Let's Pretend [retro EDM] with guest singer ... feedback welcome...

[Bansaw]

edit: I sprinkled a bit of Melodyne on the vocals, and think I've got most of the pitch elements dealt with. Hopefully...although I still think there's one or two I missed
I collaborated with a singer on this song.
Feedback welcome on arrangement, mixing etc.
https://soundcloud.com/bansaw-843690132 ... remastered

[wagtunes]

I saw the title and I was hoping for The Raspberries. LOL.

Anyway, sounds great. Can't find a damn thing to nit pick on. And the singer is really good. I take it no pitch correction was used as a couple of notes are a hair off. Sorry, very sensitive to pitch since my voice is so horrendous. It's made me have to really listen hard to pick out the bad notes. Now, everything bothers me. Especially female vocals. But like I said, it's only a couple of notes and only by a hair. Otherwise, I'd say this is radio ready.

I guess I did find something to nit pick on.

[markkuja]

Cool! Pleasant melody. I liked the arrangement and orchestration. Sounds nice.

[Bansaw]

I take it no pitch correction was used as a couple of notes are a hair off.

Thanks Wags. Always appreciate the time you take to comment, not just on my stuff but many others too.
Can I ask what notes you think are off? Is it the 2nd "Save me" or the 1st "Save them" , or something else?
I almost never resurrect a project and tweak it after I post it, but I might make an exception for this one.

@markkuja Thanks for the comment! : ) The singer is actually Scandinavian (Norway).

[wagtunes]

I take it no pitch correction was used as a couple of notes are a hair off.

Thanks Wags. Always appreciate the time you take to comment, not just on my stuff but many others too.
Can I ask what notes you think are off? Is it the 2nd "Save me" or the 1st "Save them" , or something else?
I almost never resurrect a project and tweak it after I post it, but I might make an exception for this one.

@markkuja Thanks for the comment! : ) The singer is actually Scandinavian (Norway).

I'd have to listen to it again because I have absolutely no memory. When I get a chance I'll give it another listen.

[wagtunes]

Gave another listen. Around the 55 second mark and around 2:12. I think it's the words stay.

[Allomerus]

Sounds great as the others have said. I agree with Wags about a couple of words that sound like they might be in a different key but they are not prominent. I probably wouldn't have said anything really if had not been mentioned. At the times Wags mentions.
Well done!

[Dirtgrain]

Can I ask what notes you think are off?

I heard it too: 2:12 to about 2:20 had some off pitch parts.

[Karma_tba]

I'm worthless for technical or artistic critiques. I either like or don't like. "Let's Pretend" I like.

[Dirtgrain]

I truly like this piece--impressive. The synth harmony and the rhythm work well with the singer's beautiful, haunting voice. It's dreamy.

I'm brainstorming ideas below that might make the song even better--or worse. They are only possibilities that you can consider--and likely rule out

The "ewh oh ewh hew" part at 0:34 might be made more prominent. It could be louder, or the sounds around it brought down a touch. I hear nice reverb at the end of the phrase, but again, it could be more prominent. An exaggerated delay on the tail might be cool.

The chorus right after it that starts with "Save me" maybe could use something additionally to separate it sonically from the main verses. I wonder what vocal doubling would sound like on that chorus. Or maybe another instrument/sound could somehow, subtly be added.

The multi-note "Save them" at 0:53 sounds off pitch on at least one of those notes.

The lead synth sound that comes in at about 1:11 could be louder.

There was one echo on the vocal at 1:20, I think--or she made that sound twice. Maybe try several echoes off of it--like 3 could be good.

After the quietest part at 1:23, the resuming of the main melody and vocal sounds damn good to me. Then I wonder, could anything be done before it to make it have even more of a resolving feeling. I'm grasping, but extra measures of just the drums with some instrument/sound playing the dominant note (dominant to the tonic I mean here). Or a riser--a subtle one--not one of those giant EDM ones. Something else?

1:58 -- again that nice vocal "ewh oh ewh hew" could be made more prominent.

2:02 - 2:12 several off pitch notes.

2:33-2:48 -- I dig the synth lead here--could do more of a solo with it--or a double-time arpeggio over a measure or two.

3:42 -- I love this solo. In terms of the song's entire structure, I'm thinking about where the climax occurs. I'd say this solo is the most intense part of the song. Maybe it could come in earlier. Then again, I like the way the song ends off of the solo, winding down. This solo could be moved to 2:48 and the haunting "Let's pretend" vocals at 2:48 could be moved to the end, still integrating that cool trailing off of the current end solo somehow.

A riser does lead up to 3:11. You could add more sounds to it for intensity--but I get that you would not want to go with too much that might contradict the feel of the song.

The first part of "Save me" at 3:11 sounded slightly off pitch to me--and a few notes after that.

I wonder, in terms of having the climax at this spot of the song, if some things could be done to amp up this chorus part a bit. Volume, compression, something with delay or reverb?

For the pitch of the vocals, go through it with a fine-tooth comb and some good pitch-correction software. This is in no means meant to disparage the lovely-sounding vocalist. It's just a part of every recording process.

I truly like this song--it's why I got so nit picky. They are only suggestions/brainstorms/possibilities, but I trust your judgment way more on this than mine

You lucked out on getting such a good vocalist. Keep her contact. Make more music with her. There is something special here. Rock on.

EDIT: disclaimer--I listened only on my Sony MDRV6 headphones.

[Bansaw]

@Allomerus Thanks for commenting, appreciate it. I did do a remaster and fix some vocal issues, although I've got a nagging feeling one or two linger in there somewhere.

@Karma Thanks, appreciate you stopping by and leaving a comment.

@Dirtgrain This is exactly the kind of detailed feedback that I always hope for. Even if its pointing out some potential mistakes, these are the kind of things I can miss.

The chorus right after it that starts with "Save me" maybe could use something additionally to separate it sonically from the main verses

I struggle often with a pre-chorus, and how to set a chorus up properly. This is an area of growth.

You lucked out on getting such a good vocalist.

I picked up the gig on Fiverr for under $30. She's a newer singer and you can find gems when they first start off. As they get more well known they raise their prices.

I wonder, in terms of having the climax at this spot of the song, if some things could be done to amp up this chorus part a bit

I know what you mean. I tried adding some elements, volume etc. If I add too much the mix gets a bit cloudy since vocals do clash on multiple frequencies with other instruments. But I could look at having the overall volume increase compared with the verse. Or dip the volume a bit before the chorus kicks in.
-- top feedback

[Frantz]

Very 80s which is fine in my book. This bassline has been used in many songs giving this a familiar feel.

I liked the guitar-like soloing at the very end of the piece.

The singer has a decent voice but I am thinking her pitch is frequently off even in the latest version. For what it's worth, I prefer your vocals.

[Bansaw]

Very 80s which is fine in my book. This bassline has been used in many songs giving this a familiar feel.
I liked the guitar-like soloing at the very end of the piece.
The singer has a decent voice but I am thinking her pitch is frequently off even in the latest version. For what it's worth, I prefer your vocals.

thanks for the feedback Frantz...
And thanks for noticing the guitar solo, - I put in some time on that, although it might not sound like it! And at least there's one person out there that thinks my vocals are ok. The girl was a little pitchy and I autotuned it, but there were a couple of places that slipped through. I do like certain qualities about her voice though. Other more experienced singers were out there on Fiverr, but all cost more than I was willing to pay at the moment.

[sjm]

I like it. Solid arrangement, nice toms, catchy chorus.