[reflections on loss] the vessel

[knockman]

this is a song i've been working on. i'm trying to take my voice to new territory, though it's proving tricky. it's called:

the vessel

it's a rather maudelin affair but with recent sad passings , i'd like it to be a reflective experience. and, though they are manipulated nonsense, i'm quite pleased with the lyrics:

from the heart comes a killer ray
4 jewels from shanghai, breaking up the day
you'll induce transfiguration, i'll be the vessel

from the sorrow what murmurs come
lamenting the absent one
and now the rainbow's gone
there's showers, only showers

once i held a rock in my hand
an' held to life as only blood can
in folds of cloth there gathered
all my dreams of leisure

and no one would know its name
and no one could know my game
and now that angel's lame
so little of forever

i wondering really what i should do with it but need external ears, if they may be lent, so any comments suggestions gratefully received.

regards

[experimental.crow]

i've had several listens ...
my first thought was , you got a little brian ferry in you ...

the composition is intriguing ...
the mood is effective ...

technical suggestions ...
roll back the wet/dry mix on the reverb ... more dry more ...
cut some of the mid-range freqs ...
the vocals get a bit buried ...

i enjoyed this ...

[bluedad]

very unique and beautiful arrangement.
nice voice, too!
try normals' suggestions
very nice one, though. wish I could do something
like this.

[shamann]

Really like this, good tune all round.

Only thing I don't like is the tinkly piano flourishes. Seem to me unnecessary embellishment, like cherubim in Restoration-period art.

Agree with normal's suggestions, work on highlighting the vocals in the mix. They deserve to stand out here.

Cheers,
Steve

[knockman]

thanks for the advice normal, my biggest weakness is EQ, and i can only listen for so long before i doubt my own judgement. i am quite a bryan ferry fan actually, though with my face i'd best steer clear of the romantic stuff! i shall follow your ideas, thanks again.

bluedad. thanks for your comments, i'm pleased you find it unique, as normal finds it intrigueing, i have a desire to make music that is strange yet accessible.

Only thing I don't like is the tinkly piano flourishes. Seem to me unnecessary embellishment, like cherubim in Restoration-period art.

shamann, that's a top comment. i can often relate to simile far better than anything else. perhaps you'll allow me just the one! thanks for listening and the kind words

[experimental.crow]

thanks for the advice normal, my biggest weakness is EQ, and i can only listen for so long before i doubt my own judgement. i am quite a bryan ferry fan actually, though with my face i'd best steer clear of the romantic stuff! i shall follow your ideas, thanks again.

bluedad. thanks for your comments, i'm pleased you find it unique, as normal finds it intrigueing, i have a desire to make music that is strange yet accessible.

Only thing I don't like is the tinkly piano flourishes. Seem to me unnecessary embellishment, like cherubim in Restoration-period art.

shamann, that's a top comment. i can often relate to simile far better than anything else. perhaps you'll allow me just the one! thanks for listening and the kind words

always best not to work at this for too long ...
ear fatigue ...
work a bit ... take a break ... come back to it ...

[Psy-T]

another brilliant knockman piece. the brass that comes a little after the lyrics end quite surprised me, i didn't expect it to become uplifting like that. love your stuff matt

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