Please check out my track "Left Coast" and tell me what you think. The vocalist is Dean Haakenson, a singer/songwriter from here in Sacramento.
Please check it out, it's the fifth song down...
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/1/ericbournemusic.htm
Mellow pop song... but it doesn't suck
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- KVRist
- 189 posts since 12 Jan, 2004 from Underground
Last edited by Eric Bourne on Mon Dec 06, 2004 8:26 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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- KVRer
- 28 posts since 20 Dec, 2003
Nice MOR track. Obviously, the vocals have a Counting Crows vibe which works well with the lyrics and the Bay Area/California lifestyle feel.
If you want some constructive criticism (I'll assume you do since you posted it), I would suggest that it's a "potentially" radio-friendly track. You absolutely need a chorus and a hook to be radio-friendly. While the verse uses a nice melody, it's not a strong enough hook to make up for the fact that there's no discernable chorus. Additionally, the song title needs to be used within the song, preferably in this yet to be added chorus.
BTW, what is the main synth you're using in the track "Hey, Miss Kitten"? You did a great job of developing the central motif. Really nice.
Ojuzu
If you want some constructive criticism (I'll assume you do since you posted it), I would suggest that it's a "potentially" radio-friendly track. You absolutely need a chorus and a hook to be radio-friendly. While the verse uses a nice melody, it's not a strong enough hook to make up for the fact that there's no discernable chorus. Additionally, the song title needs to be used within the song, preferably in this yet to be added chorus.
BTW, what is the main synth you're using in the track "Hey, Miss Kitten"? You did a great job of developing the central motif. Really nice.
Ojuzu
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- KVRist
- Topic Starter
- 189 posts since 12 Jan, 2004 from Underground
Thanks for the feedback. There actually is a chorus in the song, it gets repeated three times. The structure is verse, chorus, verse, chorus, instrumental bridge, chorus. I suppose the chorus is not very distinct musically, so I might need to change it a bit.
The other track actually should be called "Hey, Miss Kittin," the misspelling is intentional. Miss Kittin is an electro-clash artist and DJ. I used FL Studio's 3x Osc synth for the bass line in the track, and the TS 404 for some of the other stuff.
The other track actually should be called "Hey, Miss Kittin," the misspelling is intentional. Miss Kittin is an electro-clash artist and DJ. I used FL Studio's 3x Osc synth for the bass line in the track, and the TS 404 for some of the other stuff.
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- KVRist
- Topic Starter
- 189 posts since 12 Jan, 2004 from Underground
Ah, come on folks, this is a good track. It's my first serious attempt at mastering a track and some critical comments would be nice. Thanks.
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- something special
- 8627 posts since 16 Mar, 2002 from Birmingham, Alabama
well I have to agree with Ojuzu, there's not much to differentiate the verse from the chorus..still, I as went to open the gate for my wife to leave for work, I found myself humming the chorus. i do like how you dropped the drums for the guitar solo, and the outro was nice - you might changeup other parts in a similiar way. the singer has a good voice,too.
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- addled muppet weed
- 111274 posts since 26 Jan, 2003 from through the looking glass
nice 
i also enjoyed hey miss kittin,but would like to say now leave her alone she is mine
i also enjoyed hey miss kittin,but would like to say now leave her alone she is mine
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- KVRAF
- 4143 posts since 7 Sep, 2001 from Melbourne, Australia
I liked the mix in this song.
The vocalist's voice was very much up front which I think is of utmost importance. I could distinctly hear the other elements within the track. Did you do any boosts in the upper frequencies. That quite often adds a bit of sheen which this track may be missing. I'm not sure if it really is missing that - it might just be my ears which I don't always trust 100%.
The chorus sounds more like an auxiliary chorus rather than a chorus. I could be wrong but I noticed no change in instrumentation at all to differentiate the different components. This led me to think this song was meandering instead of reaching a destination.
The guy's voice is good although it does sound a bit strained on the highest notes. On the other hand - it's not so obvious as to destroy the effect and he manages to hold onto the quality and instead you get an instability in his voice that adds a bit of character to the song. Hmmm - I hope that made sense.
Anyway - overall I liked it. I would find it difficult to mix a vocal song like that as well as you have.
Caleb
The vocalist's voice was very much up front which I think is of utmost importance. I could distinctly hear the other elements within the track. Did you do any boosts in the upper frequencies. That quite often adds a bit of sheen which this track may be missing. I'm not sure if it really is missing that - it might just be my ears which I don't always trust 100%.
The chorus sounds more like an auxiliary chorus rather than a chorus. I could be wrong but I noticed no change in instrumentation at all to differentiate the different components. This led me to think this song was meandering instead of reaching a destination.
The guy's voice is good although it does sound a bit strained on the highest notes. On the other hand - it's not so obvious as to destroy the effect and he manages to hold onto the quality and instead you get an instability in his voice that adds a bit of character to the song. Hmmm - I hope that made sense.
Anyway - overall I liked it. I would find it difficult to mix a vocal song like that as well as you have.
Caleb
Happiness is the hidden behind the obvious.
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- KVRist
- Topic Starter
- 189 posts since 12 Jan, 2004 from Underground
Thanks for the comments. I see now the song structure needs work, but I'm glad the mix doesn't sound all that shabby. Thanks a lot.