First Song with Voice

[Daniel8806]

Hi All, I originally had this posted in techniques but was suggested that this forum might be better. My message is below

I'm pretty new to this, and I'm using Alchemy and Garageband to create this song - I will be using tracktion 3 soon.

I finished the first half / intro of my song which is about the New England Fireball that occured towards the end of December. I would love to hear any comments. I need to fix some audio levels that I missed that I had set for something else, but other than that error I would love to hear what you think

Thanks!!

http://music.rigelastronomy.com/fireball_intro.mp3

[folderol]

Interesting atmospheric intro.

I think you need to develop the wording. Clarity of speech is critical, and you lose it sometimes, especially on the first word of some phrases. Where possible, make the first word of each a percussive sound - no vowels, 'ss' or 'th's.

Repeating sounds like 'fireball ... New England fireball' and 'skywatchers .... watched' tend to jar. Maybe 'object ... New England fireball' and 'skywatchers .... gazed'.