Hurt With You (original pop song with vocals)

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an-electric-heart
KVRAF
Topic Starter
2411 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Post Wed May 25, 2022 1:46 am

Firstly this is a work in progress. The choruses are there, but I've still got to track the verse vocals. I'm writing this for a competition, and it's due in a couple of days, and vocal tracking is going to come right down to the wire... so I thought I'd just share it at this stage to see if team KVR has any helpful critiques, even at this stage...

Update: Verses tracked, just got to do the singing through the breakdown.

Another update: Finished... good enough to submit for the competition anyway, but the breakdown could use a bit of work... I'll have a bit of a break and come back to it.

Thanks :tu:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pKd7eWhx2G8
Last edited by an-electric-heart on Tue May 31, 2022 3:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

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an-electric-heart
KVRAF
Topic Starter
2411 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Post Mon May 30, 2022 2:43 am

Cheeky bump for the new version... this needs to be submitted tomorrow.

Rene Asologuitar
KVRist
354 posts since 2 Apr, 2022

Post Mon May 30, 2022 8:43 am

Hi an-electric-heart,
Lovely recording.
I like the beat, and the music is alive!
Your vocals is very nice to the ear, and the melody is great.
Excited to hear your finished song.
Good luck in your competition!
Rene

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an-electric-heart
KVRAF
Topic Starter
2411 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Post Tue May 31, 2022 3:02 am

Rene Asologuitar wrote: Mon May 30, 2022 8:43 am Hi an-electric-heart,
Lovely recording.
I like the beat, and the music is alive!
Your vocals is very nice to the ear, and the melody is great.
Excited to hear your finished song.
Good luck in your competition!
Rene
Thank you! :tu:

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Bansaw
KVRAF
1734 posts since 19 Aug, 2008

Post Mon Jun 06, 2022 3:03 pm

I like your voice a lot.
But I think your arrangement is letting you down imho.
e.g. @1:11 you take all the energy out and change the vibe (did you change the drums to 'halftime' ? If so, I'd hesitate to do that - it just kills it). You might be able to get away with that for a bridge etc., but then you have to build anticipation for the more energetic section that starts @ 1:27. BUt there is no build, no anticipation for that change; it just 'happens'.
Also, the arrangement is very busy at times with that pluck arp being prominent, which eventually becomes annoying and fighting for my attention as I try and make out your lyrics.
You've a really good voice and have talent. If you get mixing and arrangement right, you'd be a force.

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an-electric-heart
KVRAF
Topic Starter
2411 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Post Tue Jun 07, 2022 6:42 pm

Bansaw wrote: Mon Jun 06, 2022 3:03 pm I like your voice a lot.
But I think your arrangement is letting you down imho.
e.g. @1:11 you take all the energy out and change the vibe (did you change the drums to 'halftime' ? If so, I'd hesitate to do that - it just kills it). You might be able to get away with that for a bridge etc., but then you have to build anticipation for the more energetic section that starts @ 1:27. BUt there is no build, no anticipation for that change; it just 'happens'.
Also, the arrangement is very busy at times with that pluck arp being prominent, which eventually becomes annoying and fighting for my attention as I try and make out your lyrics.
You've a really good voice and have talent. If you get mixing and arrangement right, you'd be a force.
Cheers. I guess I was consciously trying to a bit complex. I said up top it's a "pop song", but I was also going for something a bit jazzy. As I said, this was a crunch to finish, so I have started making changes. Namely, making the guitar and drums in the second verse a bit different (at the moment it's a straight cut and paste or the first verse).
100% left there's synth strings/pad, 100% right there' a guitar, I've turned both of those up a couple of db. Interesting what you say about the pluck, I really thought it was working. I'd like a second opinion on that... anyway, all this is a bit late, I genuinely wanted feedback before the deadline for the competition. I will finish it off properly though. Cheers again. :tu:

vata44
KVRAF
1672 posts since 30 Jul, 2007

Post Thu Jun 09, 2022 11:28 am

I like parts of this and the overall vibe, but I feel the production is what makes it hard for me to really enjoy. Some things seem too dry and not jelled together? I totally love the tone of your voice though.

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an-electric-heart
KVRAF
Topic Starter
2411 posts since 13 Jun, 2008 from Napier,New Zealand

Post Thu Jun 09, 2022 12:11 pm

vata44 wrote: Thu Jun 09, 2022 11:28 am I like parts of this and the overall vibe, but I feel the production is what makes it hard for me to really enjoy. Some things seem too dry and not jelled together? I totally love the tone of your voice though.
Cheers. Interesting. In the past I've used too much reverb so I was consciously trying to go dry and upfront for a change... but I was tweaking this last night, and I did actually add a little more reverb. The vocals has very light room reverb for thickening, but I've added a touch of plate and delay, I also put some spring reverb on the guitar... so yeah, I guess I too felt it's a little too dry.

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