My new remix contest entry. Please tell me if it sucks....

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http://soundcloud.com/illektrik1/remix-contest

Well it's trance, and after Ronnie saved me the embarrassment last time, I thought I'd post what I have done so far. It's not finished but it's mostly where it needs to be. The vocals are killing me because if I turn them up, they clip, if I don't they seem low.
Tell me what you think, and please, don't hold back. If you hear something bad, say it. Sometimes I need all the help I can get.
Thanks.

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I think it sounds pretty good, a bit slow to get started perhaps, but then again I can never stand most trance because I get bored :)

I did however notice the vocals and the music seem to be out of key at times, that's probably something to look into!

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I think I agree with Programentalist regarding the vox. They do seem to be a bit off key at times. I don't think they are particularly melodic either, which seems to be having an adverse effect on the instrumental parts. I like the build and drop at 2:20, but when the vocals come back in, they seem to negate the melodic components of the instrumentation and dampen the mood. You might be better off using the instrumental part as the basis for a new track.

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Hmm. Interesting. I was wondering about tuning. I ran the verse and chorus through a pitch correction software to get the notes.
I had a whole different chord structure for the chorus and tossed it out because I was going to use that for after the break. I almost posted a question here about monotony in chord progressions but realizing it is trance and it should revolve around a chord structure that builds, I decided against that.
The Vocal is part of the contest. It has to stay.
Thanks.

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Obviously the vocal has to stay, I think what we're both saying is you need to fix this in the instrumental part :)

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Sounds more like Devo or some 80s pop stuff at the beginning.. its very rigid and dry..

The lead doesn't really mix well with the rest of the song imo... sounds out of tune or off key...

The chord progression is good

the bass sound in the background doesn't seem right to me

I get the feeling there are some tweaks that could be done to make this one really click into place.. it isn't a lost cause but it needs some work.

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Good call. I knew it wouldn't be wasted to post here. After doing some intense scrutiny to the track, I find the key of the song is D flat Major.
I composed it in C minor.
Go figure. Tone deaf.
Back to work.

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i don't know man... All I can say is it did not turn me on. I felt the sounds were not very dynamic and everything seemed very linear. Seems to me it could use some "space" in between the sounds, some dynamics I suppose.

I create electronic music, but its weird, so I do not know if I can offer good advice, only what strikes me.

As for giving up and not sending it in... i recommend finishing it on some level and send it out there for its intended purpose. :) Best wishes!

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