords are.. how they relate.. how they can connect to create a progression.. how to create melodies from your progressions.. etc.


I'd also recommend picking up an instrument.. piano.. guitar.. etc.. as long as it involves chords.

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iDumi - Mon Feb 27, 2012 7:55 am

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I appreciate your kind words.

We'll see how this goes.

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SolarRainUK - Mon Feb 27, 2012 7:56 am

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Maybe the 'MMO gaming' is the real problem? I know how it is, I was a big MMO gamer for a number of years and it tends to become a priority for some people, and sucks up time and creativity like crazy, it can be a huge distraction. Over about 4 years of gaming I think I finished only 1 or 2 tracks. Music for me fell into the background and I just had no motivation to do it, when the alternative was to have hours of fun playing Rift which I found much more rewarding. I was also running a guild which required even more of my time and responsibility, hell the whole thing was consuming my thoughts even when I wasn't playing.

Once I ditched all that, music when straight to the top of my priorities, my enthusiasm just naturally returned. In just this last year I created more music than in my entire life. Ok, they weren't all great, but it's not the point. MMOs are amazing at fulfilling our needs for enjoyment etc I can't honestly imagine a more rewarding hobby. But what are we left with at the end, for all that time invested?

Maybe you have it all under control, but I just wanted to share my thoughts on that.

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iDumi - Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:03 am

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I can see your point, but I'm not playing MMOs anywhere near the amount of hours I used to when I was also very enthusiastic about music.

If I can rack up 5-10 hours of gaming every week I'm happy, but most weeks I don't even have time for that.

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ariston - Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:08 am

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Art and creativity thrive on experiences. Going out and seeing the world, experiencing new things, trying out new things, meeting new people, rethinking old points of view, going places you've never been to before...

Maybe your art is suffering because you spend your time surfing, smoking and playing games?

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geroyannis - Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:53 am

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Like VitaminD said, start learning an instrument. I'm surprised that you've spent all these years "pressing buttons" and didn't spend any time to actually learn a real instrument. It's infinitely more fulfilling and mind expanding than just putting loops together. That comes not only from playing the instrument, but even from the process of studying and finding out new things on it.

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MIDICH1 - Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:03 am

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Have to agree with VitaminD. I did everything by ear for years and always admired those artist who, say it with me, "couldn't read a note of music."

Then I met a session player here in Los Angeles (was dating his daughter) and he inspired me to learn to read music. So I took a summer music theory class at Pierce College (MooU). Talk about EASY. Learning to read music opened up a whole world to me. I continued with harmony, counterpoint, orchestration. I'm not much of a student, so if I could do it, you could do it. Even took some film scoring classes.

Not knowing how to read music is like wanting to an auto mechanic without knowing anything about working on cars. You tinker. You get some things right. Maybe even gets some things great. But you really need to know the nuts and bolts of what you're doing.

Besides, learning the nuts and bolts is, as I found, a lot of fun!

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1-2-Many - Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:27 am

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This one's Easy! Everything's a Phase, Everything!

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jethrobull - Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:31 am

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All very good points here guys but if the op has lost interest,passion and drive he probably wont want to learn anything new.We all know what it feels like when you just want to get down and create something new and i am sure most of us know what its like when you dont/cant, but ask yourself what else you have lost interest in.My guess (i could be wrong and most probably will be)is that your focus is on the music because it was and is your escapism,i from my own personal experience,if ever i thought that my music was going down hill i would also mentally go down hill.I love music and i am also very passionate about so its kind of like my best buddy.Try not let it get the best of you cos i am sure its probably a glitch and it will defo come back.

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gambaytheunspoken - Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:32 am

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Doesn't sound to me as if you were ever a musician. As you said , you pushed buttons and used loops and samples. This is the thing, the plethora of tools widely available and affordable make it too easy for some folks. Especially sample libraries. I know someone who claims to be a musician who couldn't tell you what a chord or a progression was, doesn't play an instrument, owns pro tools and makes music by using loops. In fact, he has way better equipment than I do because he can afford it and he wants to be famous, although he doesn't say so. What I have noticed with him, however, is that his passion for making music is slowly ebbing because while he is making, he isn't creating. I guess the status of viewing oneself or calling oneself a musician is just too hard to resist. I myself think we're hardwired to create stuff, not just throw stuff together and mix and match stuff made by other people. I also think that anything worth doing, and I mean anything, is not easy. If it's your passion, then it's fun, that doesn't make it easy. I love writing melodies, bass lines, rhythms. I also love figuring out chord progressions and creating chords. In fact, the latter is what I do when my eyes are closed in order to induce sleep. If your heart is not in it, find another home for it.

