Fragile Gods - "Before The Stars Collide" (new Aug 31 version)

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KVRAF
5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Sun Aug 03, 2014 4:03 pm

This one started as an unfinished instrumental about 10 years ago. This year, working from the old MIDI, I shaped it into a song, wrote the lyrics, and came up with all new sounds.

Aug 31 Edit: The general consensus on the first version was that the vocals needed more work. In this new version, the vocals are vocoded. Although you can't easily make out the lyrics, vocoders have the advantage of being able to sing in tune. :)

I also reworked the chorus a bit. Please let me know what you think. Any feedback is appreciated.


Fragile Gods "Before The Stars Collide"

http://soundcloud.com/fragilegods/beforethestarscollide

The lyrics are on the SoundCloud link.

Plugins: Rayblaster, Electra2, M-Tron Pro, Diva, Polysix, Drumatic4, WarmVerb (vocoder)
Last edited by Frantz on Mon Jan 12, 2015 12:31 pm, edited 8 times in total.

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KVRAF
2795 posts since 3 May, 2003 from Germany

Post Sun Aug 03, 2014 5:51 pm

Beautiful song! A fine arrangement with lots of details which develops pleasantly :)
The only nitpicker thing I have (which can be just a matter of taste of course): Too much high level frequencies/ the exciter one. But if you aimed to have the sort of 80s mix-sound, ok - then yes.
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sbj
KVRian
1228 posts since 17 Aug, 2012 from Old Zealand

Post Mon Aug 04, 2014 5:41 am

Nice one Frantz :clap:

You really know this genre like the back of your hand.

No crits. Enjoyed the whole thing.

Cheers :tu:
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Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination - Mark Twain
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KVRAF

Topic Starter

5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Mon Aug 04, 2014 7:59 pm

thomekk wrote:Beautiful song! A fine arrangement with lots of details which develops pleasantly :)
Thanks, I appreciate the comments. 8)
thomekk wrote: The only nitpicker thing I have (which can be just a matter of taste of course): Too much high level frequencies/ the exciter one. But if you aimed to have the sort of 80s mix-sound, ok - then yes.
I'm not sure if I completely understand the comment about "the exciter" but I do seem to be stuck in the 80s for better or worse. I could do something modern sounding but I'm not sure if I would enjoy it.

KVRAF
8072 posts since 12 Dec, 2003 from Canada

Post Tue Aug 05, 2014 3:28 am

Enjoyed the instrumental aspect quite a bit Frantz, but the vocal just isn't my kind of thing on this track. Perhaps too contrast-y against the music? Anyhow, musically, :tu:.
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KVRAF
4644 posts since 1 Aug, 2005 from Warszawa, Poland

Post Tue Aug 05, 2014 3:06 pm

Pretty song and quite catchy one. I enjoyed it a lot. A little + one for vocals, don't quite fit, maybe too much spoken word like. I didn't hear anything wrong with high frequencies, maybe it's the matter of my hearing... Vocalish pad seemed a tad louder than everything else. The mix feels quite fine besides this.

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KVRAF

Topic Starter

5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Tue Aug 05, 2014 6:48 pm

sbj wrote:Nice one Frantz :clap:

You really know this genre like the back of your hand.

No crits. Enjoyed the whole thing.

Cheers :tu:
Thank you, sir. Very much appreciated. :)

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KVRAF

Topic Starter

5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Tue Aug 05, 2014 7:03 pm

polyslax wrote:Enjoyed the instrumental aspect quite a bit Frantz, but the vocal just isn't my kind of thing on this track. Perhaps too contrast-y against the music? Anyhow, musically, :tu:.
I tried once again to use a fair amount of dry vox in the mix and immediately received the polyslax beatdown. :hihi: Actually it's very useful feedback. Depending on the rest of the feedback, I may rework the vox. I could use a vocal signal chain from another one of my tracks that was well received here.

Glad you at least liked the instrumental. Thanks for the honest feedback. :)

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KVRAF
10290 posts since 13 Mar, 2009 from UK

Post Wed Aug 06, 2014 4:11 pm

It's a great song, but I have a couple of minor reservations about it. The vocals are a bit of a problem imho, possibly because this song is smoother and less "edgy", relying more heavily upon the melodic elements than some of your earlier tracks, in turn requiring a more melodic vocal style/delivery.

