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Hello,
New piece. Song in french langage. About Alzheimer's disease. Click here > Viens, le train 
New CD ------------------------------------------ Lyrics La nuit tombée, je n'ai pas les rêves qu'il faut, La nuit tombée, je n'ai pas le calme que j'attends, Je pars tout seul, sur la route, lune froide, je vois la gare. Je m'assois sur un banc, je n'ai pas les rêves qu'il faut, qu'il faut... Viens, le train, Viens, le train ! La nuit tombée, moi je vois mes fils enfants, courir Ils me sourient, me sourient, enfin, je crois... Je prends leur main, et l'on marche vers les rails, Voir les trains qui arrivent. La nuit tombée, je n'ai pas le calme que j'attends. Où sont mes gosses ? Il est l'heure de goûter, je crois, J'entends ma mère qui m'appelle, là-bas... Last edited by Daniel Pompougnac on Wed Jan 23, 2013 11:16 am; edited 6 times in total |
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| ^ | Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Member: #51754 Location: In a forest , France | ||
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babelfish version:
The fallen night, I did not dream that it is necessary, The fallen night, I do not have the calm until I wait, I'm all alone leave, on the road, the cold moon, I see the station. I sit on a bench, I did not dream that it is necessary, that it is necessary… Come, the train, Come, the train! The fallen night, me I see my sons children, to run They smile me, smile me, finally, I believe… I take their hand, and one walks towards the rails, See the trains which arrive. -------------- great piece. maybe during the drum part, the vocals could have a low shelf? |
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| ^ | Joined: 21 Jul 2009 Member: #211816 | ||
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Beautiful piece about an incredibly difficult subject. I can relate since I recently lost a family member to Alzheimer's. |
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| ^ | Joined: 18 Jul 2008 Member: #185137 Location: New York | ||
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Yes, I like this a lot. My mother has Alzheimers, so I understand this well.
I think the Babelfish translation is a little off, so I tried to translate it a little better (I hope!): Night fell, I don't have the dreams that I need, Night fell, I don't have the quiet that I wait for, I leave all alone on the road, cold moon, I see the station. I sit on the bench, I don't have the dreams that I need, that I need... Come train, Come train! Night fell, I see my sons, running They smile at me, smile at me, finally, I believe... I take their hands, and one of them walks to the rails, To see the trains arriving. Night fell, I don't have the quiet that I wait for. Where are my kids? It is tea time, I think, I wait for my mother who calls me, over there... |
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| ^ | Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Member: #76094 Location: In transit | ||
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Thank you very much about comments and translations.
It was not easy to create this song. Yes, Robojam, your translation is very fine 
Have you learned french langage ? Good job. I've only refined one or two words. Night fell, I don't have the dreams that I need, Night fell, I don't have the quiet that I wait for, I leave alone on the road, cold moon, I see the station. I sit on a bench, I don't have the dreams that I need, that I need... Come train, Come train! Night fell, I see my sons, running They smile at me, smile at me, I believe... I take their hands, and we go to the rails, To see the trains arriving. Night fell, I don't have the quiet that I wait for. Where are my kids? It's the snack time, I think, I hear my mother who calls me, over there... |
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| ^ | Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Member: #51754 Location: In a forest , France | ||
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I learned French at school and when we lived near to the Canadian border I'd speak it occasionally when we traveled to the cities in Quebec.
It's more that I could see mistakes in the translation, but there are probably a few things I don't understand well. "et l'on marche vers les rails" - if it is "and we go to the rails", I would have thought to see it as "et nous allons aux rails" - I wasn't quite sure about the change from the first half of that sentence. Should it have been "mains" instead of "main"? And I translated "goûter" as "tea time" as that's what I had it translated to in England where I grew up. |
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| ^ | Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Member: #76094 Location: In transit | ||
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First of able, it's important to say that your french langae is better than my english langage.
Quote: et l'on marche vers les rails
It's the "one of them" I've changed by "we". Because your "walk" is really OK, and I don't remenber why I've written "go"  
Quote: And I translated "goûter" as "tea time" as that's what I had it translated to in England where I grew up.
Oh. Yes. But there's no tea time in France. At four (or five) o'clock, kids eat cake, chocolate or other food. Quote: Should it have been "mains" instead of "main"
OK, not easy 
I take the hand of a kid at my left side, and I take the hand of the other kid at the right side. So, I take two hands. But. There's a "but". This rule in french langage isn't easy. I take ONE hand of every kid. I think that "main" is ok, and "mains" is ok. Must I consider my person (I take two hands) or every kid ? I don't remenber, sorry. I'll look for. |
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| ^ | Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Member: #51754 Location: In a forest , France | ||
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OK, makes sense. I know that I make mistakes in French because the English is so different and I often get the word order wrong.
Thanks for the French lesson! |
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| ^ | Joined: 26 Jul 2005 Member: #76094 Location: In transit | ||
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Very good work. Thanks for this. |
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| ^ | Joined: 20 Jun 2008 Member: #183273 | ||
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| ^ | Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Member: #51754 Location: In a forest , France | ||
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Very very good! Great piano too! |
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| ^ | Joined: 30 Nov 2004 Member: #49912 | ||
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Beautiful piece - and a French lesson as a bonus! We should have more these kind of educating trans-cultural pique-niques. H. |
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| ^ | Joined: 04 Aug 2006 Member: #115284 Location: Helsinki | ||
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Thank's for kind comments.
I want add something more. It's very important for me to obtain positive comments about a french song. Because it's not easy submit a french song in a english langage forum. There's no problem with an instrumental piece, but with a song, it's a little different. Not easy. Yes. |
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| ^ | Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Member: #51754 Location: In a forest , France | ||
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hi daniel!
I like your song very much: it's a good composition, well arranged and you have artfully expressed feelings about a serious theme without becoming cheesy. excellent! and it's nice to hear here another genre. kvr is really a place for diversity. cheers to france wolf |
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| ^ | Joined: 05 Jun 2002 Member: #2967 Location: Southern Germany | ||
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Quote: I like your song very much: it's a good composition, well arranged and you have artfully expressed feelings about a serious theme without becoming cheesy. excellent!
and it's nice to hear here another genre. kvr is really a place for diversity. cheers to france Your comments are honey.
Merci beaucoup pour ça. |
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| ^ | Joined: 15 Dec 2004 Member: #51754 Location: In a forest , France |
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