Ciao!

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pljones - Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:34 am

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Several people have mentioned a key word in opening up creativity: learning.

I think if you're not constantly learning - in some form, either formal or informal - you're going to become stale: you'll have done "everything".

Some activities don't require creativity (e.g. the ones you list as absorbing your time) but some, like making music, do. My top hobby is learning - I have to make time for everything else! I'm "lucky" that I'm now back at university studying ("lucky" to have lost my job...). Anything vaguely new distracts me from what I'm meant to be doing into learning mode.

I like playing music - drumming - and try to compose because that's also a learning process (about myself). But I'd also back up those suggesting a more formal route if you're looking to get into composing more seriously -- I got what US people would call a "high school" education (O-level in the old UK vocabulary) in music (covering notation, etc) and I know my keyboard notes, played clarinet in the school orchestra, but that was ... ugh many years ago and long before I started making music for fun. Even so, having that fundamental knowledge is a wonderful foundation.

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Bonteburg - Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:36 am

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In my experience, asking why you're practicing an art (which lurks at the heart of your post) isn't very helpful - it will soon confront you with the gaping hole that is 'what's the point of anything?'.

If you've really lost your passion for making music then it really shouldn't be a problem because you've simply lost the passion for making music! Congrats - you have now lots of time on your hands to pursue writing or painting or another artform, or simply decide being on the giving end of culture isn't for you.

If you've lost the passion for making music AND you feel you're the worse for it/miss out on something/it shouldn't be so, chances are you're just in a rut (usually caused by failure to get out of some comfort zone or other), or you lack the ability to make music you like, or it's just a plain creative lull as described in this video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZXccVxJuAk&feature=g-all-u&context=G2b9662cFAAAAAAAAAAA

The mere fact you're posting about it suggests to me the latter - so it might be worth asking yourself what you can do to make music fun again (getting more proficient, trying out fun new techniques) or if you simply need a break.

Marco

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jethrobull - Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:39 am

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+1 Life is about having fun(so i've been told)

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Hink - Mon Feb 27, 2012 9:49 am

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+1 I get ribbing when I say this fairly often but life is about cycles as is I believe pretty much everything, the key is in the timing of the cycles. In this case I would suggest you can't have inspiration without the occasional periods of a lack of inspiration

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classic - Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:19 am

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Well this answers the question to you if it is just a time that goes by or if it is a time that never ends, your music"black hole"

The answer shows, that you decide to make music you are not running on the order of somebody or on a secret command or something that forces you to make music.
The musician is you and all choices are in your hand even the decision of when you start again or how long you will have a break, and even the break you have now...........you decided it, no on else.

Your are the boss and you can decide to stop it or to start again, don't forget you are not musics victim you are its master:)

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Dean Aka Nekro - Mon Feb 27, 2012 10:44 am

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Pretty much a same story as yours Peter, Swap Drumming for guitar playing and it is nearly identical. Similar also in how i try not stagnate as it is all too easy to do. When in a 'this is not feeling good' mindset and creativity is lacking what i personally do is forget about opening anything DAW or related on a computer (even to the point of just not even using one of my computers at all), Then pickup and (if its an electric which it is most off the time, Plug-in to my pedal board/chains and amps/cabs) and start playing/practicing even the most simple of stuff. Also i will/do always put on albums that remind me exactly what I am first and foremost: A very humble music fan and musician second then audio engineer/mix engineer and all the other more technical side of things third most

Like John mentioned and again it is also another thing which resonates with me personally, Creative/Inspired Cycles...They simply can not and would not exist without the fully Uncreative/Uninspired Cycles as both have to exist in my book for there to even be good times, bad times and downright horrible times. Again what i mentioned i do above can help bring about good times but also just as easily bring on a feeling of hopelessness depending on alot of variables but frame of mind has got to be the most important of said variables for me

Good luck iDumi with whatever may the outcome be, Take care and all my best to all as always

Dean

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trimph1 - Mon Feb 27, 2012 11:54 am

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Pretty much the same thing here. Learning, to me, is key to everything.

