Learning to code

[aciddose]

I wrote this for no real reason. I figured someone here might appreciate it and get a laugh or two.

I did it in the last 30 mins after someone (non-programmer of course) off-hand said "why would you use an STD?"

https://pastebin.com/6PBFmGSg
My favorite part is the poke() function.

Code: Select all

user@X:~$ g++ joke.cpp
user@X:~$ ./a.out
Executing sti::fun() without protection ...
    Unmentionable acts have been committed!

Caught: Mongolian VD!

Seeking cure from western_medicine():

    The Doctor says:
        I'm very sorry to have to tell you this ...
        We have no choice ...
        ... but to fully amputate your p***s, immediately.

    western_medicine() returned false and was unable to provide a cure!

Trying acupuncture()

    Ouch!

Trying aromatherapy()

    Mmmh, patchouli.

Trying chinese_herbalism()

    The Chinese herbalist says:
        What? Western doctor tell you need to amputate?!
        Ha ha ha ha ha!

        No! Operation is very expensive!
        Western doctor just want money!

        No, no, no, no, we do not need amputate. You just relax.

        ... just wait two week, p***s fall off on its own!

[deastman]

Thanks for the tutorial. Now I feel well equipped to write my own VSTi! Also a bit itchy, but I’m sure it will clear up on its own.

[antto]

nice!

[Miles1981]

Strange code...
Some C++11, but then using throw() instead of noexcept, no override keyword, catching by & instead of const&.
Odd.

[aciddose]

Weird things happen when you really don't care about code quality because it's a joke

Purpose: explain that "std" is not an acronym, it's a bizarre abbreviation for "standard" including "standard template library".

Result: explain it in a ridiculous way that defeats the purpose for fun.

poke(Miles1981, stick);

[stratum]

Pastebin returns connection reset:)