A New Dawn - Cinematic, Orchestral Theme

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mediumaevum
KVRist
163 posts since 14 Feb, 2013

Post Tue Dec 11, 2018 11:03 am

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ9q0HnrPnU

Someone told me to use some dissonant harmonies sometimes. I did so in this piece, but I've tried my best at being very careful with dissonance, because I'm new to this whole idea of using dissonant chords.

What could be done to improve the piece overall, and what do you think of it generally speaking?

If the track sounds like it lacks rythm or quantization, it is because I chose to humanize it manually, also playing the flute, oboe and piano myself, trying to make some "emotion". Did I succeed with this?
Last edited by mediumaevum on Thu Dec 13, 2018 7:59 am, edited 1 time in total.

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wagtunes
KVRAF
14597 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: A New Dawn - Cinematic, Orchestral Theme

Post Tue Dec 11, 2018 1:18 pm

My Feedback

Music - 9.5
Instruments - 9
Performance - 9
Mix - 8

Overall - 8.75

Comments: Well, I liked it. I would have ended it completely different. The ending is just way to predictable, cliched and uninteresting. But otherwise, I liked it. Didn't hear any "dissonance" but this piece didn't need it. Was fine with the harmony it had. But that ending. I was so disappointed because I was hearing exactly where this should have gone to really bring it home. You took the safe out and it was a let down. But musically, very nice. One of the nicer pieces I've heard here. Work on that ending.

mediumaevum
KVRist
163 posts since 14 Feb, 2013

Re: A New Dawn - Cinematic, Orchestral Theme

Post Tue Dec 11, 2018 1:45 pm

wagtunes wrote:
Tue Dec 11, 2018 1:18 pm
My Feedback

Music - 9.5
Instruments - 9
Performance - 9
Mix - 8

Overall - 8.75

Comments: Well, I liked it. I would have ended it completely different. The ending is just way to predictable, cliched and uninteresting. But otherwise, I liked it. Didn't hear any "dissonance" but this piece didn't need it. Was fine with the harmony it had. But that ending. I was so disappointed because I was hearing exactly where this should have gone to really bring it home. You took the safe out and it was a let down. But musically, very nice. One of the nicer pieces I've heard here. Work on that ending.
Thank you for your honesty.

Is this 8.75 out of what - 10, 20 or 100?

How would you end the piece? I'm getting really curious. I saw no other option than this one, so please share your ideas with me!

I regards to the mix, what can I do improve it?

I can't do much about the instruments though.

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wagtunes
KVRAF
14597 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: A New Dawn - Cinematic, Orchestral Theme

Post Tue Dec 11, 2018 2:35 pm

mediumaevum wrote:
Tue Dec 11, 2018 1:45 pm
wagtunes wrote:
Tue Dec 11, 2018 1:18 pm
My Feedback

Music - 9.5
Instruments - 9
Performance - 9
Mix - 8

Overall - 8.75

Comments: Well, I liked it. I would have ended it completely different. The ending is just way to predictable, cliched and uninteresting. But otherwise, I liked it. Didn't hear any "dissonance" but this piece didn't need it. Was fine with the harmony it had. But that ending. I was so disappointed because I was hearing exactly where this should have gone to really bring it home. You took the safe out and it was a let down. But musically, very nice. One of the nicer pieces I've heard here. Work on that ending.
Thank you for your honesty.

Is this 8.75 out of what - 10, 20 or 100?

How would you end the piece? I'm getting really curious. I saw no other option than this one, so please share your ideas with me!

I regards to the mix, what can I do improve it?

I can't do much about the instruments though.
8.75 out of 10 so very good.

The mix could use a little more air, room, whatever you want to call it. It just seems a little stifled but not much. 8 is still a good mix. I'm just being picky.

As far as trying to explain how I would end it, that's hard to do. I'd really just need to do my own version of the piece and unfortunately I don't have the time.

But like I said, I really enjoyed it. My criticisms are nit picky at best.

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wagtunes
KVRAF
14597 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: A New Dawn - Cinematic, Orchestral Theme

Post Tue Dec 11, 2018 2:46 pm

Okay, I listened to it again and yeah, that ending sounded like "okay, let's just tack this ending on and be done with it."

Just falls totally flat for me.

Okay, you have this one part of the melody that goes B flat, A, G, F. It's repeated quite a few times during the piece. Melodically, that's how it should end as it's pretty much the main motif, IMO anyway. And of course the chords E flat (on the G), B flat (on the F). The B flat and A notes on whatever chord leads into the last two. And of course you have so many options there.

Now, how you end it arrangement wise, that's another story. There are so many ways you can go with it.

Solo Piano
Light Strings
Fuller Strings
Full Orchestra

I would have to experiment with the individual options to see what I liked the best.

In fact, I would probably rearrange the last 15 seconds or so of the piece. It kind of loses focus there. An opportunity to really bring this home is lost.

All of this is JUST my opinion so take it with the ever smallest grain of salt.

fastlanephil
KVRian
668 posts since 3 Jan, 2016

Re: A New Dawn - Cinematic, Orchestral Theme

Post Wed Dec 12, 2018 8:40 pm

I think you did a pretty nice job on this although it sounds maybe a little to familiar and predictable. Like recycled Oh, Danny Boy.

