KVR Audio

artificial · Post by **artificial** » Sat Nov 26, 2016 12:42 pm

Hello all together,

after quite a long time - due to writers' block and some big changes in my life - I managed to finish another track.

https://soundcloud.com/offtheshore/once

I hope you like it - feedback is highly welcome! Thanks for listening!

All the best,
artificial

edit: changed the link to the new version.

layzer · Post by **layzer** » Sat Nov 26, 2016 1:30 pm

i like the song itself, but i think a different drumkit would have sounded better. theres a hollow, midrangy sound to the current drums that doesnt sit quite right IMO. welcome back.

Laguna Rising · Post by **Laguna Rising** » Sat Nov 26, 2016 5:40 pm

Very good idea, well developed.
I like the melancholic vibe it has, and the way you work around it moving into its sections.
Keep up the good work

Cheers

artificial · Post by **artificial** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 11:12 am

Thanks for the comments, guys! I really appreciate it!

Regarding the drums, I realize that they sound kinda "special", but somehow I like this "hollow" (this describes it very well hehe) sound... but I'll definitely re-think (and maybe redo) the drum parts.
Anyway, I just wanted to say thanks again, I'm really happy to get constructive feedback here at KVR! This helps me quite a lot!

sazb30 · Post by **sazb30** » Tue Nov 29, 2016 11:33 am

Yay! A new Off the Shore track

Listening now and really enjoying the fuzzy lofi vibe on the instrumentation. I actually quite like the drums. I'm really into Tycho's new album 'Epoch' at the moment, and this track is reminiscent of that vibe.

One thing that didn't really gel with me.. from about 2 mins there are a couple of places where the soft lead guitar sound creates a slightly jarring harmony with the other elements. It might just be me though.. I'm super sensitive to even the slightest hint of dissonance!!!

Nice work though. I love your music

fastlanephil · Post by **fastlanephil** » Wed Nov 30, 2016 9:55 pm

I like this but I have to agree with the first poster as far as the drums are conserned.

artificial · Post by **artificial** » Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:08 pm

Oh my ... thanks for your comments and feedback, guys ... I'm really sorry that I did not reply, but life's a mess sometimes ... Well, after some time I realized that I'm not really happy with the drum sounds and some other parts of the track either! So, I'm gonna try to redo them in the next days, hopefully I can improve them accordingly!

I just wanted to say thanks again for your words - I really appreciate it!

donkey tugger · Post by **donkey tugger** » Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:43 pm

Well that was a nice pleasant surprise. When people don't put the genre, I think, 'here we go..trance.."

I like the drums by the way. I agree with sazb30 though that there's one slightly dissonant chord in there -it's not horrendous by any means, but it is noticable; probably more so to a load of musos!

In terms of songwriting, it flows nicely but never seems to quite take off as you think it will. I'm not saying do anything radically different like massive wall of guitars or anything, but mebbe at the end some 16ths percussion (shaker, tambourine etc) and also transposing one of the melody lines up an octave would raise it, rahter than adding anything else.

artificial · Post by **artificial** » Mon Feb 20, 2017 8:21 pm

donkey tugger wrote:Well that was a nice pleasant surprise. When people don't put the genre, I think, 'here we go..trance.."

I like the drums by the way. I agree with sazb30 though that there's one slightly dissonant chord in there -it's not horrendous by any means, but it is noticable; probably more so to a load of musos!

In terms of songwriting, it flows nicely but never seems to quite take off as you think it will. I'm not saying do anything radically different like massive wall of guitars or anything, but mebbe at the end some 16ths percussion (shaker, tambourine etc) and also transposing one of the melody lines up an octave would raise it, rahter than adding anything else.

Thanks for your suggestions, I'm gonna see what I can do!

But I really like your ideas (16ths percussions, or maybe some transposing)! And I'm definitely gonna redo the dissonant chord thingie!

Thanks again, really appreciated!

Btw, I'm not really good with genres, so I thought, I'll just leave it away... hehe

artificial · Post by **artificial** » Sat Feb 25, 2017 12:11 pm

Hello all together,
here's the reworked version of "once" - besides of adding and rearranging some parts, I tried to improve/fix some of the points you pointed out and all in all, I think the track is way better now!
So thanks for your input and help, guys!

https://soundcloud.com/offtheshore/once

What do you think?

All the best,
artificial.

donkey tugger · Post by **donkey tugger** » Sun Feb 26, 2017 11:59 am

Sounding good. Just thought one more thing (Columbo..). I like the fact that the end bit keeps the same chord progression going for a long time and builds, but it might be nice to resolve it near the end into the earlier chord progression (e.g. at 1.00) to finish off. Just a thought!

artificial · Post by **artificial** » Tue Feb 28, 2017 11:56 am

Thanks for the suggestion, mate!

I'll definitely consider it for the next version! Haven't thought about that so far... Hehe

off the shore - once [indietronica]