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Rosicrucian poem

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Moderators: Scoops, Moderators (Main)

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Narcissistic Messiah
 
4549 posts since 7 Apr, 2002, from https://soundcloud.com/remcoh
    

Postby Emerald Tablet; Wed Jan 15, 2014 3:04 pm Rosicrucian poem

Look mommy - No beat

Found an old Rosicrucian poem
Made some simple accompanying stuff
And sang it.

www.youreallfree.com/music/YAF_ever-dawning.mp3

If we could but remember,
When the clouds hang thick and low,
When our hearts are sad and weary
And we falter as we go;

The sun is ever shining
And the stars send forth their light,
The day is ever dawning
After the long, dark night;

'Twould make our burden easy,
And with patience we'd toil on
'Till the night of life has vanished
And we greet the coming dawn!

The sun is ever shining
And the stars send forth their light,
The day is ever dawning
After the long, dark night;
KVRAF
 
1827 posts since 4 Oct, 2003
 

Postby MickGael; Wed Jan 15, 2014 3:31 pm Re: Rosicrucian poem

Lovely! I've done some post-graduate work on 17th century Rosicrucianism. Imagine my delight in seeing this! :)
"Time makes fools of us all. Our only comfort is that greater shall come after us." Eric Temple Bell

http://thetomorrowfile.bandcamp.com/
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KVRAF
 
8844 posts since 12 Mar, 2012, from South Bavaria - near the alps... :-)

Postby Tricky-Loops; Wed Jan 15, 2014 3:43 pm Re: Rosicrucian poem

OMG, this could be da hit!!! :love:

This is 70 % ready...

I'm not joking -- you have so great songwriting skills (and a pretty good voice) that it's sad that you don't work more on your songs.

Add a guitar, a mellow modest beat (in some parts, and some parts without any beat!), and a main part with a flute trance lead, and maybe some more vocal takes

-- and you'd get a number one hit! :o
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KVRist
 
389 posts since 16 Dec, 2003

Postby ecamburn; Thu Jan 16, 2014 6:38 am Re: Rosicrucian poem

This is a lovely tune. The poem is quite evocative. Your melody sets the poem to music nicely. Great backing tracks. Love the synth sounds you chose. Just one little niggle - even though I really thought your singing was effective, to my ears the vocal was a wee bit too up front in the mix.
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KVRAF
 
6440 posts since 13 Mar, 2009, from UK
  

Postby seismic1; Thu Jan 16, 2014 6:37 pm Re: Rosicrucian poem

In my opinion, this is easily your best song/track of 2014 (we're only 2 weeks in, I know). Nice simple lyric, and great complementary, soft, synth sounds to accompany them. I think it works well without percussion.

Good work :D

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