Let's spread some musical misinformation

[camsr]

And the worst synth ever made was that one that had a man's butthole for a background.
God forbid the day we have a synth where one tweaks a woman's nipples.

[mutantdog]

It's vitally important that all synths come with a preset that sounds like New Order's Confusion.

[garryknight]

Synths don't need factory presets.

[DSmolken]

And the worst synth ever made was that one that had a man's butthole for a background.
God forbid the day we have a synth where one tweaks a woman's nipples.

The one with nipple controls was not a synth, it was a delay effect.

[Z3R0T0N1N]

under the terms of the original contract, pop has till the end of this year to eat itself

Baahahahah! Ok, this thread has been gold so far, but this one almost made me spit-take my cafe latte.

and edm has till the end of the week to go f**k itself

[Nightpolymath]

Kanye West is the greatest musician of all time.

I don't understand. I thought this thread was about musical misinformation.

[Nightpolymath]

And the worst synth ever made was that one that had a man's butthole for a background.

I believe that synth has been emulated in VST form and is called Sphincter1.

[e@rs]

The guys at Access are having a hard time trying to emulate Sylenth1. That's the reason we didn't see a new Virus in such a long time.

[DSmolken]

The Knights Who Said Ni were actually saying NI with a capital I, which is short for Native Instruments. They'd just bought Komplete and were very happy about it.

[cryophonik]

The Knights Who Said Ni were actually saying NI with a capital I, which is short for Native Instruments. They'd just bought Komplete and were very happy about it.

Augh! Ohh! Don't Say That Word!!! Suffice to say is one of the words the Knights of NI cannot hear.

[Hardock]

Frank Zappa used to grow moustache's for Freddie Mercury ...

[Hardock]

Here at KVR you will always get musical information without off-topic side discussions and flamings.

off-topic:
If you mulitply this tread by (-1), you get the ultimate encyclopedia of musical truth.

[trimph1]

GLOSSARY OF MUSICAL INVECTIVE

Accidental - 1. A sharp or flat notated within the body of the written music which is not part of the key signature. 2. A sharp or flat not notated within the body of the written music typically played by someone in the viola section. 3. Son or daughter of the conductor.

Chorale - Fenced-in area in a church reserved for people who spontaneously break out into song during a service.

Choral Director - Person responsible for getting people in the Chorale (see above) to stop singing, usually accomplished by wild hand gestures but not always.

Concerto Grosso - A concerto written for accordion and orchestra.

Major - When the viola section is more than 3 measures ahead of or behind the rest of the orchestra.

Minor - 1. When the viola section is less than 3 measures ahead of or behind the rest of the orchestra. 2. Age group of the girl living with the conductor.

Natural - 1. A note neither flat nor sharp. 2. A note that cannot be produced by
a coloratura soprano.

Opus - 1. A single musical piece or set of pieces usually designated by a number. 2. Exclamation made when noticing that a cut has become infected.

Ricercar - Japanese automobile.

Ritard. - 1. Abbr. for ritardando. 2. Syn. for viola, first chair.

Sforzando - Sound made by members of the percussion section by cupping right hand under left armpit and moving left elbow up and down

Slur - 1. An arc placed above or below a group of notes calling for legato playing. 2. A comment made in private by a member of the orchestra concerning the conductor.

Tutti - Fiat horn sound.

Obligato - being forced to practice.

Con Moto - yeah baby, I have a car.

Allegro - a little car.

Metronome - short, city musician who can fit into a Honda Civic.

Lento - the days leading up to Easter.

Largo - beer brewed in Germany or the Florida Keys.

Piu Animato - clean out the cat's litter box.

Con Spirito - drunk again.

Colla Voce - this shirt is so tight I can't sing.

Improvisation - what you do when the music falls down.

Prelude - warm-up before the clever stuff.

Flats - English apartments.

Chords - things organists play with one finger.

Discords - thing that organists play with two fingers.

Suspended Chords - useful for lynching the vocalist.

Time Signatures - things for drummers to ignore.

Melody - an ancient, now almost extinct art in songwriting.

Klavierstuck - A term used by German furniture movers attempting to get a piano through a narrow doorway.

Music Stand - An intricate device used to hold music. Comes in two sizes - too high or too low - always broken.

Tonic - A medicinal drink consumed in great quantity before a performance and in greater quantity afterwards.

Dominant - What parents must be if they expect their children to practice.

Concert Hall - A place where large audiences gather for the sole purpose of coughing and removing paper wrappings from candy and gum.

Sotto Voce - singing while drunk.

Agogic - playing high enough on an oboe to make the eyes bulge.

Cadenza - slapping noise on office furniture.

Fandango - grabbing the pull chain on the ceiling fan.

Prima Volta - jump start with a battery.

Refrain - proper technique for playing bagpipes.

Smorzando - with melted chocolate and marshmallow

[DSmolken]

Here at KVR you will always get musical information without off-topic side discussions and flamings.

The best sources of musical information have always been full off off-topic footnotes - see Arnold Schoenberg's Harmonielehre for the greatest example of all time.

Also...

[garryknight]

House music is so-called because it was invented in a house. Country music was invented in a country. Rap music was invented at a seance. Blues was invented in a dye factory. Pop was invented by a weasel.