Recycling my contest entry again. I should probably redo the bass; I probably won't.

Tar Pits of the Moon
2:56 / 4MB or so

mp3 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ogg

I saw cripples eating asphalt
I saw half a mile of tumors
I saw monkeys sailing sinking ships
that looked like gravy schooners
I saw billionaires and bindlestiffs
on the backs of skinned baboons
And ants stripmining carpet
in the tar pits of the moon

I saw the ghost of Carrie Nation
hold aloft an angry axe
But the ghost of Lizzie Borden came
and gave her forty whacks
The drunkards all let out a cheer
Someone said "I'm sorry, son"
And dead Hank Williams pissed himself
God bless us, everyone

I saw children buying shovels
and quicklime by the sack
They told me just to nevermind
what was going on out back
I saw bullyragging brigadiers
with eyes like weeping wounds
making love to long-dead harlots
in the tar pits of the moon



Used: MU.LAB, Audacity, Session Drummer 2, sfz (w/Pettinhouse Brush country rock drums), ReverberateLE, Easy Q, Classic EQ, IIEQ, Classic Compressor, CompressiveCM, FreeAmp3, GHi, Spitfish. And, though I forgot them when I posted for the contest: POD (for the bass only), acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass, SM57, SPB1.

nice acoustic ballad... me likes ... sounds good

Wow! Lovely imagery and a suitably dark arrangement. I wanted the vocal to be a little more "on" with respect to the melody... not much but there were a few drifts that went a little far for me. I could really hear a chorus and was hoping you'd open that window, but that's just my own bias. Fantastic work, really enjoyed it.

great lyrics I think.

elements of john prine , as produced by the residents ...
catering by wm. burroughs ...

Thanks, everyone.

Very nice. I'd prefer the vocals recorded closer to the mic.

A wonderful, whimsical tour through an obviously talented, creative (maybe a wee bit warped ) mind!

Enjoyability Scale: 9.5 out of 10.



Cheers,
Alex

Well, it came out of nowhere, on a foggy day....
Very nice song, I enjoyed the vibe so much

Cheers

Thanks, gentlemen. I appreciate it.

I think it's really a nice song, with a great atmosphere. There's a couple of moments when the voice sounds a bit weird, like a bit out of tune. I think this is a very complex thing, sometimes an out of tune note can give a unique character to the voice, sometimes it sounds like an error. Couldn't say what makes the difference. Anyway, to me it sounded a bit out of tune in this song.
I also think that the voice would benefit a lot from being recorded closer to the mic, it sounds a bit cold this way. I don't have any problem with the bass, sounds good as it is! In the end the track lives from the voice and the guitar.

Thanks, hanzo. Definitely out of tune. I'm just not much of a singer and I settle pretty readily.

I'll have to look into singing closer to the mic. My habit has been to have my mouth almost on the mic, singing straight into it, but this time I tried backing off a bit and singing off axis (I think that's the phrase I want) to help minimize my esses and pees (and in this one bees, I suppose). Maybe I went too far.

I think the problem with "b" "p" and "s" is common. The solution for the "b" and "p" is a pop filter or sing those sounds less loudly. For "s" sounds either have to use a special compressor, edit by hand or sing those sounds quietly.

FWIW I didn't hear a problem with tuning.

The poetry is incredible. It is somewhere between satire, social commentary and hallucinations. And some how it all seems normal to me.

The tune and recording sound great to me. The phaser/leslie on the electric guitar is very tastefully done.

In the spirit of continuous improvement, I wish I could point out something I would change or improve or ... but I love it as it is.

Thank you for this moment of whimsy, melancholy and poignancy.

Reminds me a lot of John Prine.
You take great photo's, and also paint pictures with words..and that guitar solo is beautifully sublime.
Sure the vocal drifts a bit wide occassionally (and I only mention that because I've been crucified for posting stuff where I had gone outside the lines, too)..but, that seems to be your style and part of the charm.
btw, I could hear a chorus too.
Really dig it.