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Is it mentally ill....

Anything about MUSIC but doesn't fit into the forums above.

Moderator: Moderators (Main)

User avatar
Phase47
KVRian
 
807 posts since 21 Aug, 2011

Postby Phase47; Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:34 pm

Next time you have any doubts, simply say to yourself, "to stop now would be insane."

That should quiet the voices of doubt.
User avatar
zerocrossing
KVRAF
 
7071 posts since 26 Jun, 2006, from San Francisco Bay Area

Postby zerocrossing; Mon Dec 03, 2012 8:50 pm

Arglebargle wrote:... to drop hundreds of $$$ of sample libraries, when I don't make any money from this? Just want to how much self-loathing I should feel. It just came crashing in on me how much money I have spent on a pure hobby, as I was contemplating another $250 purchase.

I think I kind of hate myself. It's clear, at the very least, I have no rational grip on fiscal responsibility.


I've spent that much money on dinner and turned it into poop. So, it's all relative. :hihi:
Zerocrossing Media
http://www.zerocrossing.net
4th Law of Robotics: When turning evil, display a red indicator light. ~[ ●_● ]~
blueman
KVRian
 
1253 posts since 28 May, 2008, from Saint Paul, MN

Postby blueman; Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:34 pm

Arglebargle wrote:... to drop hundreds of $$$ of sample libraries, when I don't make any money from this? Just want to how much self-loathing I should feel. It just came crashing in on me how much money I have spent on a pure hobby, as I was contemplating another $250 purchase.

I think I kind of hate myself. It's clear, at the very least, I have no rational grip on fiscal responsibility.



Yes, yes, and...yes. But...you're in very good company :hihi: We all love each other here and we are very sick :D
blueman
KVRian
 
1253 posts since 28 May, 2008, from Saint Paul, MN

Postby blueman; Mon Dec 03, 2012 9:40 pm

zerocrossing wrote:I've spent that much money on dinner and turned it into poop. So, it's all relative. :hihi:


Nice! That's about as good a justification as I've heard, or could come up with myself.

"While you were busy making music, you could've been makin poop. Take your hands off of the keyboard; get out and support your local restaurant"

:hihi:
Arglebargle
KVRAF
 
2988 posts since 18 Oct, 2004

Postby Arglebargle; Tue Dec 04, 2012 5:14 am

Phase47 wrote:Next time you have any doubts, simply say to yourself, "to stop now would be insane."

That should quiet the voices of doubt.


That is so crazy it actually makes perfect sense. :hihi:
User avatar
IncarnateX
KVRAF
 
1790 posts since 25 Jan, 2009

Postby IncarnateX; Tue Dec 04, 2012 5:33 am

Arglebargle wrote:I think I kind of hate myself. It's clear, at the very least, I have no rational grip on fiscal responsibility.


Look up Theo's purchase history or ask trimph1 to list his gear. You will instantly feel better with yourself. Promise.
trimph1
KVRAF
 
13491 posts since 23 Jun, 2010, from north of London ON

Postby trimph1; Tue Dec 04, 2012 5:35 am

IncarnateX wrote:
Arglebargle wrote:I think I kind of hate myself. It's clear, at the very least, I have no rational grip on fiscal responsibility.


Look up Theo's purchase history or ask trimph1 to list his gear. You will instantly feel better with yourself. Promise.


NOOOOOOOO!!!!! :cry: :help: :help: :cry: :lol:
Barry
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran
http://www.ambientonline.org/
User avatar
Dean Aka Nekro
KVRAF
 
6088 posts since 4 Oct, 2007, from A shitty little village that I will re-escape soon

Postby Dean Aka Nekro; Tue Dec 04, 2012 6:06 am

Jace-BeOS wrote:I destroyed my credit on this stuff because the Effexor essentially freed me of impulse control. We're talking many thousands of dollars here. In the end, I have some nice tools, which I barely use and am struggling to do so (tying to learn and actually create with them)... and bankruptcy. Granted, my employers wrecked my ability to earn an income...

Moral of the story: a hobby should not ruin you financially. Decide to stop spending a while and learn to use what you have now (or just make stuff with it if there's no learning needed). I know the feeling of new purchases suggesting happiness and better production results, but you actually have to work at making music for that to happen :-)


I have been taking it for 10 years now Jace mate. It has done me really well in alot of respects but others not so well. Personally it is the lesser of two evils.

