Metal song.. named System failure...I need Help!

[Brohymn]

Hi.

This is my new song named System Failure.

I am on vacations, so took my guitar, a old laptop and start recording only with the beach on my sight and start composing

I have no pre amp here only the BFD XFL DVDS, Cubase SX3, laptop and guitar.

Is missing some musical composition technics that i dont apply yet and i dont do any mixing.

I will aprecciate some tips about the mix, since i will not change anything on parts already recorded.... only when i return to my home and start recording lyrics

http://brohymn.com.sapo.pt/Systemfailure.mp3

PS: Sorry that short fade on the end

Sorry my bad english.

[runagate]

Hi, Brohymn.

I just woke up and am downloading your song.

You having fun recording?

[Brohymn]

Yes.. that's for sure

[munchkin]

The production sounds really good. Drums are fresh and there's lot's of variation. The guitar tone and playing are excellent and fit right into the track. The composition isn't that distinct melody wise so my suggestion is to speed up the song, add some vocals and maybe introduce a verse/chorus structure.

It's amazing what can be done with just a laptop and guitar these days.

[Brohymn]

Thanks!
Yeah i know... but Structure is not defined yet because i need the vocals first MAybe a A - B - A - C - B struture. I have study music composition classical and rock (Music schools) but im on vacations and i just want to relax

[runagate]

Who's your singer? You?

[Brohymn]

no way... lol i have the feeling but not the voice MY band singer will do the job otherwise we kill him.

Here is another version... http://brohymn.com.sapo.pt/SystemfailureA.mp3

Maybe a mix of both

[runagate]

So what ever happened with this song, Brohymn?
Keep us updated occasionally