KVR Audio

hibidy · Post by **hibidy** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 6:30 am

fwiw, it never leaves completely. I've quit, restarted, quit, restarted, quit......you get the idea.

Also, I've seen it happen over and over to others. "I'm done"........3 months later "Ok, I'm starting again".......

I don't have any advice, just sharing an observation.

Aloysius · Post by **Aloysius** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 6:35 am

As soon as I saw the title of this topic, I was thinking ... man, give up the drink and the drugs. They give you a little boost for a little while but eventually kill your creativity. After reading your essay, I was thinking ... man, give up the drink and the drugs. They give you a little boost for a little while but eventually kill your creativity.

My 2c ... for what it's worth!

deastman · Post by **deastman** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 7:44 am

I have to say that your new hobby, modding and creating themes for Android phones, sounds suspiciously like your approach to making music by arranging other people's loops. It is paint-by-numbers creative expression. Seriously, if you want to get into Android phones as anything more than a consumer, you should find yourself driven to learn Java programming.

As was mentioned earlier, anything worth doing will be hard. Signing up for piano lessons and then quitting after one lesson because you weren't instantly good at it? And you found music theory complicated so you didn't try? Learning to play an instrument was getting in the way of making music?

I can't tell if you simply aren't interested in being a creative artist, or are just lazy in general. Are there any subjects which captivate you enough to drive you to a true level of mastery? Mathematics? Architecture? Football?

I'm sorry if this sounds harsh. I mean absolutely no hostility whatsoever. I'm just trying to get to the heart of what motivates you. If you truly have the compulsion to create, you will keep working at it even when the going gets tough, and push through to the next level.

In my case, I've been a musician since my first piano lesson 36 years ago, and an electronic musician since 1984. I haven't been able to do much of anything since having children 8 years ago, but even during this forced artistic slump, I remain as dedicated as ever to my chosen craft. I am also a professional animator, video editor, and motion graphics artist, occasionally a software programmer, and an amateur photographer. I most recently found myself immersed in learning new web development technologies such as PHP, mySQL, and CSS for the first time in a decade. Learning and creating are what drive me, and the only reason I get up in the morning. I don't feel my day is complete unless I've learned at least one new thing. Is this stuff hard to do? Damn right it is... that's the whole point!

iDumi · Post by **iDumi** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:26 am

Good point deastman and you were not being harsh. I can take criticism. You are also right, I tend to be lazy, but I'm also very easily motivated when my hobbies and passions are involved. I don't shy away from difficulty, actually it's what drives me, the prospect of overcoming that difficulty. Hell, my parents always told me I was tone-deaf and that I couldn't keep a steady rhythm to save my life. And it was all true, but I overcame those shortages with technology. Every time I find myself passionate about something I feel the need to be the best I can at it, be it video games, or music.

It just seems my passions shift and change around a lot and so does my interest.

nix808 · Post by **nix808** » Wed Feb 29, 2012 8:38 am

well-taken Dumi,
IMO, if musical stuff isn't fun--
ditch it for a little while if ya wanna.
One chap once said to me-
'Don't do anything you don't want to do'
I like that statement,
I hope it can be so.
it's important to find a spark of interest,
it equals drive
If it's not there, it takes the impetus out of it-
hither-to fun and enjoyment maybe

jancivil · Post by **jancivil** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 3:36 am

you are a serious overachiever if you never did music on the for-real side. I would DEF say to nourish the act of 'producing music' you *should* learn music with your BODY, your hands working with your mind/imagination, and in a venue where you cannot fake it or rely on contrivance.

the whole thing of producing music from a non-musician standpoint I wouldn't have imagined would take you this far. so I'm not shocked to see such a sentiment, 'losing the drive'...

aciddose · Post by **aciddose** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 3:46 am

a lot of people think they will be the next big thing, then when they realize they aren't they quit.

that's normal.

meanwhile there are countless millions of artists out there producing a new work every second solely because that's what they enjoy doing.

i think you're better off trying to do what you enjoy. if you're going to set standards for your achievement in certain areas that seems fine - it just isn't very practical to limit yourself by that. the majority of people out there don't possess a single talent.

if you don't enjoy making music why on earth do you bother? why would you even care?

if you're looking to actually "produce" something worth-while my advice is probably best avoided. what works for me though is to simplify things. why do you need to "produce" in the first place? the whole composition and arrangement thing for me is just a chore i have to push through in order to get to my goal - which is to make the gear i enjoy using, work. so i find that if i'm spending too much time trying to compose or fiddling with presets or something like that i'm only wasting my time and getting absolutely nothing back out of the effort i invest.

everything goes in phases - i find i produce the best results when i haven't been paying attention. what tends to happen to me is that i'll have a complete track appear finished in my mind including all parts. a full progression, leads, fill-ins, the whole arrangement with everything. even the sounds.

my problem is translating that muse which usually lasts about a couple minutes into anything real. i've never been able to.

Hink · Post by **Hink** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:14 am

aciddose wrote:a lot of people think they will be the next big thing, then when they realize they aren't they quit.

that's normal.

meanwhile there are countless millions of artists out there producing a new work every second solely because that's what they enjoy doing.

i think you're better off trying to do what you enjoy. if you're going to set standards for your achievement in certain areas that seems fine - it just isn't very practical to limit yourself by that. the majority of people out there don't possess a single talent.

if you don't enjoy making music why on earth do you bother? why would you even care?

+1 but I would like to add a point I often like to make because of "if I knew then what I know now"...when you realize you're not going to be the next best thing it is not the end. I found once I dropped that baggage of wanting be something I wasn't I was able to embrace and nourish who I am. However do not balk at the power of dreams, they can drive you...just do not fear the what ifs, when one door closes another opens. Also often dreams are not what they seem so we may realize them without ever knowing it.

