found a marvelous lyric by ouroboros in the lyric thread. The melody just jumped out at me as I read it, so I knew I had to try and do it justice.
edit:
which I didn't do..so I pulled it to do some work.
bluedad pop song with lyric by ouroboros
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experimental.crow experimental.crow https://www.kvraudio.com/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=6258
- KVRAF
- 6895 posts since 9 Mar, 2003 from the bridge of sighs
grabbing now ...
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- KVRAF
- 2017 posts since 21 Mar, 2002 from Hutchinson, Kansas
That is a great melody! The vocals are heart-rending. Perfectly spare arrangement. And yeah, those are fantastic lyrics!
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experimental.crow experimental.crow https://www.kvraudio.com/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=6258
- KVRAF
- 6895 posts since 9 Mar, 2003 from the bridge of sighs
wonderful track ...
sinks the hook immediately ...
mix-wise , i find the bass a tad too upfront ...
sinks the hook immediately ...
mix-wise , i find the bass a tad too upfront ...
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- something special
- Topic Starter
- 8571 posts since 16 Mar, 2002 from Birmingham, Alabama
ok, that's good to know..I sort of suspected as much..on the list to adjust, thanks norm!normal wrote:wonderful track ...
sinks the hook immediately ...
mix-wise , i find the bass a tad too upfront ...
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- KVRAF
- 4960 posts since 21 Oct, 2003 from UK
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- Banned
- 12368 posts since 30 Apr, 2002 from i might peeramid
that was awful 
(i said )
(i said
)you come and go, you come and go. amitabha neither a follower nor a leader be tagore "where roads are made i lose my way" where there is certainty, consideration is absent.
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- KVRAF
- 8997 posts since 1 Aug, 2003
Nice electro pop song.
I do have some reservations regarding the vocals though. I like the sound of your voice here and there, I think a little more effort would make it even better. For me, focusing on the technical side of singing (and not just the emotional part of it) seems to help in that dept. But my real gripe is the fact you get a little out of key here and there IMHO. Esp. the "I walked outside, saw the sign, closedmy eyes" bit. Maybe an extra take, or using Autotune would help. There's a free Autotune kinda VST released recently, can' remember the name though. I'm not saying you shouldn't sing though, it's just that the off tune bit doesn't do the song right.
I do have some reservations regarding the vocals though. I like the sound of your voice here and there, I think a little more effort would make it even better. For me, focusing on the technical side of singing (and not just the emotional part of it) seems to help in that dept. But my real gripe is the fact you get a little out of key here and there IMHO. Esp. the "I walked outside, saw the sign, closedmy eyes" bit. Maybe an extra take, or using Autotune would help. There's a free Autotune kinda VST released recently, can' remember the name though. I'm not saying you shouldn't sing though, it's just that the off tune bit doesn't do the song right.
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- KVRAF
- 8997 posts since 1 Aug, 2003
Also, monitor your vocal takes with enough compression.I often do a take, listen, decide it's not off tune much, add compression and go "WTF this is so off tune" 
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- something special
- Topic Starter
- 8571 posts since 16 Mar, 2002 from Birmingham, Alabama
mick, thanks pal!
xoxos many thanks! (I think! )
@cptgone, thanks for the listen and comments. Believe me, I did many vocal takes for this and this is the best of the lot. I know there is a narrow area where my voice is most comfortable; however I'm a songwriter first of all and don't always write stuff in my range. You have valid points though, and I appreciate you writing them; I didn't know about the free autotune vst, I'll see if I can find it.
xoxos many thanks! (I think!
)@cptgone, thanks for the listen and comments. Believe me, I did many vocal takes for this and this is the best of the lot. I know there is a narrow area where my voice is most comfortable; however I'm a songwriter first of all and don't always write stuff in my range. You have valid points though, and I appreciate you writing them; I didn't know about the free autotune vst, I'll see if I can find it.
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- Banned
- 12368 posts since 30 Apr, 2002 from i might peeramid
bluedad wrote: xoxos many thanks! (I think!
yes! use a rigid autotune setting and it'll play for a month ooh no, vocode the chorus!! perfect! 
glad to hear you again
you come and go, you come and go. amitabha neither a follower nor a leader be tagore "where roads are made i lose my way" where there is certainty, consideration is absent.
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- KVRAF
- 8997 posts since 1 Aug, 2003
http://www.kvraudio.com/forum/viewtopic ... 51&start=0bluedad wrote:I didn't know about the free autotune vst, I'll see if I can find it.
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- KVRAF
- 3265 posts since 22 Sep, 2003 from under the sun
i share cptgone's opinion about the vocal, garry.
as the song is a lttle bit static, you could try to use a slightly higher bpm.
and i would give more presence to the guitars, against the bass.
that said, it's still a very nice song.
as the song is a lttle bit static, you could try to use a slightly higher bpm.
and i would give more presence to the guitars, against the bass.
that said, it's still a very nice song.