Try to surprise the listener.

mediumaevum
KVRist
163 posts since 14 Feb, 2013

Re: A New Dawn - Cinematic, Orchestral Theme

Post Thu Dec 13, 2018 7:59 am

wagtunes wrote:
Tue Dec 11, 2018 2:46 pm
Okay, I listened to it again and yeah, that ending sounded like "okay, let's just tack this ending on and be done with it."

Just falls totally flat for me.

Okay, you have this one part of the melody that goes B flat, A, G, F. It's repeated quite a few times during the piece. Melodically, that's how it should end as it's pretty much the main motif, IMO anyway. And of course the chords E flat (on the G), B flat (on the F). The B flat and A notes on whatever chord leads into the last two. And of course you have so many options there.

Now, how you end it arrangement wise, that's another story. There are so many ways you can go with it.

Solo Piano
Light Strings
Fuller Strings
Full Orchestra

I would have to experiment with the individual options to see what I liked the best.

In fact, I would probably rearrange the last 15 seconds or so of the piece. It kind of loses focus there. An opportunity to really bring this home is lost.

All of this is JUST my opinion so take it with the ever smallest grain of salt.
Is it better now? Try give it a listen again, thanks in advance!

User avatar
wagtunes
KVRAF
14597 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: A New Dawn - Cinematic, Orchestral Theme

Post Thu Dec 13, 2018 8:04 am

mediumaevum wrote:
Thu Dec 13, 2018 7:59 am
wagtunes wrote:
Tue Dec 11, 2018 2:46 pm
Okay, I listened to it again and yeah, that ending sounded like "okay, let's just tack this ending on and be done with it."

Just falls totally flat for me.

Okay, you have this one part of the melody that goes B flat, A, G, F. It's repeated quite a few times during the piece. Melodically, that's how it should end as it's pretty much the main motif, IMO anyway. And of course the chords E flat (on the G), B flat (on the F). The B flat and A notes on whatever chord leads into the last two. And of course you have so many options there.

Now, how you end it arrangement wise, that's another story. There are so many ways you can go with it.

Solo Piano
Light Strings
Fuller Strings
Full Orchestra

I would have to experiment with the individual options to see what I liked the best.

In fact, I would probably rearrange the last 15 seconds or so of the piece. It kind of loses focus there. An opportunity to really bring this home is lost.

All of this is JUST my opinion so take it with the ever smallest grain of salt.
Is it better now? Try give it a listen again, thanks in advance!
Doesn't sound like you changed the ending at all. Are you sure the new version is up there?

mediumaevum
KVRist
163 posts since 14 Feb, 2013

Re: A New Dawn - Cinematic, Orchestral Theme

Post Thu Dec 13, 2018 8:54 am

wagtunes wrote:
Thu Dec 13, 2018 8:04 am
mediumaevum wrote:
Thu Dec 13, 2018 7:59 am
wagtunes wrote:
Tue Dec 11, 2018 2:46 pm
Okay, I listened to it again and yeah, that ending sounded like "okay, let's just tack this ending on and be done with it."

Just falls totally flat for me.

Okay, you have this one part of the melody that goes B flat, A, G, F. It's repeated quite a few times during the piece. Melodically, that's how it should end as it's pretty much the main motif, IMO anyway. And of course the chords E flat (on the G), B flat (on the F). The B flat and A notes on whatever chord leads into the last two. And of course you have so many options there.

Now, how you end it arrangement wise, that's another story. There are so many ways you can go with it.

Solo Piano
Light Strings
Fuller Strings
Full Orchestra

I would have to experiment with the individual options to see what I liked the best.

In fact, I would probably rearrange the last 15 seconds or so of the piece. It kind of loses focus there. An opportunity to really bring this home is lost.

All of this is JUST my opinion so take it with the ever smallest grain of salt.
Is it better now? Try give it a listen again, thanks in advance!
Doesn't sound like you changed the ending at all. Are you sure the new version is up there?
I changed the ending by adding violins on top, and have a flute play some part of the melody. I also altered the piano ending.

User avatar
wagtunes
KVRAF
14597 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: A New Dawn - Cinematic, Orchestral Theme

Post Thu Dec 13, 2018 10:55 am

mediumaevum wrote:
Thu Dec 13, 2018 8:54 am
wagtunes wrote:
Thu Dec 13, 2018 8:04 am
mediumaevum wrote:
Thu Dec 13, 2018 7:59 am
wagtunes wrote:
Tue Dec 11, 2018 2:46 pm
Okay, I listened to it again and yeah, that ending sounded like "okay, let's just tack this ending on and be done with it."

Just falls totally flat for me.

Okay, you have this one part of the melody that goes B flat, A, G, F. It's repeated quite a few times during the piece. Melodically, that's how it should end as it's pretty much the main motif, IMO anyway. And of course the chords E flat (on the G), B flat (on the F). The B flat and A notes on whatever chord leads into the last two. And of course you have so many options there.

Now, how you end it arrangement wise, that's another story. There are so many ways you can go with it.

Solo Piano
Light Strings
Fuller Strings
Full Orchestra

I would have to experiment with the individual options to see what I liked the best.

In fact, I would probably rearrange the last 15 seconds or so of the piece. It kind of loses focus there. An opportunity to really bring this home is lost.

All of this is JUST my opinion so take it with the ever smallest grain of salt.
Is it better now? Try give it a listen again, thanks in advance!
Doesn't sound like you changed the ending at all. Are you sure the new version is up there?
I changed the ending by adding violins on top, and have a flute play some part of the melody. I also altered the piano ending.
It's still the same cliched ending melody wise.

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