Same with the cycle thing. There are going to be times when being inspired are going to be there..and then not there. Sometimes it is better to go with the flow, other times maybe not so much.

And, as always, know that you have friends here as well. Take care!!

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Zombie Queen - Mon Feb 27, 2012 5:18 pm

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Yes, everything is a phase... I know where you're at. I had one almost one year 'pause' in interest in making music and it seems I'm there again. I don't feel a 'writing block' or anything like it, I just don't see the point. I've been unpractical person for most of my life, writing songs just for yourself is not practical and doesn't feel good in the long run, sometimes I just feel I should focus on something serious. But who know, feelings change. So I'd advise against selling the gear, it might come handy one day.

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Teeleh - Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:10 pm

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I was bored of music not too long ago. I found that I wasn't thinking big enough with my music. Writing music at the same 'level' for ten years will bore you. Listen to new genres of music, study music theory, learn to write stories (it helps with writing music, believe it or not), learn sound design, and stop using samples and loops. Once you get the element of creativity again, the desire to create will come back as well.

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Jace-BeOS - Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:29 pm

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I'd give up on the pot. It's well known to reduce, or even kill interests & motivation. I'm suffering a similar problem due to psych drugs (taking them & then recovering from them now that I'm off them). In my case, I'm sad about the reduced motivation because I love music. Things just don't catch my interest as much, sound wise. Then again, physical discomfort has much to do with it too. Sitting in an uncomfortable workspace and using a misbehaving computer cause discomfort and frustration. No one wants to feel like that. Music making requires effort but gaming and whatever other entertaining time wasters I have don't, so I get caught up wasting time instead of being productive. So I've found I need to exercise and get in shape. Exercise gets me moving physically and emotionally. The increased oxygen to the brain is probably one of the key points there.

Any way, that's my thinking on the topic.

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SampleScience - Mon Feb 27, 2012 8:39 pm

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I've been making music since 1999. I had ups & downs, but it was always about expressing myself & let myself be wondered by "found sounds" & strange noises in the first place.
I did a couple of self-made CDr homemade releases, had a couple of release on underground "labels" too, it was always fun.
Lately I've been producing less music since I'm quite busy with my studies but I have enough spare time (at least a couple of hours) I make a track!

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iDumi - Tue Feb 28, 2012 12:53 am

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I resonate with most of what's been said here.

Firstly, learning new stuff is also one of my hobbies... a pretty big one. Right now I'm reading and absorbing lots of information, with quite a bit of enthusiasm, about android phones, flashing ROMs, kernels, modding, theming etc... Also very recently I tried my hand at video editing and montage in Vegas. That was fun... Only yesterday I was thinking about starting a blog where I would write about the latest and hottest in the gadget industry... so my creative drive is not dead, it's just wandering aimlessly, trying to find a niche.

Music is, as others have said, just a way for me to express myself, and up until recently it's been THE way. Before that, all throughout junior high and highschool I wrote poetry (some good, mostly bad) and some prose.

There was a time a couple of years ago when I started taking piano lessons... but it was a terrible experience. Maybe I had the wrong teacher but all the lessons did was to discourage me to the point where the first lesson was my last. My (large) fingers would stumble on the keys, pressing 2 keys at once by mistake and so on... Regarding theory... I asked the teacher to start from the very basics and I don't know if she did, but I think I remember something about intervals, whole notes, half notes etc. There was a flood of information that confused and discouraged me even more when I realized how much there is to learn and how difficult and unnatural it felt to me.

Then I tried learning on my own. I bought a 25key midi controller and downloaded some tutorials but that went no where. Back then (this was some 3-4 years ago) I was always inspired and churned some 6-7 tunes a month. I felt learning to play slowed me down and kept me from making music. It was slow and I didn't feel it went anywhere. Then I sold the midi keyboard.

About not being able to make music any more... ever, I feel differently today. There are things I never tried and always wanted to do, the main one being a road-trip around the country side to find and record folklore. I'm a big fan of Romanian folk music and balkan music in general and I've been wanting for years to go find and record unknown rural artists for an album, but I never got around to doing that. There's also lots of ideas about tunes, rhythms all floating in my head. So right now... I think I would be pretty sad if I was never able to make music again.

