rockstarfx - somos los muertos [take 2]

[rockstarfx]

somos los muertos

this apartment's a graveyard tonight
something inside wilts and dies tonight
the seduction routine is a mask
for our own Día de los Muertos

we honor each other tonight
our souls part from our bodies tonight
her hymen slides open like a sarcophagus
my mind snaps like a branch under clerical shoes

she won't notice til morning
it's all in the shadows for now
buried under fading sheets, fading stars
she leaves a burgundy stain on my boxers

we wake and talk like nothing happened
because nothing really happened
i bury my doubts away
i bury my thoughts away

-

[edit] i changed the lyrics/vox a lot.

[robenestobenz]

Loss of innocence has little do with loss of virginity outside of some male fantasy land, for one - and the description of a deflowered girl as a ruined negative is suspect.

Finally, it sounds like East Lansing is full of Catholic girls with regenerating hymens.

As for the song, I'll direct my 56k's slow attention in a while.

[rockstarfx]

i don't really understand what you're saying. virginity has a lot to do with innocence. it sounds like your criticism is a backlash to my pretentiousness, which is understandable. i just felt bad about seducing a girl with strong morals. it made me think about how so many people go to college and eschew their morality in the name of hedonism. so i wrote a song about it. with the ruined negative i was just trying to show the negative side of this. you know, regret..

but yeah. melodrama's hard for me to pull off without sounding cheesy. it's halfway self-parody anyway.

[edit] well i guess i see what you're trying to say now, maybe? man's fascination with a virgin's purity and all. modern feminism has made that idea obselete i guess. but a city full of catholic girls with regenerating hymens would probably make for a far more interesting song than the one i've got here.

[Sicklecell666]

I like pizza.

[Stupid American Pig]

I for one really like this- the music is excellent, it sounds like it was recorded on an old 2 track reel-reel. Whatever you put to fill in under the guitar sounds good too on my tiny headphones. The vocals are a touch too loud IMO, some of it is slightly off key but only slightly(at the ruined negative line) and I would De-ess it a touch. Dont get the wrong idea though the singing is cool. As for the lyrics, I see what yer getting at, and I am in no position to judge them as wrong or right, but I think they fit the mood of the song.

[snooky]

really odd lyrics..I agree that virginity, or the "loosing" of it has nothing todo with purity..it's a natural and primitive part of life...Don't try to deglorify it with some dated catholic points of wiew..sex is natural..religion has nothing to do with sex...religion is for the mind, sex is for the body.

[rockstarfx]

i know. i see nothing wrong with losing virginity. this is more personal. i just felt bad about screwing her. i'm not trying to make any kind of statement, really.

as for the innocence, come on, guys:

vir·gin·i·ty Audio pronunciation of "virginity" ( P ) Pronunciation Key (vr-jn-t)
n. pl. vir·gin·i·ties

1. The quality or condition of being a virgin.
2. The state of being pure, unsullied, or untouched.

here's an idea. the next verse can be the other side of the argument. a girl's voice talking about how sex is a natural part of life and all. that might be cool, and it'd put out this song's aura of accidental self-righteousness.

ANYWAY i post too many half-drunk 4am songs.

[Stupid American Pig]

naw dont be embarassed, I think its a good song. There is not really anything wrong with examining yer morals in a song anyway.

[snooky]

hm...so it was about you then..any pics to go with that tune..preferably of the girl!

[[ xerocreep ]]

The production sounds good for the whole singer/songwriter/modern bard thing. I like the guitar part. The lyrics seem really awkward and forced though.

People go to Florida to die of old age - people go to MSU to die of venereal diseases...




did you get my pm?

[rockstarfx]

sickle - i like pizza too

sap - hey i'm glad you liked it. whoops yeah it was a rough headphone mix so i was bound to make the vocals too loud. thanks for the tips, i'll try them out. the quiet thing under the guitar is a low-pass-filtered guitar.

snooky - haha no. perv.

xero - yeah the lyrics are pretty sketch. if anything i can say it's a satire on contemporary poetry, heh. but yeah i'm going to rework this thing. i got your pm, i'll call you soon.

[Emerald Tablet]

lovely lyrics

and these slides are just superb
and the mix of it all combined with the background noise and the most splendid vocal recording heard in a while moves me

thanks

inspiring tune
a keeper

[rockstarfx]

hey thanks, glad you liked it.

[1-2-Many]

really odd lyrics..I agree that virginity, or the "loosing" of it has nothing todo with purity..it's a natural and primitive part of life...Don't try to deglorify it with some dated catholic points of wiew..sex is natural..religion has nothing to do with sex...religion is for the mind, sex is for the body.

If you truly believe this.... then you've surely had no exposure to the rich religious history on our planet. (We call it Earth, BTW. Welcome! )

[rockstarfx]

hey i changed the song if anyone's interested. it's more of a meditation on loss than some kind of moral statement; hopefully this is clearer now that i've taken out the generalizations etc.