New track: Ju Ju Bees (techno/funk/synthpop)

[jedilaw]

Hey guys,

I have another new song, "Ju Ju Bees" posted on my Last FM artist site.

This one's a bit of a hybrid between techno, funk, and synthpop. The beat was done in Reason, with everything else done in Ableton Live 7 using Albino 3 and Arturia's Minimoog.

I'd love a little input on this one, even if that means a ton of people telling me how and why it sucks. It's hard to get an idea if the tune is working or not without a bit of feedback.

Thanks in advance,

JL

[thecontrolcentre]

It's hard to get an idea if the tune is working or not without a bit of feedback.

There is no tune as such ... that's the problem. It sounds like someone jamming aimlessly with themselves to me. Sorry, I don't usually comment on stuff I don't like, but you did ask ...

[Genetic_Junk]

I'd call this a tune. I like the lead sound used for the melody. What synth is that? As a track on its own, some changes in "direction" would add interest for listener (the lack of changes is probably one of the reasons the poster above said it wasn't a tune).

[thecontrolcentre]

I didn't say it wasn't a tune ... i said there is no tune. It has no melody, no hook ...

[Genetic_Junk]

The original poster seemed to be using the term "tune" to refer to the work as whole and not to a specific part of the work.

But even if "tune" is equated with melody rather the work as whole, this work still has a tune. It has a melody. To say it does not would be using the word "melody" in a strange way. I would agree there really isn't a hook and if that alone is what you mean by "tune", then okay it doesn't have a tune.

[jedilaw]

It's hard to get an idea if the tune is working or not without a bit of feedback.

There is no tune as such ... that's the problem. It sounds like someone jamming aimlessly with themselves to me. Sorry, I don't usually comment on stuff I don't like, but you did ask ...

Well, it definitely is someone jamming with themselves. Whether it's aimless is, of course, a matter of taste for the listener.

I'd call this a tune. I like the lead sound used for the melody. What synth is that? As a track on its own, some changes in "direction" would add interest for listener (the lack of changes is probably one of the reasons the poster above said it wasn't a tune).

The lead synth is Ableton's "Electric," using a preset called "Contrasted Wah."

As for changes, I actually do have a verse-chorus-verse-chorus structure, but I think with the current mix it's too difficult to hear the change, other than the lead part dropping an octave.

Thanks for the input, even the negative input. As I've said before, if my song sucks I'm cool with that, I'd just like to know how and why it sucks.

[davidbuhau]

saying it sucks would be a bit extreme.

but i can say i didn't really dig it... i thought i was gonna like it too cuz i like that elektropop type stuff...

nothing particularly sticks out for it's "suckiness", but when i was buying records, i wouldn't have bought this one.

david

[PointOfDeparture]

My initial thoughts are that it is too plodding. It needs a little more rhythmic variation. Maybe some off-kilter hi-hat sounds, skittering to-and-fro in stereo. Maybe a few phrases where there are faster runs of notes. Maybe some one-shot type of sound effects coming in here and there. Definitely needs some better production work -- just some things pushed one direction or another -- for instance a more up-front sound for the lead synth with a little more bite to it. The pad in the background needs to be high pass filtered, maybe a little lfo moving it side-to-side, or perhaps two similar pad sounds panned left and right doing slightly different things in regards to volume, phase feedback, filter cutoff, panning, etc...

[leahzero]

This isn't bad...it has potential, but as it is comes off rather awkward.

First, the lead electric piano is really mushy and sounds rather out of place. Also, the lead jamming in general sounds robotic and stiff, like someone playing a keyboard with just two fingers. In fact, all of the instruments have that jarring quantized sound, but it's especially noticeable on the bass and lead. Go in and humanize those notes a bit and inject some real funk into this.

Drums also need work. Add at least a couple variations on the pattern, some hi-hats, some reverb or other effects.

I like the overall mood and theme here, it just sounds way too stiff and clean, not funky or electro at all. Keep working on it!

[Acrobat]

TheControlCenter is right, there's no tune, in the sense
the author seems to make an endless solo
without focusing on a specific refrain.
Sometimes you can do that, solo and solo and solo, but you have typically
a much much more solid drums and bass groove to jam along underneath.

....the slow tempo contributes to give an "hesitation" feeling, unsafety...
the 80s reivie more as a sort of movie soundtrack by Carpenter
rather than a Bronski Beat song

[Former Pharaoh]

Take out that synth lead, put some vocals and you can have something with this (i think).

[jedilaw]

Well, funny you should mention someone playing with two fingers, as I am doing close to exactly that...this is all being played on my laptop keyboard, as I've yet to acquire a MIDI controller. The beat itself is quantized in that it was created in ReDrum's step sequencer, but I didn't quantize anything else.

I definitely agree that the beat itself needs some variation, as it is a single two-bar loop. Need to give it some variety and zing.

Thanks again for the honest crits. Don't worry about hurting my feelings or anything, I'm an attorney. We're not the cute and cuddly bunch, as an industry . . .

[Michael Benjamin]

forget the hook

the hook is just there to kill the fish
do you want to kill the fish?

[dark_virus]

Nice and sinister intro. Very synthpop indeed!

I like the overall atmosphere. The synth is cool.

Liked it!

[A.M. Gold]

I'll be frank and say I agree that for some reason it isn't really happening as a "song" but it's hard to pin down why. There is certainly a bass groove, and there is a chord progression being described polyphonically, but for some reason it isn't really knitting together and so there is a lack of impact in the changes.

I do hear a sense of verse and chorus but I think the contrast is too subtle to add much punch to the piece. I think the melody for some reason does seem a little "wandery" and could stand to be tighter. I also think the lead synth sound is too soft and recedes back in the mix so that kind of increases the sense that it is more like a lead jam and less like a prominent melody. It's possible if the same notes were put into a different arrangement and mix, the melodic quality would really start to emerge more.

Well, sorry I didn't have more positive to say but I tried to put it all into the category of constructive criticism so I hope it helps in some way.

Keep up the good effort, though!

Dave