Furthermore, I feel I have achieved all the goals I had when I started at this. Like I said I never wanted fame and riches (yeah, I know... how weird) but I did want some recognition. And I kind of got it. I released a couple of EPs, only last week a track of mine appeared on a pretty famous compilation, feedback is generally tremendously positive concerning my tunes, people from blogs etc started asking me to make mixtapes for them, I get asked to dj quite a bit more than I used to and to be stranger than weird... all this doesn't encourage me. It actually feels I have nothing more to achieve, that I have done all I set up to do and to be honest that is depressing.

Regarding weed... I know they say it can kill motivation but the effect it has on me is quite the opposite. Everytime I light up a joint, after the very first puffs my brain kind of switches to "creative mode". I suddenly have lots of ideas and I feel I have to open up Live and do something. If I'm at home, I do and I tinker away, going with the flow but I almost never commit to anything. Close>save?>click NO... If I'm not at home and I smoke weed I have this weird feeling that I could be making some seriously bad-ass beats if I had my computer.

And to make an unnecessarily long post even longer... I have wanted to learn how to play the accordion for a while... Or some of those wind instruments they play in balkan music.

In the end, I guess I answered my own question (with invaluable help from you guys) and this is all just a phase. Damn it.. now I feel like a sensitive prima donna on her period.

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crazed one - Tue Feb 28, 2012 6:12 pm

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I just gave up.

I've been making music since the mid 90s and I gave it a rest once or twice and kept coming back and playing in new bands. Ever since I had a child and got into my 'dream' career, music has been put on the shelf.

It's different this time because I no longer have random tunes or melodies that come to mind anymore. I had sort of a noisy mind which was what drove me to create and experiment with sound. Now I have no creative impulses it seems so even when I pick up my guitar on that rare occasion. I have nothing driving me anymore.

I bought a newer sound card last year and haven't even used it once. Had a problem installing it and never went further. That was proof to me of how little I care about creating anymore.

I love the idea of getting back on stage and being in my local scene again but that only has to do with ego and socializing and isn't enough to drive me to be creative.

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hibidy - Tue Feb 28, 2012 10:30 pm

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fwiw, it never leaves completely. I've quit, restarted, quit, restarted, quit......you get the idea.

Also, I've seen it happen over and over to others. "I'm done"........3 months later "Ok, I'm starting again".......

I don't have any advice, just sharing an observation.

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Aloysius - Tue Feb 28, 2012 10:35 pm

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As soon as I saw the title of this topic, I was thinking ... man, give up the drink and the drugs. They give you a little boost for a little while but eventually kill your creativity. After reading your essay, I was thinking ... man, give up the drink and the drugs. They give you a little boost for a little while but eventually kill your creativity.

My 2c ... for what it's worth!

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deastman - Tue Feb 28, 2012 11:44 pm

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I have to say that your new hobby, modding and creating themes for Android phones, sounds suspiciously like your approach to making music by arranging other people's loops. It is paint-by-numbers creative expression. Seriously, if you want to get into Android phones as anything more than a consumer, you should find yourself driven to learn Java programming.

As was mentioned earlier, anything worth doing will be hard. Signing up for piano lessons and then quitting after one lesson because you weren't instantly good at it? And you found music theory complicated so you didn't try? Learning to play an instrument was getting in the way of making music?

I can't tell if you simply aren't interested in being a creative artist, or are just lazy in general. Are there any subjects which captivate you enough to drive you to a true level of mastery? Mathematics? Architecture? Football?

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. I mean absolutely no hostility whatsoever. I'm just trying to get to the heart of what motivates you. If you truly have the compulsion to create, you will keep working at it even when the going gets tough, and push through to the next level.

In my case, I've been a musician since my first piano lesson 36 years ago, and an electronic musician since 1984. I haven't been able to do much of anything since having children 8 years ago, but even during this forced artistic slump, I remain as dedicated as ever to my chosen craft. I am also a professional animator, video editor, and motion graphics artist, occasionally a software programmer, and an amateur photographer. I most recently found myself immersed in learning new web development technologies such as PHP, mySQL, and CSS for the first time in a decade. Learning and creating are what drive me, and the only reason I get up in the morning. I don't feel my day is complete unless I've learned at least one new thing. Is this stuff hard to do? Damn right it is... that's the whole point!

