Retouched my first song/mix

[WillNeighbor]

Hey all,

So I made this song, posted it on reddit/kvr, took the feedback I got and worked on improving the mix and the song itself based on the feedback. Basically I'm happy at where it's at, especially for a first song. But I'd like to know if it's really any improvement over the first draft of it. Is there improvement? Where can I further improve? What needs to be done and what sounds good, etc etc.

Thank you very much for any feedback I get

The first draft

https://soundcloud.com/william-naber/pilot

the retouched one

https://soundcloud.com/william-naber/pilot-2nd-mix

[WillNeighbor]

Hey all,

Basically I made a song and was posting it on reddit for a week or two, got some feedback on the mix and what needs improvement etc... and I am now done with the second draft of the song. This is my first song/mix so let me know how you like it too, and if i even improved from the first to second mixdown.

Thank you,

ORIGINAL

https://soundcloud.com/william-naber/pilot

SECOND MIX

https://soundcloud.com/william-naber/pilot-2nd-mix

[Flying George]

Hey all,

Basically I made a song and was posting it on reddit for a week or two, got some feedback on the mix and what needs improvement etc... and I am now done with the second draft of the song. This is my first song/mix so let me know how you like it too, and if i even improved from the first to second mixdown.

Thank you,

ORIGINAL

https://soundcloud.com/william-naber/pilot

SECOND MIX

https://soundcloud.com/william-naber/pilot-2nd-mix

Ok, I listened both versions. I don't know how long have you made music, but I guess for the first song mix was quite ok. Second one felt a little bit stronger.

My advice would be to focus on musical side of things. Understanding basic of composition and arrange. I'm not really sure what genre this was, but there was clearly some work to be done. There was that lead theme, some variation. Other elements just pop in and out. You can surprise listener, but you need cohesive elements before that. You need to think how energy flows in your arrange and what you want to achieve by using it.

Don't worry about mixing too much at this stage. It's gonna take years anyway to master at decent level. I have made music just over year ago and the basics gives me still hard time. Have you considered taking lessons in some instrument and/or theory? It was game changer for me. I did put my first songs out there just a while ago, some piano pieces and EM tracks.
Just keep working and finish tracks. Don't grow any obsession about one single track, finish and move on. Rinse and repeat. Then things start to fall to your direction.

Good luck and it was a good start.

-George