For me music makes me whole, but it is only one part of the whole and without all the pieces there is no whole...of course that is just me and one man's perception but I do wish 40 years ago I knew this to be true...or maybe I dont

edit: it took me forever to make my post aciddose (my daughter and my wife have a way of making that happen at times) and you added to yours...just wanna say +1 again

aciddose · Post by **aciddose** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:32 am

i didn't want to be too much of an ass

added the last part just to say that yes, i know what he's talking about. it's sort of an obvious thing that we all face.

i read that he's already working the weed angle, but i would suggest sleep deprivation and sensory deprivation as well.

weed and booze can work, but in my experience they mostly just seem to remove inhibitions and make you enjoy things a little more, even things that would normally be a pain. for example if i have a drink and smoke i'll end up with a 70s porn theme done mostly on my rhodes. i'm just thankful i'm not a good guitarist (my guitar hasn't had strings attached for a decade) or it would be wah mania. it would probably become a hit and get top ten airplay or something.

if you're trying to be original then that is the worst thing you can do.

Hink · Post by **Hink** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:36 am

I never drink and play nor have I ever, smoked weed and played, in another life snorted half of Columbia and played but even then I refused to play while drinking...and get this, then we practiced at a place with a full bar and stage not to mention a bar tab for us. All that was on my tab then was pepsi

aciddose · Post by **aciddose** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:46 am

well it takes a certain sort.. last time i was at a club where my cousin was preforming he handed me a roll of drink tickets. i could literally have drank the whole bar dry at least until i was cut off. i had a single bottle

just not really my kind of atmosphere. with a few friends at a pub is one thing but when you get to see how other people are affected on the dance floor (or what's left of it between the various liquids, broken bottles and half-conscious spread around) it really turns you off to the whole idea.

i hear the same sort of story from most of the people who regularly preform. seems one drink or so doesn't hurt too much; odds are you're already unwillingly sleep deprived and it would just ruin you though.

that's another source of inspiration though - an expression of agony

scavenger8 · Post by **scavenger8** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 4:55 am

Sometimes circumstances can cause it so you just dont have the energy.
Think about how you can change youre circumstances or if you can for see how long it will take to ride them out.

iDumi · Post by **iDumi** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 8:38 am

Thanks for your input... keep it coming.

Now I want to touch on some points that have been made. It was mentioned a few times that I might be one of those that seek to be the next best thing and when they realize they're not they quit. I'm not like that. All I ever wanted from this was a to feel proud of my music, to have people enjoy it and give positive feedback. Having a few tracks released was a very nice bonus but it was never a goal of mine. I always made music for teh sake of making music. Most of the times I enjoyed the process more than the end result. And I achieved that goal, even surpassing it, mine and people's expectations of it.

I can't read or play music, yet I have found ways to make sure all instruments in my music are in tune with each other. My parents and brother who is a drummer always made fun of me how I am tone-deaf and want to write music. Now, even when I dj I make sure all track are in key. It does seem I am somewhat of an overachiever.

Things have now, quite paradoxically, taken a very unexpected turn. Right now, when I feel dry and artistically lost and depressed, friends, fellow producers and djs I look up to, people that have been at it longer than I have and/or who are more successful than I am are starting to give me amazing feedback, telling me how much they like my work, how much I've progressed over the years and how I will eventually become big. Labels that re really big in the scene are releasing my music and others are asking for more music from me so that they can put out EPs and stuff...

A few years ago this would have given me a 2 week long boner and a grin of disproportionate size. However, now I feel people are having expectations I might not be able/care to achieve. People in the industry are asking me for music to release, and exclusive mixtapes for their blogs and what not and I can't seem to be bothered.

There is one large burden I have always carried, although I didn't always realize it. I have this strong desire to be original, to do something different, that's not been done a lot if, at all. I try and try and try to make everything in my music (from the beats to use of effects to song structure etc) be at least slightly different and unusual. This has now become a chore and a burden.

On the other hand, the thought of making the same kind of music everyone does, even if slightly better, makes me feel cheap and whore-ish.

kelvyn · Post by **kelvyn** » Thu Mar 01, 2012 9:19 am

This is a very interesting (important) thread that applies to quite a lot of us here I would imagine. That reaching out just outside of our reach for something innovative but intangible can be very frustrating and demoralizing. But as Hink implied the way really is the goal and if your way is to create something new and interesting then it might be good for you to take that information to heart and just let things be. Kind of accept the frustration and see it as part of the process. There are all kinds of solutions to your creative dilemma and concentrating on solutions is the first solution (starting this thread for example). Smoking weed and drinking all have their place in making music (what would the Beatles have been without dope) but it's important to see these moments as phases that you can control and when you start to lose control stop for a while (or permanently) and take stock. I am exactly like you in many respects. I was smoking a lot of dope (legally... I'm in Amsterdam) and drinking in phases (still do... no excess) and the search for THE musical statement has created a lot of frustration and happiness but it's all good. Every time it gets too much I recalibrate
and look for a solution and try not to concentrate on the problem (sorry I'm repeating myself) for example... I find working with other musicians/singers/producers etc very invigorating and very often that reignites my love for music or conversely makes me appreciate working on my own. deastman made some very wise points although I'm not so into the things have to be hard to enjoy them philosophy... To each his own and if you like things (like me) to come fast and easy (instant gratification) then thats what you like... I guess what I'm trying to say is... Dance with the devil but don't let him take you for a ride. Have fun and good luck...

Lots of really great comments and guidelines here from a bunch of very cool KVR dudes... Thanks. I'm getting a lot from this thread:)

... Oh! And I stopped smoking dope a few years ago... but when I listen to the music I was making then I think YEAH!!

I seem to have lost my passion for making music. How do I know if it's just a phase or permanent?