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iDumi - Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:26 am

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Good point deastman and you were not being harsh. I can take criticism. You are also right, I tend to be lazy, but I'm also very easily motivated when my hobbies and passions are involved. I don't shy away from difficulty, actually it's what drives me, the prospect of overcoming that difficulty. Hell, my parents always told me I was tone-deaf and that I couldn't keep a steady rhythm to save my life. And it was all true, but I overcame those shortages with technology. Every time I find myself passionate about something I feel the need to be the best I can at it, be it video games, or music.

It just seems my passions shift and change around a lot and so does my interest.

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nix808 - Wed Feb 29, 2012 12:38 am

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well-taken Dumi,
IMO, if musical stuff isn't fun--
ditch it for a little while if ya wanna.
One chap once said to me-
'Don't do anything you don't want to do'
I like that statement,
I hope it can be so.
it's important to find a spark of interest,
it equals drive
If it's not there, it takes the impetus out of it-
hither-to fun and enjoyment maybe

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jancivil - Wed Feb 29, 2012 7:36 pm

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you are a serious overachiever if you never did music on the for-real side. I would DEF say to nourish the act of 'producing music' you *should* learn music with your BODY, your hands working with your mind/imagination, and in a venue where you cannot fake it or rely on contrivance.

the whole thing of producing music from a non-musician standpoint I wouldn't have imagined would take you this far. so I'm not shocked to see such a sentiment, 'losing the drive'...

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aciddose - Wed Feb 29, 2012 7:46 pm

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a lot of people think they will be the next big thing, then when they realize they aren't they quit.

that's normal.

meanwhile there are countless millions of artists out there producing a new work every second solely because that's what they enjoy doing.

i think you're better off trying to do what you enjoy. if you're going to set standards for your achievement in certain areas that seems fine - it just isn't very practical to limit yourself by that. the majority of people out there don't possess a single talent.

if you don't enjoy making music why on earth do you bother? why would you even care?

if you're looking to actually "produce" something worth-while my advice is probably best avoided. what works for me though is to simplify things. why do you need to "produce" in the first place? the whole composition and arrangement thing for me is just a chore i have to push through in order to get to my goal - which is to make the gear i enjoy using, work. so i find that if i'm spending too much time trying to compose or fiddling with presets or something like that i'm only wasting my time and getting absolutely nothing back out of the effort i invest.

everything goes in phases - i find i produce the best results when i haven't been paying attention. what tends to happen to me is that i'll have a complete track appear finished in my mind including all parts. a full progression, leads, fill-ins, the whole arrangement with everything. even the sounds.

my problem is translating that muse which usually lasts about a couple minutes into anything real. i've never been able to.

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Hink - Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:14 pm

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+1 but I would like to add a point I often like to make because of "if I knew then what I know now"...when you realize you're not going to be the next best thing it is not the end. I found once I dropped that baggage of wanting be something I wasn't I was able to embrace and nourish who I am. However do not balk at the power of dreams, they can drive you...just do not fear the what ifs, when one door closes another opens. Also often dreams are not what they seem so we may realize them without ever knowing it.

For me music makes me whole, but it is only one part of the whole and without all the pieces there is no whole...of course that is just me and one man's perception but I do wish 40 years ago I knew this to be true...or maybe I dont

edit: it took me forever to make my post aciddose (my daughter and my wife have a way of making that happen at times) and you added to yours...just wanna say +1 again

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aciddose - Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:32 pm

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i didn't want to be too much of an ass

added the last part just to say that yes, i know what he's talking about. it's sort of an obvious thing that we all face.

i read that he's already working the weed angle, but i would suggest sleep deprivation and sensory deprivation as well.

weed and booze can work, but in my experience they mostly just seem to remove inhibitions and make you enjoy things a little more, even things that would normally be a pain. for example if i have a drink and smoke i'll end up with a 70s porn theme done mostly on my rhodes. i'm just thankful i'm not a good guitarist (my guitar hasn't had strings attached for a decade) or it would be wah mania. it would probably become a hit and get top ten airplay or something.

if you're trying to be original then that is the worst thing you can do.

