Take Me On Up (my friend) -- feedback welcome [retro EDM]

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Bansaw
KVRian
668 posts since 19 Aug, 2008

Post Thu Jul 18, 2019 3:13 pm

Showing off my brand new toy, Orangetree Infinity guitar (at the end).
I know the first verse could be a few bars longer like the second. Just got lazy.
Hope you enjoy it.
Feedback welcome as always...
https://soundcloud.com/bansaw-843690132/take-me-on-up

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Benedict
KVRAF
2964 posts since 5 Mar, 2004 from Gold Coast Australia

Re: Take Me On Up (my friend) -- feedback welcome [retro EDM]

Post Thu Jul 18, 2019 3:27 pm

I put Pacific Deep on pause for this and it is almost a perfect match in that DM/PSB space.

I like the lyric and would like to like the delivery but sadly I hear your fear instead of driving passion. You have confidence every time you sing "resurrection" but not elsewhere. I am thinking that maybe you get that infection from a record you like so get to put yourself in someone else's shoes for that bit but are left feeling shivering & exposed otherwise. Not uncommon. The response will commonly be "we'll I'm not a singer", "or I'm not very good yet", or "I only wanted to hear about the bass synth".

I am directly getting up in your fear zone here I know but if you don't step past that fear and "say screw your fear, this is who I am and we're doing it" you'll stay stuck there. There is a workable tone in your voice and you can get there.

:-)

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wagtunes
KVRAF
16702 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: Take Me On Up (my friend) -- feedback welcome [retro EDM]

Post Thu Jul 18, 2019 4:12 pm

My Feedback

Music - 9
Instruments - 9.5
Performance - 9.5
Mix - 10

Overall - 9.5

Comments: This is SOOOOOO 80s. Love it! Reminds me of somebody but I can't place it right now. Eventually, it'll come to me. I mean it is SOOOO obvious but age is getting the better of me and stuff I used to be able to identify in 5 seconds now takes me forever. Anyway, great job!

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an-electric-heart
KVRAF
1812 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Re: Take Me On Up (my friend) -- feedback welcome [retro EDM]

Post Fri Jul 19, 2019 2:54 am

Cool. 8)
Sounds quite British, makes me think of New Order.
I read Benedict's review before I actually listened, and yes I can see what he means, but I just hear a little "trying not to annoy/anger the neighbours" in your voice :hihi: , I don't know if that is the case, but that is another thing us home studio guys need to contend with.
The only other thing I'll mention is the snare. Firstly; What you've done is fine. I'm hearing a low/flat snare that blends with the kick, and that's fine, it's done a lot in various types of dance music. But, I'd go with something with a bit of crack in the top, like a Linn snare (not to be too specific) or even layer an acoustic snare that has some energy at the top end... but again, I can't stress enough, there are many "right ways", it mostly just comes down to one's taste. :tu:

Oh, and I'll just add; You have concerns about the length of the first verse, but structure-wise, it feels and flows fine, that's just one of those things that no one would ever even think of if you didn't mention it yourself. :hihi:

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Frantz
KVRAF
5139 posts since 18 Jul, 2008 from New York

Re: Take Me On Up (my friend) -- feedback welcome [retro EDM]

Post Fri Jul 19, 2019 2:27 pm

It has a nice warm retro sound. I like the bass and drums.

I'm not crazy about the lead synth which is too early Vince Clarke for my tastes.

I think the vocals don't always mesh well with the backing track especially during the chorus. You could consider modifying the chord progression to better support the melody.

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Karma_tba
KVRian
1043 posts since 12 Aug, 2004

Re: Take Me On Up (my friend) -- feedback welcome [retro EDM]

Post Fri Jul 19, 2019 4:06 pm

Bansaw wrote:
Thu Jul 18, 2019 3:13 pm
Showing off my brand new toy, Orangetree Infinity guitar (at the end).
I know the first verse could be a few bars longer like the second. Just got lazy.
Hope you enjoy it.
Feedback welcome as always...
https://soundcloud.com/bansaw-843690132/take-me-on-up
Wonderful....enjoyable start to finish! I don't like to play the "reminds me of" game...but if I did I would say Human League...and I love Human League.

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MasterTuner
KVRist
184 posts since 30 May, 2018

Re: Take Me On Up (my friend) -- feedback welcome [retro EDM]

Post Sat Jul 20, 2019 4:39 am

Good, enjoyed...
Reaper (win), i7-7700k, 16GB

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Bansaw
KVRian
668 posts since 19 Aug, 2008

Re: Take Me On Up (my friend) -- feedback welcome [retro EDM]

Post Sat Jul 20, 2019 4:40 am

@Benedict, There is an element of truth in what you're saying. I do lack some confidence in my singing voice, but I think I can improve it if I invest time in developing technique etc.
Thanks for ending on an encouraging note.

@wagtunes, thanks, appreciate the feedback. :tu:

@electric, this is the good thing about feedback, I never would have thought of addressing a snare. Thats why we sometimes need an extra pair of ears. I might open up the project and play around with some other snare sounds.

@Frantz, thanks. I love some of Vince Clarke's stuff he did with Yazoo etc. With the chords in the chorus, I might look at that. I am conscious when making a song in major, I am thinking, "how do I not let this become cheesy" and I add a bit of complexity to my maj chords. Maybe sometimes that works, and other time not?

@Karma, thanks , pleased you enjoyed it : )

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