Acoustic folk song

[an-electric-heart]

I've been pretty quiet around these parts... Because I've actually been off doing a ton of music. I've been playing actual real life instruments in two different punk bands (lead vocals and guitar in one, and just bass in another), but one of my favorite things to do is to get up and do the singer/songwriter thing with just me and my acoustic guitar. I normally just do covers, so I've been writing some folk style songs (that eventually become an E.) that I can play at acoustic gigs. Here's one such song. It'll get singing, but it's pretty cool, and I don't know when I'll get around to doing the vocals, so you guys can hear the music right now!

Cheers!

https://soundcloud.com/anelectricheart/ ... in-version

[polutone]

To call this a song, you forgot to sing. For now it's just some kind of a backing playing and nothing else. Sorry.

[Bansaw]

You're an accomplished player, and its an interesting piece.
But, you've got many elements competing for the focus. Professional photographers are told "choose one subject to be the main focus, and make it very obvious what it is."
Music is a little like that: give me one element to grab the main focus at a time, and make it obvious what it is. If you give me multiple elements competing for the focus, I am left somewhat confused.

[polutone]

Bansaw,
What is all this text about? In a song the main object for focusing is the voice while the other elements are supporting it not competing for the top. Did you hear a voice in this song? Me neither.

[Bansaw]

Bansaw,
What is all this text about? In a song the main object for focusing is the voice while the other elements are supporting it not competing for the top. Did you hear a voice in this song? Me neither.

Where there is no voice, the lead melody can be the focus.
I've also heard tracks where the bass has been the focus, supported by the percussion; and the pads, arps etc. have been secondary.
Percussion (rhythmic elements) can also be the focus which is in the driving seat.

[polutone]

Are you a musician? I guess you may call you a sort of but that is insufficient. The music is a system. If a song has neither voice nor lyrics, that is not a song.

[an-electric-heart]

Whoops. I missed all this super helpful, constructive feedback.
Alright, to be clear this is meant to have singing (I'm mainly a singer), but I might never get around to finishing this, so I just thought I'd post it now incase I never do.