KVR Audio

Steve Newton · Post by **Steve Newton** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 8:15 pm

Just bought a Chinese made 1 Gigabyte MP3 player off ebay. Here's the most mind bending passage in the manual...

This machine packs into the battery the each openning the confidential waiting for for the first time 10 second, need the machine from measure to complete to grow to press to open the machine key the square can show, the inconvenient place begs your pardon.

My brain hurts.

Sicklecell666 · Post by **Sicklecell666** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 8:17 pm

the inconvenient place begs your pardon.

Stupid American Pig · Post by **Stupid American Pig** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 8:20 pm

What, like the backseat of a volkswagen?

for those who are slow that is a Mallrats reference...

Derek up North · Post by **Derek up North** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 8:27 pm

Steve Newton wrote:Just bought a Chinese made 1 Gigabyte MP3 player off ebay. Here's the most mind bending passage in the manual...

This machine packs into the battery the each openning the confidential waiting for for the first time 10 second, need the machine from measure to complete to grow to press to open the machine key the square can show, the inconvenient place begs your pardon.

My brain hurts.

I think you've misread it. Those aren't the instructions, they're the lyrics to the demo song it comes preloaded with.

All together on the chorus:

"Need the machine
From measure to complete
To grow
To press
To open"

I can hear it now...

Regards,

Derek.

Kriminal · Post by **Kriminal** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 8:30 pm

You have to wait 10 seconds from turning it on to hearing the music?

waiting man · Post by **waiting man** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 8:46 pm

Steve Newton wrote:to complete to grow to press to open

wtf? what kind of action it is?

seriously...price? picture?

Steve Newton · Post by **Steve Newton** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:01 pm

waiting man wrote:
Steve Newton wrote:to complete to grow to press to open
wtf? what kind of action it is?

seriously...price? picture?

Same machine and same seller on ebay -
http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll? ... 5767062736

Mine was £45 with the shipping. My 128Meg Intel one cost me £135 2 years ago.

Steve Newton · Post by **Steve Newton** » Tue Apr 12, 2005 9:04 pm

Kriminal wrote:You have to wait 10 seconds from turning it on to hearing the music?

10 seconds is stretching the truth a bit. It seems to take less time than my old Intel Pocket Concert to boot up. And as with that I take that boot time to stick the plugs in my ears.

ChrisE · Post by **ChrisE** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 3:34 pm

Kriminal wrote:You have to wait 10 seconds from turning it on to hearing the music?

Ever bought a Sony minidisc recorder, Krim ? ? ? ? ?

Landphil · Post by **Landphil** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 4:03 pm

Engrish.com

Steve Newton · Post by **Steve Newton** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 4:18 pm

I printed this one out and blutacked it to the health and safety boards at work...

http://www.engrish.com/detail.php?image ... 2002-10-22

Timfonie · Post by **Timfonie** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 4:30 pm

Want to become rich? Learn Kantonese or Mandarin and start your own professional translation business!

Funkybot · Post by **Funkybot** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 4:39 pm

S_A_P, funniest thing I've read on KVR in a long time.

zuki · Post by **zuki** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 4:41 pm

All your Base are belong to us!
Move Zig around for great justice!

Meffy · Post by **Meffy** » Wed Apr 13, 2005 4:44 pm

Many small, decorative tins of "gift" tea from China bear instructions on...

HOW TO MAKE A REALLY CUP OF FINE TEA

Once while unpacking a photocopier for setup, I found a single swab -- a little paper stick with bits of cotton on the ends -- packed in a tiny plastic bag, stapled shut, with an instruction sheet in four, maybe five languages. The text was boring, "for clean corona wire" or something like that. But just the fact of the existence of multilingual directions for one cotton swab, plus two pieces of packaging... that, like, totally blew my mind.

Chinese made consumer product manual madness.