When You're Bad - Joe Johnstun

[joejohnstun]

Hi! I posted this song here in its rough form and got some great critiques from some musical minds. You guys gave me some great advice on the kick, the excessive EQ scooping, the vox level, and the song structure. About two years later, here it is in its almost-finished form, thanks greatly to your help.

I wanted to give it one more pass here since you all gave me such great tips the first time around.

Thank you!


https://soundcloud.com/joejohnstun/when-youre-bad



When You're Bad

You're beautiful when you're bad
You push me to the edge
You have it all when you're bad
Your lipstick left on a cigarette
You dance on the table, dressed like a lady,
Drinking and driving me crazy
You're beautiful

Vodka
In a shot cup
With the sound up
And the Do Not Disturb us on the door
You're an artist
In the darkness
I am breathless
And the bedsheets beg me, beg for more

You're beautiful when you're bad
You push me to the edge
You have it all when you're bad
Leave your lipstick red on a cigarette
You dance on the table, dressed like a lady,
Drinking and driving me crazy
You're beautiful
When you're bad

In a second
We're suspended
As she dances
With her French Connection on the floor
We leapt in
To the deep end
She's a legend
And I'm letting her think that she's in control, you're in control

[joejohnstun]

Hi guys! The main constructive feedback I received was that the switch from high to low vocals was a bit jarring. I thought it might be a formatting issue, so I made a reprise version of the song. This new version clears out the whole boring buildup and weird twists and turns and doublebacks, exchanging them for a more normal, coherent format like a regular, sane pop song. Check it out!

Here are the two versions so you can tell me which you like better. Thanks!


When You're Bad 2.0 (new reprise version):
https://soundcloud.com/joejohnstun/when-youre-bad20

When You're Bad (original):
https://soundcloud.com/joejohnstun/when-youre-bad

[Frantz]

I think the new reprise version works better. It eliminates the abrupt high to low change of the original version.

I think you sound more comfortable singing in the high range. You might want to consider singing high throughout your next song.

[Allomerus]

Listened to the new song and I like it a lot. Great expressive vocals...
Can I say it's stunning!
The lyrics are excellent.
Well done!

[joejohnstun]

Frantz: Yeah, I think I have to stick with the Reprise. It eliminates a lot of problems with the original. I'm stick figuring it a good place in my anatomy to sing from for low notes, so........work in progress.

Allomerus: Thank you so much!



Joe.

[seismic1]

The new one is better from a pop perspective. It does seem more coherent/immediate. Maybe you could accentuate the "mini-drop" towards the end by dropping the instrumentation out from under the vocals for half or maybe an entire bar at 2:58 to give that last chorus just a little more impact.

Good work

[joejohnstun]

Okay, that might be a good idea- thanks!