Gloam by Lined with Asbestos (down-tempo/triphop)

[Oriphion]

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I doubt this will get many listens as I've never posted here but I always forget to and I would really love to get some feedback on this as I'm trying to think what to do with it.

This is a serious fuckaround of a song but everyone I've shown it to seems to like it, plus I like the weird sound I got with it. The song was made in around six or so hours during the night and the guitar and vocals (me talking near the end and doing ..emoish? - I guess - screams for fun.. I did death growls in another song so I thought why not go on the other end of the screaming spectrum but it was around 4am and I live in a flat so I tried to do them quietly) were recorded on a laptop microphone that's embedded in the keyboard and catches more static than anything within the reaches of human comprehension. The vocals were just a muck around, they were ad-libbed as I was too lazy to write something. I might rerecord them if I get bothered.

The track itself is very lo-fi, though it's due to to the actual equipment recorded on as well I actually liked the sound as it gives it a bit of an extra "spooky" feeling. It's a down-tempo/trip-hop track with a mixture of folk guitar playing, a bunch of weird percussive elements and screwed up vocals.

The track is still a work in progress and I might rework it a fair bit but I was just looking for commentary on it as it is an odd piece.

tl;dr
Link:
Gloam Revisited(demo) by Lined with Asbestos
http://www.4shared.com/file/58591033/7d ... sited.html (http://www.4shared.com/file/58591033/7db054a8/LinedwithAsbestos-GloamRevisited.html)

have a listen and do criticise it if you can. Even a simple, "it's shit," is great.

[Jazzyspoon]

It's not shit, but the recording is pretty muddy/noisy. You'd have a great (rather than just good) track on your hands if this was recorded a little better. There's some nice ideas and exotic sounds buried in there.
Keep at it.

[Oriphion]

It's not shit, but the recording is pretty muddy/noisy. You'd have a great (rather than just good) track on your hands if this was recorded a little better. There's some nice ideas and exotic sounds buried in there.
Keep at it.

Thank you very much for the comment!

I appreciate that you think well of the song, I'm trying to fix up a little of the muddiness currently. It's a bit of an odd track so I didn't expect people to like it to be honest. Thank you once again.

[s4w2th]

It is a good track,
you might try eqing the voice, roll off the bottom end at anywhere from 80-120hz, it will sit better and help take care of the muddiness.

I like it.

[dan_s]

I really like this. To me, its not all that muddy, I can hear everything clearly. The vocals are very nice especially the whisper screams. toward the middle, the vocal may be a little to loud and maybe taking out some of the low might work.

this is something I will listen to again.

[Oriphion]

Thank you guys so much for the comments and I really appreciate the help with the EQing. Once I get some free time I'll go back and try to cut some of the low out. It's taken some hard work to get rid of most of the static around the vocals/record so I truly do appreciate the help with trying to get them a little better. Thanks once again guys.