I listened to the first (0:13-0:39) and second (1:31-1:57) verses, and it seems to me that the second verse was better "pitched", as if you had become comfortable or warmed up by the time the second verse came around. I think I may be in agreement with Zombie Queen regarding the volume of the vocal pad during the chorus (if that is what he was referring to), but if you cut the level of the pad the vocal may have to come down a little too. Come to think of it, the vox in the chorus have quite a "dry" sound and maybe could stand a little processing.

I loved the percussion and synths, especially that PPG-like sound with the 'trons at 2:47

Great to hear a new tune from you again.

Good work :tu:

D.H. MOD
14049 posts since 21 Jun, 2008

Post Wed Aug 06, 2014 5:36 pm

Cool. I like the choir. I think the vocals are okay, but if you do rework them, maybe just a bit more mid-to-low left in? (I'm probably not the best one to give vocal advice in any case.)

Good stuff. Thanks.

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KVRAF

Topic Starter

5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Wed Aug 06, 2014 8:46 pm

Zombie Queen wrote:Pretty song and quite catchy one. I enjoyed it a lot. A little + one for vocals, don't quite fit, maybe too much spoken word like. I didn't hear anything wrong with high frequencies, maybe it's the matter of my hearing... Vocalish pad seemed a tad louder than everything else. The mix feels quite fine besides this.
Glad you liked the song. I will try to rework the vox and consider lowering the mellotron (vocalish pad) in the chorus. Thanks for the useful feedback. :tu:

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KVRAF

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5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Wed Aug 06, 2014 9:08 pm

seismic1 wrote:The vocals are a bit of a problem imho, possibly because this song is smoother and less "edgy", relying more heavily upon the melodic elements than some of your earlier tracks, in turn requiring a more melodic vocal style/delivery.
A perfectly reasonable comment but I would find a more melodic delivery even more challenging given my limited vocal talents.
seismic1 wrote: I listened to the first (0:13-0:39) and second (1:31-1:57) verses, and it seems to me that the second verse was better "pitched", as if you had become comfortable or warmed up by the time the second verse came around... Come to think of it, the vox in the chorus have quite a "dry" sound and maybe could stand a little processing.
Yes, I decided to go au naturel with the vox on this one with predictably disastrous results. :dog: The next version should have a lot of processing (no dry vox) and Melodyne for pitch correction. I'll give it another go and see what happens.

I think I will switch to instrumentals after this. :clown:
seismic1 wrote: I loved the percussion and synths, especially that PPG-like sound with the 'trons at 2:47
Yes, that is my first ever Tone2 Electra2 patch. I was also pleased with that sound. Glad you noticed it. :)
seismic1 wrote: I think I may be in agreement with Zombie Queen regarding the volume of the vocal pad during the chorus (if that is what he was referring to), but if you cut the level of the pad the vocal may have to come down a little too.
Noted.

Thanks for the detailed feedback. :)

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KVRAF

Topic Starter

5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Wed Aug 06, 2014 9:22 pm

D.H. Miltz wrote:Cool. I like the choir. I think the vocals are okay, but if you do rework them, maybe just a bit more mid-to-low left in? (I'm probably not the best one to give vocal advice in any case.)
My voice is very deep and bassy. I find it sits in the mix better when I EQ out the lows but perhaps I went overboard with this. Let's see what happens when I rework this.

Thanks for the listen DH. :)

KVRist
286 posts since 18 May, 2010 from In-Limbo

Post Thu Aug 07, 2014 6:57 am

I enjoyed this as well and do agree with what most said about the vocals being a bit "edgy" with the high frequencies.

If you do have Melodyne, you could do some very creative vocal harmonies (especially the chorus) and that could significantly enhance the vocal area in fitting in with the excellent music aspect of the song.

If you don't have Melodyne (get it!! :hihi: ), you might try some 3rd part harmonies (keeping it as simple as you'd like) while adding some good FX to the vocals.

Well done overall!! :)
Make music :harp:

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KVRAF
10290 posts since 13 Mar, 2009 from UK

Post Thu Aug 07, 2014 5:41 pm

Frantz wrote: I think I will switch to instrumentals after this. :clown:
No. Stick with the vocals. They just need a little polishing.

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