Things guitar salesmen say

August 2019 is the first KVR Guitar Month so here's a new forum for discussion of all things guitar!
KVRAF
6395 posts since 31 Aug, 2013 from Down the Withywindle

Post Tue Jul 20, 2021 8:06 am

A local shop with a dodgy, oily, old skool shyster for an owner. 2 Floors. As I was going upstairs to try the guitars, I heard him tell the salesman 'tell him he's a great player!' So, sure enough, after strumming a few chords and noodling around a bit the salesman says 'you play really well!' I just glared at him and smirked. He had the decency to shutup.
I only use PRO chords in my songs…

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KVRAF
6886 posts since 7 Sep, 2006 from Roseville, CA

Post Tue Jul 20, 2021 8:21 am

"American made, baby!"

"ummmmm, but the headstock says 'Made in Mexico'"

"well, yeah, but that's, like, part of America"



*based on actual events

KVRAF
2125 posts since 16 May, 2020 from finally finished taking a dump

Post Thu Jul 22, 2021 11:58 am

I can't stop playing this guitar, can't believe how good it sounds for the price.
The one who seeks should not cease seeking until he finds. And when he finds, he will be dismayed. And when he is dismayed, he will be astonished. And he will be king over the All

KVRAF
2125 posts since 16 May, 2020 from finally finished taking a dump

Post Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:03 pm

hoxclab wrote:
Sat Jul 17, 2021 2:06 pm
My guitar salesman and I just talk about whatever. Never tries to push one or the other on me. I've known him for years.
That's what you think, but what you don't know is he is also a good hypnotist who has been covertly feeding you subliminal messages to get you to spend your money. :wink:
The one who seeks should not cease seeking until he finds. And when he finds, he will be dismayed. And when he is dismayed, he will be astonished. And he will be king over the All

KVRAF
2125 posts since 16 May, 2020 from finally finished taking a dump

Post Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:10 pm

vurt wrote:
Sat Jul 17, 2021 10:23 am
bloomingclouds wrote:
Sat Jul 17, 2021 10:17 am
These pickups will help ya pick up any pretty lady!

Something my local guitar shop manager said when I went in for a string change lol!
playing the guitar is very much like making love to a beautiful lady...
yes when you get the fingering right, it makes beautiful sounds
The one who seeks should not cease seeking until he finds. And when he finds, he will be dismayed. And when he is dismayed, he will be astonished. And he will be king over the All

KVRAF
2297 posts since 30 Aug, 2012 from Sweden

Post Thu Jul 22, 2021 12:24 pm

I see you but I ignore you. I'm too cool to be bothered no matter what you're here for to buy.

KVRist
136 posts since 30 Dec, 2018

Post Mon Jul 26, 2021 7:17 pm

I must be in the Twilight Zone. All Guitar Centers I've been in within the last couple years didn't have anyone in any apparent sales role. They're all younger kids on their phones behind the counter, nobody to be seen or the few members of staff mindlessly demoing gear for themselves.

The days of their sales team jumping for each body through the door are gone, at least the shops throughout NJ and PA. The closest I got to a sales pitch was a few weeks ago where the guy appeared out of thin air to ask if I was also hearing heavy rain. I was hoping to try a few EQD pedals except he disappeared as fast as he appeared once hearing my confirmation of rain.

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KVRAF
7007 posts since 13 Nov, 2012

Post Mon Jul 26, 2021 8:02 pm

Chicks dig it ....

KVRAF

Topic Starter

6170 posts since 20 Jan, 2008

Post Thu Jul 29, 2021 8:50 pm

guitarmiester wrote:
Mon Jul 26, 2021 7:17 pm
I must be in the Twilight Zone. All Guitar Centers I've been in within the last couple years didn't have anyone in any apparent sales role. They're all younger kids on their phones behind the counter, nobody to be seen or the few members of staff mindlessly demoing gear for themselves.

The days of their sales team jumping for each body through the door are gone, at least the shops throughout NJ and PA. The closest I got to a sales pitch was a few weeks ago where the guy appeared out of thin air to ask if I was also hearing heavy rain. I was hoping to try a few EQD pedals except he disappeared as fast as he appeared once hearing my confirmation of rain.
The last time I was in a GC was a few years back when looking for a Korg Krome. It was one of those purchases I didn't want to wait for delivery. Called my local GC to confirm that they had the item in stock the day before. They said yes, I said I'd be there the next day and was very interested.

Next day I come in to the store said Hey I called about the Korg Krome can I see it. The guy looks at me and says hmm let's go back into the keyboard room. No Krome to be found. I said I'd called and I had verification that it was indeed in stock. All the while the sales guy was trying to steer me to other keys near that range. Same bait and switch they've pulled for years and years.

I can't say what is going on in GC these days but I refuse to go. Before it was a thing that if you need a big brand big ticket item you had to go to GC. Fender and especially Gibson made it impossible for ma pa dealers to sell with a reasonable markup while giving high volume stores like Sweetwater (yes sweetwater did have brick and mortar) Sam Ash and GC.

I know that the eu did something about that price fixing years back and I don't know if the US did the same.
https://www.mylespaul.com/threads/gibso ... st-1534522
Synapse Audio Dune 3 I'm in love

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KVRian
841 posts since 2 Sep, 2019

Post Fri Jul 30, 2021 12:26 am

“This guitar was owned by a little old lady who only played it at church on Sundays.”

“Original set of strings on this baby, and had regular tune-ups.”
THIS MUSIC HAS BEEN MIXED TO BE PLAYED LOUD SO TURN IT UP

KVRian
991 posts since 25 Feb, 2008 from Sydney, Australia

Post Fri Jul 30, 2021 2:55 am

I worked in guitar sales (Gibson and Martin dealer) and there were a few tricks that were used, mostly to move high end (5k+) items.

This one is fairly well known now, but if someone came in for, say, a VOS j-45 or whatever, and the sticker was $4999, we'd ask them what price would make them take it.

They would (tentatively) say 4400, and we would tell them we'll "ring the boss in Melbourne" and if he says yes, then it's a go.

I'd walk out the back, have a coffee and a dart, walk back to the counter and say "cash or card?".

9 out of 10 would buy from that point on, even if they had reservations.

I'm so glad I don't work in that industry anymore!
Prestissimo in Moto Perpetuo

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KVRAF
2691 posts since 20 Mar, 2012 from Babbleon

Post Fri Jul 30, 2021 6:29 am

Hey you, don't watch that, watch this
This is the heavy heavy monster sound
The nuttiest sound around
So if you've come in off the street
And you're beginning to feel the heat
Well, listen buster
You better start to move your feet
To the rockinest, rock-steady beat
Of madness
One step beyond
ah böwakawa poussé poussé

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KVRAF
7007 posts since 13 Nov, 2012

Post Fri Jul 30, 2021 10:21 am

It matches your slacks.

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addled muppet weed
82547 posts since 26 Jan, 2003 from through the looking glass

Post Fri Jul 30, 2021 10:48 am

"wow, have you been playing long?"

no...


"i thought not"

KVRAF
2125 posts since 16 May, 2020 from finally finished taking a dump

Post Sat Jul 31, 2021 4:14 am

Don't touch if you're not buying
The one who seeks should not cease seeking until he finds. And when he finds, he will be dismayed. And when he is dismayed, he will be astonished. And he will be king over the All

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