Grindstone - mix advice welcome

[1-2-Many]

OneToMany_NoseToTheGrindstone_wvocs

Nose To The Grindstone
Cm

V1
Father dad with his nose to the grindstone
for his debts he must atone
an escape away from home

Mother mom with her nose to the grindstone
means she can't be home
and her children grow up alone

PreCH
I feel so all alone
while you're strugglin with your day jobs
and I feel so frustrated
that all along there's really been nobody there
I feel so lost free range
and your abscence is making us estranged
And I live without your presence
that I need to give me direction

CH
Forsake your family
You've forsaken the ones you call your own
once passed on it's never returning
The fortune of your pathway
ah yes, we're bound to the rigor of
the choices we've made come days all told

BR
With creator for your role
You've made these lives
now all of them strangers
send each one off on their way
to face it on their own

With your head turned down you're prone
and bound to miss what's going on here
but you could change it all in time
and be someone we know

V2
What if God has his nose to the grindstone
Not idle on a throne
waiting for you to phone
What if God with his nose to the grindstone
doesn't hear you when you moan
or complain that you feel disowned


Repeat All from PreCH through BR

[Frantz]

Wow. Is that you doing all of it? Impressive! Very good song with a nice full arrangement.

The vocals are great. Reminds me a bit of the vocalist from the German synthpop band Camouflage.

Unfortunately, the mix is a bit of mess. Too many issues to attempt to cover in one post so I'll focus on the two things that jump out:

1. When you do the loud singing (first heard in the prechorus), your voice becomes a bit strident. I think you should bring the vocal level down and add some reverb to smooth it out.

2. The drums are not mixed well. The kick is inaudible. There is too much reverb on the hi hats which are also too loud. The snare is too low.

[1-2-Many]

Thanks Frantz - That's a good starting list

[seismic1]

This is a great song. You have a very good vocal range, and it seems to be in tune across that entire range. There was a lot of low-mid reverb swirl on the instrumental intro (0:10-0:35) which could be reined in a little. I was concerned that it could intrude on the "body" of the song, but that didn't happen, so is probably just down to my taste.

I could hear the kick, but maybe it could do with a little more "body". I thought the snare was ok, but maybe the hat was fighting the guitars for space in the mix.

Good work

[Frantz]

You have a very good vocal range, and it seems to be in tune across that entire range.

+1 Yes, exactly.

There was a lot of low-mid reverb swirl on the instrumental intro (0:10-0:35) which could be reined in a little.

+1 Yes, I didn't mention it because it was noticeable in the intro only.

[Zombie Queen]

Good song, with some 80's vibe, makes me think of Miami Vice series for some reason. The ending is a bit "time's up, we cut the power out", I think. Hats are loud, I agree. The kick is alright, but I think it is interfering with bass, maybe cut the bass a little?

[astrochimp]

a very good song and a great voice! thanks for sharing!