My work in progress (more or less)

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Vertlain
KVRist
41 posts since 14 Jul, 2018 from Gdansk, Poland

Post Sun Mar 22, 2020 7:45 am

Hi. Like most of people, I've got more free time than usual, and decided to make something creative before I catch the virus and die. Actually I wanted to ask about 2 of my WIP projects. So since both of them are in production phase, I'm open for any suggestions.
The first one is fresh, with no proper mix atm, and I still feel it is lacking something in terms of composition
https://soundcloud.com/vertlain/purchawka-druga1

The second one is 2 months older. At some moment I started doubting if it makes any sense to sing, so except first line of my vocals it is filled with radom sci-fi samples. And of course it ends before it should. Do you thing writing vocal parts when I have no real voice or meaningful lyrics makes sense, or should I stick with samples?
https://soundcloud.com/vertlain/alien-m ... scary_shit

Thanks!
Simon
Music, just like tortilla, is no fun without a bit of "cheese". :clown:
soundcloud.com/vertlain

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el-bo (formerly ebow)
KVRAF
15783 posts since 24 May, 2009 from A galaxy, far far away

Re: My work in progress (more or less)

Post Sun Mar 22, 2020 7:59 am

Really interesting music, as always. So many little details for the listeners' aural pleasure. Second track is definitely a little more 'whole', in it's current state and I really think your voice suits the piece (Needs to come up a bit in volume, when you are confident enough). As for lyrics, it's not something I can help with (Can appreciate a great lyric, but cant write them for shit).

The first track also has a lot of potential. Really love the 'B' section. However, to my mind, the track would perhaps benefit from a much more subtle drum treatment. As it is, it's a little too brash for the arrangement underneath...imo, of course :tu:

Erisian
KVRist
59 posts since 21 Mar, 2020 from Gothenburg, Sweden

Re: My work in progress (more or less)

Post Sun Mar 22, 2020 2:59 pm

I love the atmosphere in both of these. Sometimes ambient music benefits from not being overly structured and I feel that is true of the first piece. If you work too hard on composition it could ruin it so I would personally keep it subtle. The movement of the various sounds throughout the piece has been thought out well.

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thejonsolo
KVRAF
2499 posts since 13 Apr, 2008 from Charleston, SC

Re: My work in progress (more or less)

Post Sun Mar 22, 2020 3:58 pm

2nd track is pretty neat. It should have vocals. It has a very modern Gary Numan vibe.

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seismic1
KVRAF
9519 posts since 13 Mar, 2009 from UK

Re: My work in progress (more or less)

Post Mon Mar 23, 2020 4:47 pm

I'm with el-bo on the first track. It's got lots of interesting elements,but at the moment it sounds like the percussion/bass is "driving" the track along, but it may be that a more laid-back approach with the rhythm section might let the elements currently in the background shine a little more. I'll try to listen to the second piece a little later.

Good work :)

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Vertlain
KVRist
41 posts since 14 Jul, 2018 from Gdansk, Poland

Re: My work in progress (more or less)

Post Thu Mar 26, 2020 10:54 am

Thank you guys for replying. The first track stays as it is currently uploaded (except eventual proper master). I thought about suggestions and changing the rhythm section, but then on second forum I got comments about drums and bass being too soft. So... it probably depends on what genre you want the song to fit in, what you're used to hearing (ambient, edm, trap, triphop). I like the drums I chose here, and I think they works as they should. Still, I'll consider studying more of drum styles in case I wan't to fit into specific genre with next song (I'm generally a melody, not rhythm guy).
I'll work on track no.2 when I have idea how to finish lyrics, I have started, and it will probably use sci-fi samples as well (might turn out 7-10 minutes long).
Music, just like tortilla, is no fun without a bit of "cheese". :clown:
soundcloud.com/vertlain

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seismic1
KVRAF
9519 posts since 13 Mar, 2009 from UK

Re: My work in progress (more or less)

Post Fri Mar 27, 2020 4:10 pm

Regarding the second track (Alien), I'm with el-bo. Your vocals sounded quite low in the mix, but I thought that they sounded good, both in terms of their sound and the fact that you are singing in tune. The combination of vocals and samples seemed to work quite well, so you could possibly use samples in a "verse" setting and your vox. for the Alien "chorus". The drum sound/style seemed to be a good fit for the rest of the music. The synths sounded excellent.

Good work :)

thenumber23
KVRian
631 posts since 31 Jan, 2003 from C@L

Re: My work in progress (more or less)

Post Tue Mar 31, 2020 10:20 am

I really like the first one. Very catchy theme and memorable. It has a synthwave aspect to it (the sound choices & drums). If anything, maybe it just needs a melody to tie it together, (or possibly some backing vocals doing things like oohs ahhs). As is, I could see it in a Miami Vice episode :-)

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