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Wobby
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27 posts since 29 Nov, 2016, from US

Postby Wobby; Fri Aug 10, 2018 5:39 pm sayonara [piano hip hop]

Hello! I'm new to production and would love some feedback on this track! I aimed for a sad ambience with this composition I wrote with a friend. I hope you enjoy!

https://soundcloud.com/djwobbymusic/sayonara-w-ace

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Last edited by Wobby on Sat Aug 11, 2018 6:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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wagtunes
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12645 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Postby wagtunes; Fri Aug 10, 2018 7:19 pm Re: sayonara [piano hip hop]

My Feedback

Music - 8
Instruments - 7.5
Performance - 8
Mix - 7

Overall - 7.625

Comments: Mix a tad on the harsh side. Could use a touch of EQ. Melody nice. A little more variation would help. Noise running throughout is a bit annoying but not terribly so. What's the source of the vocals?
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Wobby
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27 posts since 29 Nov, 2016, from US

Postby Wobby; Fri Aug 10, 2018 9:17 pm Re: sayonara [piano hip hop]

wagtunes wrote:My Feedback

Music - 8
Instruments - 7.5
Performance - 8
Mix - 7

Overall - 7.625

Comments: Mix a tad on the harsh side. Could use a touch of EQ. Melody nice. A little more variation would help. Noise running throughout is a bit annoying but not terribly so. What's the source of the vocals?


thanks for listening! appreciate the feedback. my friend did the vocals, she does voice acting! here's her channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfCofy2laH367UYZJmVw8pQ
fastlanephil
KVRian
 
532 posts since 3 Jan, 2016

Postby fastlanephil; Fri Aug 10, 2018 10:25 pm Re: sayonara [piano hip hop]

I liked it.

I thought the rain effect could be a little cleaner as it almost sounds like white noise.

Are there actual lyrics or just pretend ones. Actual lyrics, if they were strong ones, would give it another dimension.
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Wobby
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27 posts since 29 Nov, 2016, from US

Postby Wobby; Sat Aug 11, 2018 5:59 am Re: sayonara [piano hip hop]

fastlanephil wrote:I liked it.

I thought the rain effect could be a little cleaner as it almost sounds like white noise.

Are there actual lyrics or just pretend ones. Actual lyrics, if they were strong ones, would give it another dimension.


thanks so much for listening! yes, they are from a script! i put translations in the description on my soundcloud if interested :D
Zexila
KVRAF
 
2906 posts since 17 Mar, 2008

Postby Zexila; Sat Aug 11, 2018 6:22 am Re: sayonara [piano hip hop]

Nice, like I'm standing in front of rainy window, music is going from my speakers in the background and her voice in my head, love it! :love:
This entire forum is wading through predictions, opinions, barely formed thoughts, drama, and whining. If you don't enjoy that, why are you here? :D ShawnG
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Wobby
KVRer
 
27 posts since 29 Nov, 2016, from US

Postby Wobby; Sat Aug 11, 2018 9:47 am Re: sayonara [piano hip hop]

Zexila wrote:Nice, like I'm standing in front of rainy window, music is going from my speakers in the background and her voice in my head, love it! :love:


tysm for listening!
Nubm
KVRist
 
35 posts since 24 Jul, 2018

Postby Nubm; Sat Aug 11, 2018 5:10 pm Re: sayonara [piano hip hop]

The piano sounds awesome and reflects the mood very well. The rain didn't bother me, on the contrary. It added much to the scene. However, the drums and voice sounded a bit narrow. I get the idea, but it was a bit overdone in my opinion. I think the drums could have some more emotional response. The hi-hat and bass drum sounded somewhat 'unprocessed', the snare is pinching. The whole set appeared 'flat' (not that it should be more fat or powerful or anything). It has that one velocity or one sample only effect. I noticed that in some other songs of yours too. This is just my personal opinion though.
For the voice its fine. Sounds like its spoken from the other side, or a fading memory that always comes out when it rains. The performance touches different emotions, and smoothly alternates between sadness, gentle depression, melancholy, kindness, regret, pain hidden behind the understanding words.
The bass is subtle, smooth, simple and fits in absolutely perfect.
Title, music and lyrics are matching very well.

Overall, great work!
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Wobby
KVRer
 
27 posts since 29 Nov, 2016, from US

Postby Wobby; Sat Aug 11, 2018 7:15 pm Re: sayonara [piano hip hop]

Nubm wrote:The piano sounds awesome and reflects the mood very well. The rain didn't bother me, on the contrary. It added much to the scene. However, the drums and voice sounded a bit narrow. I get the idea, but it was a bit overdone in my opinion. I think the drums could have some more emotional response. The hi-hat and bass drum sounded somewhat 'unprocessed', the snare is pinching. The whole set appeared 'flat' (not that it should be more fat or powerful or anything). It has that one velocity or one sample only effect. I noticed that in some other songs of yours too. This is just my personal opinion though.
For the voice its fine. Sounds like its spoken from the other side, or a fading memory that always comes out when it rains. The performance touches different emotions, and smoothly alternates between sadness, gentle depression, melancholy, kindness, regret, pain hidden behind the understanding words.
The bass is subtle, smooth, simple and fits in absolutely perfect.
Title, music and lyrics are matching very well.

Overall, great work!


hey, thanks so much for taking the time to listen - as well as for my other uploads! i actually didnt process the kick or hi hat other than with overall compression on the master bus,,very good ear!! i will take that into consideration for future tracks. ty for all the other feedback as well, im taking notes. im glad you liked her voice too! cheers!

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