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fracture of men

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Moderators: Scoops, Moderators (Main)

mr.me
KVRAF
 
2083 posts since 11 Feb, 2003

Postby mr.me; Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:12 am fracture of men

I was trying not to think about what happened last week, but the closer it gets to Monday...the worse it gets.

A man at work died on the way to one of the jobs I'm running, my employer won't admit to the man being on the clock (he was in his own car, but had loaded a work truck earlier). They wash their hands of him as if he never was. I too would be washed away, if it had been me.

It seems the world encourages this cold blooded, greedy behavior...look who's running things. :?

On top of that Friday I was at the shop waiting to talk to the family and his girlfriend was more concerned how she was going to cash his check.

What a world aye?

Ok, now that I've vented a bit...here's my filthy track and now you know where the feeling came from.

Image

Oddly enough, I feel a bit better. No matter where you are, this is why we are brothers.
mr.me
KVRAF
 
2083 posts since 11 Feb, 2003

Postby mr.me; Sun Jan 27, 2013 8:22 am

Be warned, it's far from polished. :lol:
mr.me
KVRAF
 
2083 posts since 11 Feb, 2003

Postby mr.me; Sun Jan 27, 2013 9:08 am

I do plan on pushing this track forward, so any tips would be more than welcome.

...and I also plan on re singing parts, you'll most likely know where. 8)
Laguna Rising
KVRAF
 
6187 posts since 4 Apr, 2005, from Unsettled

Postby Laguna Rising; Sun Jan 27, 2013 9:29 am

Well, I'm not on my 'real' speakers but it already sounds pretty good, or maybe it's just that I'm a little bit upset myself and can't properly judge on mix quality :shrug:
Not very helpful production-wise, but I just wanted to let you know the song is worthy of your effort

Cheers
mr.me
KVRAF
 
2083 posts since 11 Feb, 2003

Postby mr.me; Sun Jan 27, 2013 9:58 am

Laguna Rising wrote:Well, I'm not on my 'real' speakers but it already sounds pretty good, or maybe it's just that I'm a little bit upset myself and can't properly judge on mix quality :shrug:
Not very helpful production-wise, but I just wanted to let you know the song is worthy of your effort

Cheers



You know, I have worked at this place for seven years...and hated it as it grows worse...breaking labor laws and taking advantage of it's workers. For a year and a half nobody acted on my cries to the labor board...falls on def ears.

I even did some research and went to my company letting them know that they may be breaking laws involving the drive time (F.L.S.A.). ...and said they may want to check it out to avoid getting in trouble. It was ignored.

If I could only meet someone who could bring these tyrants to the light.

I wish that I was that someone, I think that's why I still work there. Wouldn't want to abandon everybody.

Back to the music:

Thanks for taking the time. :)
User avatar
folderol
KVRAF
 
4304 posts since 5 Aug, 2006, from UK - Here!

Postby folderol; Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:20 am

What you say certainly explains the mood of the piece - and I think that it's well done so far.

Kudos for trying to do what you can to improve things, even if it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. The best we can ever do is try to help, then beyond that just accept what is, and look at the good things in life - of which there are plenty.
It wasn't me! (well, actually, it probably was)
mr.me
KVRAF
 
2083 posts since 11 Feb, 2003

Postby mr.me; Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:48 am

folderol wrote:What you say certainly explains the mood of the piece - and I think that it's well done so far.

Kudos for trying to do what you can to improve things, even if it doesn't seem to be getting anywhere. The best we can ever do is try to help, then beyond that just accept what is, and look at the good things in life - of which there are plenty.


There's some rough spots (vocal clipping) and mids might be too much. A lot of things on the mind, easy to miss.

There's been a lot of thinking on these things, hence the web site idea I posted in "off topic". I'm thinking of even paying someone to build it. I honestly think that if it worked, it would make overall work environment better for everyone.

...except the greedy. 8)

Thanks for checking out the song. :)
polyslax
KVRAF
 
8036 posts since 11 Dec, 2003, from Canada

Postby polyslax; Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:18 am

Good that you captured this while it was weighing heavily on your mind... you can polish it in time to your liking. For now I think it's a very touching piece, given the back story. I think the arrangement is great and quite enjoyed it... nothing leapt out at me as a problem.
Image Image
D.H. Miltz
D.H. MOD
 
8342 posts since 20 Jun, 2008

Postby D.H. Miltz; Mon Jan 28, 2013 5:17 pm

Good. I'm very much an eh, f**k it, close enough guy anyway, but I think it works as it is. That said, I'll keep an eye out for updates on it.

Thanks.
User avatar
Frantz
KVRAF
 
2654 posts since 18 Jul, 2008, from New York

Postby Frantz; Mon Jan 28, 2013 6:14 pm

A sad situation.

I think this is good musically although at times I find the arrangement a little busy. I think the lyrics would have more impact if the backing were more minimal at certain points.

mr.me wrote:A man at work died on the way to one of the jobs I'm running, my employer won't admit to the man being on the clock (he was in his own car, but had loaded a work truck earlier).


The family of the deceased should definitely get in touch with a lawyer. They probably have a good case no matter where he died.
Fragile Gods: SoundCloud | Facebook
mr.me
KVRAF
 
2083 posts since 11 Feb, 2003

Postby mr.me; Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:47 am

Thanks for having a listen gents!

FrantzM: I think you hit the nail on the head, on the next go...should be strait.

As much as I hate to say, there's nothing I can do with work...water under the bridge. :?
Mariosprt
KVRist
 
254 posts since 3 Feb, 2012

Postby Mariosprt; Tue Jan 29, 2013 2:37 pm

Sorry about the work situation.
About the track the emotion alone would be enough. But sounds good too.
Maybe you could between more and less instrumentation in different parts.
Other than that it's a good song.
If you don't want to overdo in the production department then you're on the right track.

Keep us posted man
User avatar
seismic1
KVRAF
 
6669 posts since 13 Mar, 2009, from UK

Postby seismic1; Thu Jan 31, 2013 2:02 am

This was a nice poignant song, mr.me. Good lyrics and song/arrangement. I liked the 'tron-style sustained string notes a lot. I thought that maybe the crash cymbals were causing a little sonic conflict there. Maybe bring them down just a little in the mix.

Excess of greed or lack of respect? I suppose it boils down to the same thing :(

Good work :)

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