beginner 'song': don't be too harsh with critique ;-)

[heroshima]

Hi mates;

I'm a beginner with producing my own music. Regardless, I was hoping for some feedback on what your thoughts are. Am using cubase sx, virus ti, Doepfer, raktor, reason.

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http://www.heroshima.info/media/music/P ... 02.3rd.mp3
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Please don't be too harsh with you critique. I'm fully aware that the overall sound is quite muddy (also bit too much going on), also some of the highs (especially hats/noise gen.) are very very high. Well, it's not meant as the final master. Really just did a brute force compression at the master output (using

Let's just consider this a learning project.

Cheers guys and gals


h.eroshima.ygro
www.heroshima.info

[Jazzyspoon]

I agree with what Shief told you. You need to learn to create tension and release compositionally.
Mixwise, it's not too bad. There is some EQ work to do, but you are aware of that. I would concentrate on the songwriting aspect.

On a side note, I really like your photography. Truly cool pics.

[heroshima]

Thanks for the feedback Jazzyspoon ... Shief. I totally appreciate it.

I agree on your thoughts.

Your comment [b]"It loops too much. You should end each 4 bars with something that ends it and brings it back instead of just one big loop" [/b] is very helpful, i will keep this in mind.

Yes at some point my attention waned on the composition of things. There numerous points where I expect something to happen, and then it doesn't happen (i noticed then serveral times).

Cheers for your comments..

Brooklyh, NY