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Hink - Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:36 pm

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I never drink and play nor have I ever, smoked weed and played, in another life snorted half of Columbia and played but even then I refused to play while drinking...and get this, then we practiced at a place with a full bar and stage not to mention a bar tab for us. All that was on my tab then was pepsi

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aciddose - Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:46 pm

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well it takes a certain sort.. last time i was at a club where my cousin was preforming he handed me a roll of drink tickets. i could literally have drank the whole bar dry at least until i was cut off. i had a single bottle

just not really my kind of atmosphere. with a few friends at a pub is one thing but when you get to see how other people are affected on the dance floor (or what's left of it between the various liquids, broken bottles and half-conscious spread around) it really turns you off to the whole idea.

i hear the same sort of story from most of the people who regularly preform. seems one drink or so doesn't hurt too much; odds are you're already unwillingly sleep deprived and it would just ruin you though.

that's another source of inspiration though - an expression of agony

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scavenger8 - Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:55 pm

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Sometimes circumstances can cause it so you just dont have the energy.
Think about how you can change youre circumstances or if you can for see how long it will take to ride them out.

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iDumi - Thu Mar 01, 2012 12:38 am

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Thanks for your input... keep it coming.

Now I want to touch on some points that have been made. It was mentioned a few times that I might be one of those that seek to be the next best thing and when they realize they're not they quit. I'm not like that. All I ever wanted from this was a to feel proud of my music, to have people enjoy it and give positive feedback. Having a few tracks released was a very nice bonus but it was never a goal of mine. I always made music for teh sake of making music. Most of the times I enjoyed the process more than the end result. And I achieved that goal, even surpassing it, mine and people's expectations of it.

I can't read or play music, yet I have found ways to make sure all instruments in my music are in tune with each other. My parents and brother who is a drummer always made fun of me how I am tone-deaf and want to write music. Now, even when I dj I make sure all track are in key. It does seem I am somewhat of an overachiever.

Things have now, quite paradoxically, taken a very unexpected turn. Right now, when I feel dry and artistically lost and depressed, friends, fellow producers and djs I look up to, people that have been at it longer than I have and/or who are more successful than I am are starting to give me amazing feedback, telling me how much they like my work, how much I've progressed over the years and how I will eventually become big. Labels that re really big in the scene are releasing my music and others are asking for more music from me so that they can put out EPs and stuff...

A few years ago this would have given me a 2 week long boner and a grin of disproportionate size. However, now I feel people are having expectations I might not be able/care to achieve. People in the industry are asking me for music to release, and exclusive mixtapes for their blogs and what not and I can't seem to be bothered.

There is one large burden I have always carried, although I didn't always realize it. I have this strong desire to be original, to do something different, that's not been done a lot if, at all. I try and try and try to make everything in my music (from the beats to use of effects to song structure etc) be at least slightly different and unusual. This has now become a chore and a burden.

On the other hand, the thought of making the same kind of music everyone does, even if slightly better, makes me feel cheap and whore-ish.

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kelvyn - Thu Mar 01, 2012 1:19 am

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This is a very interesting (important) thread that applies to quite a lot of us here I would imagine. That reaching out just outside of our reach for something innovative but intangible can be very frustrating and demoralizing. But as Hink implied the way really is the goal and if your way is to create something new and interesting then it might be good for you to take that information to heart and just let things be. Kind of accept the frustration and see it as part of the process. There are all kinds of solutions to your creative dilemma and concentrating on solutions is the first solution (starting this thread for example). Smoking weed and drinking all have their place in making music (what would the Beatles have been without dope) but it's important to see these moments as phases that you can control and when you start to lose control stop for a while (or permanently) and take stock. I am exactly like you in many respects. I was smoking a lot of dope (legally... I'm in Amsterdam) and drinking in phases (still do... no excess) and the search for THE musical statement has created a lot of frustration and happiness but it's all good. Every time it gets too much I recalibrate
and look for a solution and try not to concentrate on the problem (sorry I'm repeating myself) for example... I find working with other musicians/singers/producers etc very invigorating and very often that reignites my love for music or conversely makes me appreciate working on my own. deastman made some very wise points although I'm not so into the things have to be hard to enjoy them philosophy... To each his own and if you like things (like me) to come fast and easy (instant gratification) then thats what you like... I guess what I'm trying to say is... Dance with the devil but don't let him take you for a ride. Have fun and good luck...

Lots of really great comments and guidelines here from a bunch of very cool KVR dudes... Thanks. I'm getting a lot from this thread:)

... Oh! And I stopped smoking dope a few years ago... but when I listen to the music I was making then I think YEAH!!

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