I know people that spend alot more on hobbies other than audio/music...heck people that spend more for a few weeks holiday somewhere than I spend in a year on audio gear. I am certain they are the crazy one's

All the best

Dean
rockstar_not
KVRAF
 
4787 posts since 10 Aug, 2004, from Colorado Springs

Postby rockstar_not; Tue Dec 04, 2012 6:22 am

Who else reading this thread thought that Effexor was a plugin at first read? With that said, I think Jace's response carries a great deal of wisdom in it's words.

My impulse control method is simple, but does require an old-fashioned method. My music gear purchases are now made by cash transactions. If it's something I can only buy online, then I save up the cash and pre-pay the credit card the amount.

I have a little simple white envelope in the sock drawer of my clothes dresser where I stash the cash; bits and pieces from odd freelance jobs, birthday checks from Mom & Dad (I'm lucky to have them still around), etc. It takes awhile; better part of a year, for me to save a few hundred $, and that's where I kind of limit the price tag of my hobby purchases as well. Each little deposit into the white envelope gets written on the outside of the envelope and I hand calculate the new sum each time and write it on the envelope. All of this old-fashioned manual summing, writing, etc. activity helps to implant the concept in my brain that I'm saving up for something. It also helps me to decide what gear to unload on eBay/craigslist - gear that I don't use and likely will never use again. It's alot of work to do all this, compared to just providing a CC# and security code on a whim. But it is worth it.

Credit card usage and and online purchases remove some of the 'pain' of purchase - they hide the effort of saving up for something.
User avatar
Jace-BeOS
KVRAF
 
1796 posts since 7 Jan, 2005, from Corporate States of America

Postby Jace-BeOS; Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:52 pm

SODDI wrote:Umm - if an anti-depressant flips you over into manic patterns (compulsive spending) you may have been misdiagnosed.

From one who knows EXACTLY where you are coming from. And experienced it with the same RX.


I'm on the autism spectrum so I'm already not recognized as "normal" in how people perceive my outward demonstrations of emotion and whatnot. You'd never know it till you're around me for a few years if I didn't announce it. The diagnosis that the Effexor was given for was "depression." Essentially I got caught into the obscenity that is the medicalization of grief. My girlfriend of 7 years ditched me for another guy that seemed more convenient. The new DSM makes this kind of nonsensical inhuman crap even more likely. Being very intense on both ends of the happy and sad range, but rather flat in the middle, people don't comprehend me when they figure I ought be reacting to things the way THEY might. Most doctors will instantly declare bipolar. It's disgustingly over-diagnosed. My general flatness and my intense grief made people assume I was unhealthfully distraught. Well that's grief and loss. That's normal. But my "best friend" had just gotten "fixed" by Effexor so he coerced me into the same because "we can't remember the last time you were happy." Flat is not unhappy but people assume it to be because they lack empathy and insight into even their closest friends. Add clonazepam to the mix, and several other CNS suppressants and stimulants by ignorant and arrogant doctors to "treat" my sleep disorder, and add in the psychological abuse from my workplace... It all goes to insanity land, when I was actually fine as myself before the interference of inflicted help.

Blah blah blah.

I'm sorry to hear you experienced a similar thing.
- dysamoria.com
my music @ SoundCloud
PatchAdamz
KVRian
 
1444 posts since 12 Nov, 2012

Postby PatchAdamz; Tue Dec 04, 2012 2:59 pm

Arglebargle wrote:... to drop hundreds of $$$ of sample libraries, when I don't make any money from this? Just want to how much self-loathing I should feel. It just came crashing in on me how much money I have spent on a pure hobby, as I was contemplating another $250 purchase.

I think I kind of hate myself. It's clear, at the very least, I have no rational grip on fiscal responsibility.


The question, Grasshopper is does it make you happy, truly happy?
If so, then that is the price of happiness. :)
V0RT3X
KVRAF
 
4000 posts since 3 Jul, 2012

Postby V0RT3X; Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:10 pm

Jace-BeOS wrote:I destroyed my credit on this stuff because the Effexor essentially freed me of impulse control. We're talking many thousands of dollars here. In the end, I have some nice tools, which I barely use and am struggling to do so (tying to learn and actually create with them)... and bankruptcy. Granted, my employers wrecked my ability to earn an income...

Moral of the story: a hobby should not ruin you financially. Decide to stop spending a while and learn to use what you have now (or just make stuff with it if there's no learning needed). I know the feeling of new purchases suggesting happiness and better production results, but you actually have to work at making music for that to happen :-)


I also am ruining my credit due to lack of impulse control, and im also on Effexor.. i wonder if there is a connection?

So far i have been making my minimum payments on my card, so I think im good but its getting bad. I have finally convinced myself to just use what i have and not seek out more purchases until my credit is back to 0 again.

