Your 'Not So Favorite' Gig Disasters...

[Ja.x]

Got Tickets to see Henry Rollins with my brother.

Before the show, we had a drink and another, and another ... When we arrived at the concert, we pushed our way through the crowd until we were standing right in the front of the stage.

Just then ... Henry turned to the crowd and said ... thank you and good night.

Yeah ... we missed the show.

That reminds me a concert of Clash in 1980/81, I think it was the Sandinista Tour. There were two opening acts, and a group of teenagers next to me were so excited of being in such an event that had brought alcohol, pills of god-knows-what, and some more of god-knows-what just in case. By the middle of the second act (Pearl Harbour & the Explosions) they were completely knocked out for a while. Only woke up (barely) when, show ended, the security staff had to explain them that it was time to go home .

[Ja.x]

But still about missing a concert, I have a better story. By the mid-90's my daughter (around 16) was a great fan of Primitive Reason, a Lisbon based ska-ish/reggae-ish band. Knowing that, and that they were having a concert in Portimão, I suggest my daughter to have a small tour to that town, and to bring along a friend, not telling her about the concert; so, as if just by chance we got close to the venue... when I heard my daughter: "Oh my god, Primitive Reason played here yesterday!!" and I felt something between ashamed and destroyed .
OK, so I needed to do something about it, and next year they were playing again in some festival organized by the students of a university I was lecturing at by then. So, again, I told my daughter "why don't we go, just to see what's happening there?". She wasn't feeling much into it but agreed. When we got close to the concert's venue (a big tent), the first known person I met was a student of mine: "Hey, sir, you came today!!! If you had come YESTERDAY you could have Primitive Reason in concert..." .

Many years later she let me know that at last she had got to see them in concert .

So, Primitive Reason were these guys:

[robogone]

That reminds me a concert of Clash in 1980/81, I think it was the Sandinista Tour. There were two opening acts, and a group of teenagers next to me were so excited of being in such an event that had brought alcohol, pills of god-knows-what, and some more of god-knows-what just in case. By the middle of the second act (Pearl Harbour & the Explosions) they were completely knocked out for a while. Only woke up (barely) when, show ended, the security staff had to explain them that it was time to go home

Not quite the same, but I saw the Jam in I think in 82 where I also bumped into an old friend I hadn't seen for a year or two. He was asking if I knew anyone who had any speed and seemed a bit on edge. Anyway, told him I'd catch him after the gig outside, and didn't think anything more of it until the Jam came on stage and at exactly that time I saw about half a dozen bouncers carrying him out kicking and screaming. I never did find out what had happened and never saw him again. The Jam were great, but obviously wasn't a good gig for him...

[funky lime]

I was playing my first solo gig ever, had my laptop/keyboard/guitar/mixer all set up so i stepped out for a smoke. while i was outside, someone got it in their mind that they wanted to "DJ" so they hooked up their laptop's iTunes to my mixer and totally f**ked the gain staging, and in the 5 minutes i was outside they managed to blow the speakers at the venue (this was a yoga/art studio kinda thing).

so after getting a real chewing out from the owner (who was supposed to be one of those love-and-peace, namaste kind of guys with dreadlocks and whatnot), i finally convince him that i was not the one responsible.

the "dj" guy gets it in his head that he can remedy the situation by bringing in some speakers from his house around the corner. ten minutes later he shows back up with three boom-boxes. like... tiny, crappy ones at that. so i proceed to ghetto-rig some amps and whatnot into a makeshift speaker system, and start my set.

after my first song which was kind of a several-minute dub/reggae jam, i segue into a quiet bit that was supposed to build back up, to create some dynamics and tension-release. well, "DJ" couldn't handle the one minute of ambient synth stuff, and started yelling from the crowd: "DO SOMETHING! YOU'RE LOSING EVERYONE!"

so i ignore him. then he comes up to me on stage and gets in my face and he's like "don't you hear me?! you need to DO SOMETHING! this isn't working AT ALL!"

so i'm like "whatever dude get out of my face please."

so he goes to the back of the room, and proceeds to plug in and turn on all three of the boomboxes that he brought, tuning them all to different radio stations and cranking the volume. he then starts dancing and yelling "YEAH that's more like it!"

so my friends go forcibly unplug this guys stuff and tell him to GTFO, and I continue my set, only to find out that the lunatic had unplugged my laptop from the wall while i was outside in order to plug his in (when he was "DJing" before my set). my old computer at the time had a bad battery and could only hold a few minutes of charge. so, after dealing with an angry owner and a lunatic in the audience who ruined my night, my computer powers down mid-song, about 10 minutes into my show.

red-faced, i just slammed my laptop shut, packed my stuff without a single word to anyone, went outside and proceeded to chain-smoke nearly a whole pack of cigs.

that was five years ago, and I still haven't played a solo show since then.

[funky lime]

one of the bands i'm in played a show not too long ago with 4 other bands. the doorman dipped out at some point in the night with all the door money.

when we asked the bar staff about it, they were like "well let's see your contract. oh wait, you don't have one. too bad!"

lesson: if money is involved, get it in writing.


another one... years ago we went to toronto to play a pretty big (for us) gig. we were traveling on a budget, so our gear was pretty minimal. we had made arrangements beforehand with the club, and they said "yeah we have a really nice drum kit you guys can use!"

of course, stupid me had to learn the hard way that when a club promises you a drum kit, sometimes that doesn't include hardware (pedals/stands) or cymbals or a snare drum.

so i had to lie the kick drum on its side and tie a sock around a drumstick, and play the whole gig as though i was playing timpanis or something like that... just a bass drum and three toms.

lesson: even if they say they have you covered, they probably don't.


another one:

we used to play in this really hardcore noise-rock band. my brother, the guitarist, tended to get very intense in his playing. one show, he literally snapped his guitar in half about 30 seconds into the first song. i don't know how he did it, but damn... that's just how we liked to rock i guess.

of course, none of the other guitarists from the other bands were jumping at the chance to lend him a guitar to finish out the set.

lesson: bring a backup.