may contest - GOSSIP

[clueless]

jens / torpedo - a simple magic

I like the skittering beats and the sound fx. Some nice guitar work, too. It's an unusual backdrop for a song and that's what stands out. The vocal , I'm sorry to say, I find flat and out of tune far too often.

Thanks Scuzzphut

Could you please describe a bit what you mean by flat? - what could she do better?
(- She's probably following this thread so it could help to improve her performance)

I don't hear the vocals being out of tune anywhere - do you mean in the verse(s) or in the chorus (or maybe on both)?

I myself am unsure if I really like every word of the verses (could be my plain stoopid lyrics though) but I totally dig the chorus-vox

It's not that she's flat so much as she takes her time getting to the right note, and seems to sing in a sort of slightly lazy glissando style - I think her voice is fine, but a little more precision would work wonders.

try to get her to sing more like a piano than a theremin, if you see what I mean...

[scuzzphut]

jens / torpedo - a simple magic

I like the skittering beats and the sound fx. Some nice guitar work, too. It's an unusual backdrop for a song and that's what stands out. The vocal , I'm sorry to say, I find flat and out of tune far too often.

Thanks Scuzzphut

Could you please describe a bit what you mean by flat? - what could she do better?
(- She's probably following this thread so it could help to improve her performance)

I don't hear the vocals being out of tune anywhere - do you mean in the verse(s) or in the chorus (or maybe on both)?

I myself am unsure if I really like every word of the verses (could be my plain stoopid lyrics though) but I totally dig the chorus-vox

OK Jens, I'll try.

The vocal volume, varies very little. It sounds like it's being delivered without much in the way of emotion. This lack of "variation" is what I mean by "flat".

Where it sounds off-key to me.....

If I have been full of
melancholy like yesterday
if I felt sad about all those bad things in life.


I am sure that the "flatness" is caused by nerves and being unused to the studio environment.

If she could let herself rip , that would cure it definitely.

As for the off-key bits - just do more takes




Now I feel like a complete shit

sorry

(I also have a suspicion that it's just me and that there will be several posts by others saying how great the vocal is ....)

[rsmus7]

rsmus7 - gitanero

Another unusual musical piece. The crunch guitars and heavy synths create a soundscape you don't often hear. A real wall of sound feel is achieved.

The drums are a bit "plodding" - no syncopation , which is the downside.

Thanks scuzzphut,
you´re right with the drums, I don´t even know what the meaning of syncopation (not literally)is ( if you would like to explain, I would appreciate it. And the drum programming is the hardest part for me. As you might remember from all my entries I´m weak a the rythm side and still a bloody beginner.


Anyway.... the day will come.

[clueless]

Torpedo (Jens) - I enjoyed the voice, but the mixc made it sound a little distant from the backing a little - karaoke-style, if you will.
The backing is cool, but because of the mix, seems a little too incidental.

Thanks for the hint, Miro - I wanted to mix the vocals really loud this time - it was probably a bit too much

I've turned them down a few db now and added a bit more reverb.

but karaoke-style?

karaoke as in the vocals sound like they've been "plonked" on top of a backing track rather than being part of the whole. Another thing that might help the vocals is a bit more dynamic variation. They seem to maintain a similar level and tone regardless of the lyrics or song structure, there are no highs and lows.

Scuzzphut - "flat" just got what you meant

[scuzzphut]

It's not that she's flat so much as she takes her time getting to the right note, and seems to sing in a sort of slightly lazy glissando style - I think her voice is fine, but a little more precision would work wonders.

try to get her to sing more like a piano than a theremin, if you see what I mean...

that was what I meant to say

[scuzzphut]

I don´t even know what the meaning of syncopation (not literally)is ( if you would like to explain, I would appreciate it. A

this article does a much better job than I could

More generally, your beats this month were almost entirely built around 1/8ths and throwing in the odd 16th on the snare or even a 16th roll on the hats every now and again is a nice way to add variation and add a more syncopated feel.

[jens]

Jens – A very basic tune at first, but another one that is growing on me the more I listen to it. A rather cool arrangement and I can hear how the girl’s vox is growing into the tunes more. This rather punkish track with the tempered and great sounding guitars and those synth FX works great. I think the timing and production of the vox could be improved, but with that said I have so little experience in vox treatment that I can’t say how to improve it. It feels a bit sloppy and lacking a bit passion in places. Perhaps its the choice of more punky music, I think she has a great voice for more triphop kind of music.

It makes her sad that she apparently only manages
to impress while singing ballads - not me

Punk?



- I think I know what you mean - it's really very basic (not really simple, but it pretends to be)- I wrote the tune as an absolute and total counterpart to this one - between these two tracks fits everything that TorpedoTorpedo is about

Thanks Mystahr

[jens]

thanks guys - I think your explanation will really help a lot

Don't feel bad Scuzzphut - really - please don't - constructive criticism helps more that any praise - and yours - and Clueless' as well - was VERY constructive

thanks again, mates

[scuzzphut]

<----------------- faith in the world restored. can now go and watch crappy Saturday night TV with Mrs Scuzzphut.

[Kajiki]

Thanks wilkoryte, scuzzphut, Freeztar, Miro, Wopelka, and visa tapani. It's very nice of you to take time to write the feedback.

Wopelka--Yeah, it's not a real piano, but your intepretation was right on. I wrote it and practiced a bit with a real piano, and then record it to a sequencer with a MIDI piano with all the effect present. So I did not "mix" the recording afterwards. I'm glad you though it was a real performace by a not-so-good pianist because that was what I wanted to express in the recording--unpretentious & real feelings I have for her.

Thanks again. I'll try to write you feedbacks, too (next week hopefully).

[jens]

Where it sounds off-key to me.....

If I have been full of
melancholy like yesterday
if I felt sad about all those bad things in life.

As for the off-key bits - just do more takes

I am not sure - I listened again and I believe
that what you interpret as off-key she interprets as blue-notes.

I must say I haven't experienced something as with here before: If I let her sing the same part ten times all ten takes are basically identical rhythm- and tonewise. (so choir-recordings are a breeze with her (unlike all other vocalists I worked with before))

I will ask her and check it with her, but I
think the notes you refer to (and I hear what you mean) are the exact notes she wanted to sing.


Let me add this one:

[pheeleep]

Hey guys, do we only get to vote for one song? Or for several in the order of preference? It's already going to be a hard choice, and I still have more entries to listen to

PS: Thanks for the additional feedback Visa!

[Sepheritoh]

Sepheritoh
Nicely surprising. Can’t predict what will come in the next second. Ambient textures are perhaps too overwhelming. Nice guitars sounds.

Thanks. Glad you could find something interesting there.

[jens]

hi Pheeleep: You vote for five tracks:

Your vote #1 gets five points
Your vote #2 gets four points
Your vote #3 gets three points
Your vote #4 gets two points
Your vote #5 gets one points

So you vote like this:

1.: TorpedoTorpedo
2.: .....

etc.











(I hope no-one takes my little joke the wrong way )

[clueless]

<----------------- faith in the world restored. can now go and watch crappy Saturday night TV with Mrs Scuzzphut.

yeah, I thought that went quite well, Scuzzphut.

Phew!