Another one with lots of energy concealing a message about society (I hope that doesn't sound pretentious). This one's simultaneously full of attitude and poppy.
http://soundcloud.com/nine-of-kings/do-you-do-you
Electric Alternative - Do You Do You?
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- KVRAF
- Topic Starter
- 1793 posts since 9 Apr, 2011
"musician."
http://soundcloud.com/nine-of-kings
http://soundcloud.com/nine-of-kings
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- KVRAF
- 6322 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York
I think this is a very good song with some nice variations, interesting arrangement details, and good lyrics.
Unfortunately, I'd rate this as a miss instead of a hit because the vocal performance doesn't work IMO. In the verse, you are hitting a (falsetto?) high note several times which I find distracting. It's not terrible but it's what I focus on because it stands out.
The chorus should be very strong. It's got energy and attitude but you sound like a drunk guy at a bar doing karaoke. You can't just yell off key even if it's supposed to be punky and aggressive.
I'd like to hear you do a different vocal take on this. I do think the song is solid and has lots of potential.
Unfortunately, I'd rate this as a miss instead of a hit because the vocal performance doesn't work IMO. In the verse, you are hitting a (falsetto?) high note several times which I find distracting. It's not terrible but it's what I focus on because it stands out.
The chorus should be very strong. It's got energy and attitude but you sound like a drunk guy at a bar doing karaoke. You can't just yell off key even if it's supposed to be punky and aggressive.
I'd like to hear you do a different vocal take on this. I do think the song is solid and has lots of potential.
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- KVRAF
- Topic Starter
- 1793 posts since 9 Apr, 2011
Thank you for your honesty. The vocal on the verses is clearly a weak point. The chorus, though, I think is acceptable. The melody is very simple (4th, 5th, and 7th - literally 3 notes), and secondary to the other elements. The naturalness of expression afforded by a looser definition of vocal pitch fits the song, I think.
"musician."
http://soundcloud.com/nine-of-kings
http://soundcloud.com/nine-of-kings
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- KVRAF
- 6322 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York
Listening again my opinion hasn't changed. I like the song but don't like the vocal performance. I think it doesn't help that the chorus vocals are so loud and not really sitting in the mix. I'm curious if anyone else has an opinion on the vocals.
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- KVRian
- 541 posts since 15 Jun, 2011 from Betwixt or between
I think the vocals could work if the entire production were "dirtied up" a bit, as it reminds me of some of the local alternative band 45s played on college radio in Boston during the early-mid 80's.. some of those bands lost their audience, once they got into a "big studio" and couldn't resist playing with all the expensive fancy toys available to them- the sound became "too clear" and the rawness and grit of low-budget recording which balanced their pop aspects were lost. I think I understand that balance of pop and attitude you're going for, and I just think it needs a bit more "ugly" in the production to play against the pop ingredients. Hope this makes sense...
Music can no longer soothe the worried thoughts of monarchs; it can only tell you when it's time to buy margarine or copulate. -xoxos
Discontinue use if rash or irritation develops.
Discontinue use if rash or irritation develops.
