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smd12
KVRist
 
112 posts since 25 Jan, 2010

Postby smd12; Mon Jun 25, 2018 9:15 pm Constructive Criticism wanted - Sludge Metal Track In Progress

Hi,

Looking for any feedback, if you choose, good, bad or indifferent or extremely ugly

https://soundcloud.com/the_synthetic_awakening/sludge-metal-track-june-2018

:tu: :phones: :band:
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wagtunes
KVRAF
 
12376 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Postby wagtunes; Tue Jun 26, 2018 2:47 am Re: Constructive Criticism wanted - Sludge Metal Track In Progress

My Feedback

Music - ?
Instruments - ?
Performance - ?
Mix - ?

Overall - ?

Comments: After first 8 bars of intro should have come in the lead. Intro too long. Then when the lead comes in, expected something a little more interesting. So I'm now about 2 minutes into this and it's starting to sound more like a shell or background track and not a complete song, thus I guess the "Track In Progress" note at top. So I'm going to wait until it's completed before giving any ratings. So far, however, there is potential here. The "backing track" is definitely pretty solid. I'm hoping there will be vocals put to this.
Eauson
KVRian
 
635 posts since 8 Jan, 2013, from morf

Postby Eauson; Tue Jun 26, 2018 4:20 am Re: Constructive Criticism wanted - Sludge Metal Track In Progress

Hello,
Well, will try to be constructive and not destructive, although the great sludger
would want the latter :D
The drums, that's what I'm getting, snare seems to go missing, later in the track its like this and its included as a double hit, flowing with your guitar transition,adding extra weight to your slide, maybe a timing thing?
:evil: power is needed in the snare as its competing with your guitar, same goes for the rest of the percussion, slap of the drum fitz well. Bass is somewhat subdued :(
More gravity, when you break to the alt guitar piece @ 1.50ish , I want some air guitar action available to me 8) :party: :evil: another guitar over the top?
So I feel like I'm capable of taking part in the performance . Or some hollering/quickfire verbbed/distance shouts or wailing, think Led zzzz
After the slide @ 3 minutes in, it all kicks off, but hardly lasts, 3.27 your back to what, again, but you were just rock in me out.
It seems you need to sit down and do a cut edit, play about with where the sections you feel hold the most sway, the end could be the beginning, its got a nice feeling to it.
I only got so far into listening, but its the beginning that needs to be improved .
As Wags pointed out, some very good suggestions, its the elements that offer a change of sway to your hair as your rock out :D that are absent. It doesn't have enough drive or aggression, it should hurt as I pull my :evil: face and shake my fckin heads, yes I have 2, I'm also 2 faced :D
Would be interested to hear an updated version :) and I hope this was as clear as mud!!! And you can't decipher it
You " inserted rude word here"
Last edited by Eauson on Tue Jun 26, 2018 10:42 am, edited 2 times in total.
Man is least himself when he talks in the first person. Give him a mask, and he'll show you his true face
systmu
KVRist
 
292 posts since 6 Feb, 2015

Postby systmu; Tue Jun 26, 2018 5:42 am Re: Constructive Criticism wanted - Sludge Metal Track In Progress

Ok I really like it as a song but not in the state it is in. If you had a band that knew what they were doing playing this live it'd really kick some ass. Get a singer. This is some good shit. As it stands as the track it's not really anything more than a record of what you did which is great. But it sounds really amateurish and everything else. I agree with a lot of what the others said. Too long intro etc. I think you are on to something at least with the song writing and structure capabilities though. If I were you I'd make a more of these then find myself a band and singer and go into a real studio and have it done professionally. That's just my 2 cents. Thanks
smd12
KVRist
 
112 posts since 25 Jan, 2010

Postby smd12; Tue Jun 26, 2018 6:03 am Re: Constructive Criticism wanted - Sludge Metal Track In Progress

Thanks all for the feedback and the brutal honesty :D :tu:

The intro was just the one bar of the drums.

Unfortunately, no band, just me. :oops:

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