I have been taking effexor for so long now, i wonder what the long term results of this will have on my brain. I absolutely hate the side effects of missing a dose. Last time i went for 2 weeks without my normal dose of it and i pretty much nearly broke down, so now im making sure I always have my meds with me.

I am considering getting off this, it's absolutely awful stuff. I was reading up on it, and now i am afraid to read up on it anymore because im not to sure if i want to know what the potential long term effects of taking this are.
User avatar
Jace-BeOS
KVRAF
 
1796 posts since 7 Jan, 2005, from Corporate States of America

Postby Jace-BeOS; Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:24 pm

Effexor as a plugin... I struggle to turn on the good humor needed to make jokes about what it might do. It has so many side effects (I hAd them all and more they don't disclose). How about: "it reduces all dynamics to off and painfully loud." :-p

As for money spent, for comparison, I'll share mine: 17,000. A couple things were with money I was making. The habit started while still employed and could have been less drastic had I not been "resigned" by my employer. It was a salve for emotional wounds but quickly lead to hollow purchases of things I never used. Plus, one of my purchases is the Fireworx effects processor that died on me almost a month ago. $300 more to repair it. $85 if I can do the soldering myself (that's unlikely). Reminds me of my car, the unending money pit. It's been good to me in general but it's rotting now from irregularity of use.

There's actually a need for self-satisfaction and self-realization (Maslow's hierarchy and such). Hobbies are what we do for that when we don't get it from employment. So hobbies are necessary. The trick is to keep an eye on when our actions become pathological (doing things without rationality, out of mere habit and defective associations between happiness and how we seek it) and therefore harmful. Humor aside, discussing with third parties (like here) can be invaluable. If you're hating yourself, the action you take is probably not accomplishing the intended goal. Intercept habit with consideration.

Blah blah blah :oops:
- dysamoria.com
my music @ SoundCloud
User avatar
Jace-BeOS
KVRAF
 
1796 posts since 7 Jan, 2005, from Corporate States of America

Postby Jace-BeOS; Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:32 pm

V0RT3X wrote:
Jace-BeOS wrote:I destroyed my credit on this stuff because the Effexor essentially freed me of impulse control. We're talking many thousands of dollars here. In the end, I have some nice tools, which I barely use and am struggling to do so (tying to learn and actually create with them)... and bankruptcy. Granted, my employers wrecked my ability to earn an income...

Moral of the story: a hobby should not ruin you financially. Decide to stop spending a while and learn to use what you have now (or just make stuff with it if there's no learning needed). I know the feeling of new purchases suggesting happiness and better production results, but you actually have to work at making music for that to happen :-)


I also am ruining my credit due to lack of impulse control, and im also on Effexor.. i wonder if there is a connection?

So far i have been making my minimum payments on my card, so I think im good but its getting bad. I have finally convinced myself to just use what i have and not seek out more purchases until my credit is back to 0 again.

I have been taking effexor for so long now, i wonder what the long term results of this will have on my brain. I absolutely hate the side effects of missing a dose. Last time i went for 2 weeks without my normal dose of it and i pretty much nearly broke down, so now im making sure I always have my meds with me.

I am considering getting off this, it's absolutely awful stuff. I was reading up on it, and now i am afraid to read up on it anymore because im not to sure if i want to know what the potential long term effects of taking this are.


I'm not a doctor. As a former fellow user of Effexor, I'd say it's been changing your behavior and personality over time because that was my experience. Mine was severe. Not everyone's experience is as clear cut and the clarity was provided by external witnesses who did research online for me. Getting off Effexor was horrific hell. The addiction is physiologica, not emotional. The drug withdrawal effects emulate the things you supposedly take the drug for and that implies needing it. To get off of it, reduce your dosages very slowly over time. It took me about a year of reduction to get free of it and I still have long term damage from it. I had help. My new (true) friends helped me create smaller doses than what is abailae by prescription and managed my dose measurements (I'm mathematically incompetent). Again: it was horrific hell, but it IS POSSIBLE.

Keep reading the stuff you find online and get a doctor who is willing to work with weening you off, if your current doc won't. Some day, there will be an entry in history about how horrific psych drugging was in our lifetimes.
- dysamoria.com
my music @ SoundCloud
User avatar
Jace-BeOS
KVRAF
 
1796 posts since 7 Jan, 2005, from Corporate States of America

Postby Jace-BeOS; Tue Dec 04, 2012 3:37 pm

That said, sorry for derailing and I know some people feel the benefits outweigh the risks. YMMV, etc.
- dysamoria.com
my music @ SoundCloud
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