Fragile Gods - "Jagged Lines" (new mix Aug 4)

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KVRAF
5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Sun May 29, 2016 10:24 am

After months of intense procrastination, a new song is finally ready.

https://soundcloud.com/fragilegods/jaggedlines

Fragile Gods "Jagged Lines"

The ingredients - Monark, Electra2, Audjoo Helix, Arturia SEM, M-Tron Pro, Drumatic4.

The MP3 sounds better than the Soundcloud version. The lyrics are on Soundcloud.

Any feedback is appreciated.

Aug 4 EDIT - I uploaded a subtly different vocal mix which centers the vocals. Both the MP3 and Soundcloud have the new mix. Thanks to nineofkings and layzer for the helpful feedback.
Last edited by Frantz on Wed Aug 03, 2016 9:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.

KVRist
131 posts since 29 Sep, 2015

Post Sun May 29, 2016 7:14 pm

This is catchy as hell! Great synths abound. Love it. :)

KVRist
209 posts since 13 Dec, 2011

Post Mon May 30, 2016 1:34 am

High quality production you did again. I don't have anything to complain about as, like I said, you did a great job. Mix was good also I believe.

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KVRAF
2672 posts since 28 Aug, 2012 from Melbourne, Australia

Post Mon May 30, 2016 2:40 am

Great quirky 80s sounding track Frantz.
There's a synth note at 0:49 that you might want to review...
The part at 2:47 is very good.
Nice mix too!
Well done! :)
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Music with progressive intent.

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KVRAF

Topic Starter

5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Wed Jun 01, 2016 7:46 pm

ethermusic1981 wrote:This is catchy as hell! Great synths abound. Love it. :)
Thanks very much for your comments. Glad you enjoyed it. :)

KVRAF
2316 posts since 2 Jun, 2016

Post Thu Jun 02, 2016 10:33 am

Excellent stuff Mr Frantz. I enjoyed it.

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KVRAF
10288 posts since 13 Mar, 2009 from UK

Post Sun Jun 05, 2016 6:22 am

I listened to this about 12 hours ago and I heard the part at 0:49 (and again in the second verse) that Allomerus was referring to. It seems to be fixed now. I think the overall sound seems better today. More comments later.

Good work :)

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KVRAF

Topic Starter

5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Sun Jun 05, 2016 6:49 pm

Hezekiel wrote:High quality production you did again. I don't have anything to complain about as, like I said, you did a great job. Mix was good also I believe.
Thanks for the feedback. I spent a lot of time polishing the mix so I'm glad you liked it. :)

KVRAF
7095 posts since 17 Feb, 2005

Post Mon Jun 06, 2016 1:38 am

Very snappy, but sounds too "roomy" in the mids especially. I think it could benefit from some movement like a flanger somewhere.

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KVRAF

Topic Starter

5699 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Post Wed Jun 08, 2016 6:21 pm

Allomerus wrote:Great quirky 80s sounding track Frantz.
There's a synth note at 0:49 that you might want to review...
The part at 2:47 is very good.
Nice mix too!
Well done! :)
Thanks for the very specific feedback! I reviewed the section at 0:49. The synth part has a chromatic note or two which could clash depending on your perspective. I like it and think it adds to the tension but my semi-random approach to harmony may not be everyone's cup of tea. :clown:

Glad you liked the section at 2:47! I spent a fair amount of time revising it until I was satisfied with it.
seismic1 wrote:I listened to this about 12 hours ago and I heard the part at 0:49 (and again in the second verse) that Allomerus was referring to. It seems to be fixed now. I think the overall sound seems better today. More comments later.
I haven't changed a note or the mix since I first posted it. I think you can get used to anything with enough listens. Thanks for chiming in. It was helpful. :)

KVRAF
2091 posts since 22 Jan, 2011 from near Los Angeles

Post Wed Jun 08, 2016 8:17 pm

Frantz,
Thank you for the review! Now your tune: instrumentally it reminds me of Kraftwerk at times (good). Audio tone is very good on the vocals. Most of the time the singing is good, though at times it sounds pitchy (I recommend Melodyne). I've had a dream within a dream more than once (while asleep). Drums sound very good, as are all of the synth sounds. I like most all of the melodies. Overall, pretty cool! :)
You can hear my original music at this link: https://www.soundclick.com/artist/defau ... dID=224436

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KVRAF
10288 posts since 13 Mar, 2009 from UK

Post Sat Jun 11, 2016 4:02 pm

"Intense procrastination". I hear ya. I don't know what causes that. I sit down hoping to work on some music, but just can't seem to get my affairs in order and let something else distract me. A few days later, while I'm on the computer messing around with something in a half-hearted way, I can suddenly I find that I'm in the middle of writing something that I find quite intriguing and fulfilling. These moments usually occur at 1:30 AM, which means that I have to work fast if it's a weekday.

It's funny how impressions of music can change over a relatively short period. The first time I listened, I was in my "alcove" listening quietly, and there was some other "stuff" going on in the room. Second listen, and I had the room to myself. I also had the volume way up.

I've listened to Jagged Lines five or six times now and I keep thinking of the "Human League", both in terms of the overall vibe and specific synth sounds. It's definitely got an '80s synthpop vibe and works very well in that context. It's lighter in style than a lot of your other songs, almost cheerful, if I'm allowed to say that.

The synths sound great and the percussion in the verses has got a good "dry" sound that sounds great, and contrasts nicely with the reverbed snare in the chorus. I liked the break at 2:40. Very good indeed.

The vocals generally work well and I like the little harmonies that you snuck on - "half truths", "grapevine" are nice touches. The only part of the vocals that I'm not sure of is when you sing "jagged lines". I think "lines" doesn't harmonise that well with the synth.

Mix is great.

Good work :)

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KVRian
1135 posts since 28 Oct, 2005 from Finland

Post Sun Jun 12, 2016 10:53 am

Good stuff. Nice rhythm and sounds.

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KVRAF
1785 posts since 9 Apr, 2011

Post Sun Jun 12, 2016 8:30 pm

The dry synth leads remind me of the earlier/darker side of Human League. Mix sounds very good, except the vocal panning, which strikes me as an odd choice. Other than that no complaints here!

KVRian
645 posts since 4 Nov, 2013 from Vancouver, Canada

Post Sun Jun 12, 2016 10:08 pm

Made me think a bit about Depeche Mode, and a bit about Bowie. And some other stuff, too. Overall, it's really good. Personally, if I was going to complain about something, it would be that I wanted a bit more low frequency presence, but I may just have an unhealthy fixation on bass.

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