official KVR plugin assessment form

[whyterabbyt]

The management have asked me to look into providing a means for optimising the kind of feedback KVR members typically offer when a new plugin has been released. After a lot of consultation with them, leading developers, and other industry figures, it has been decided to release the following multiple-choice form, which allows the typical KVR member to succinctly report their responses to a new plugin.
Hopefully this will allow developers a better chance to properly analyse your feedback, and direct their future endeavours more suitably.
In future, would all members please refrain from lengthier discussions of the specifics of released plugins until all forms have been processed. Thank you.




Price
( ) Its too expensive. If it was a third of the price, you'd sell ten times more. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) Its shareware. Why dont you make it free? Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) Its free. Why the hell dont you open source it? Your plugin sucks, and I wont use it.
( ) Its too cheap. If it was any good, the price would reflect that. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

Discounts
( ) You dont do a discount for students/unemployed/folk like me. Thats discriminatory. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) You do a discount for students/unemployed/folk that aren't me. Thats discriminatory. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

Coding
( ) Its made with Synthedit or Synthmaker or something like that. If you knew what you were doing, you'd do it properly with C++ or something. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) Its made in C++. If you knew what you were doing, you'd do it properly in hand-optimised assembly code. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) Its written in assembly code. If you knew what you were doing, you'd implement it on a proper DSP and sell it as hardware. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) Its not proper analog hardware. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

Platform
( ) No PC version? Elitist. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) No Mac version? Hater. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) No Linux version? Capitalist. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) No ProTools HD version? Amateur. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) Not hardware? Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

Features
( ) It doesnt have enough features; its far too simple to get decent sounds out of. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It has too many features and its far too complex to be able to get decent sounds out of . Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It would have just the right balance of features if you add this list of things I want, and do it right away. If not your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) You recently added all these new features. That's just bloat. Your plugin sucks now, and I wont buy it.

Sample Handling
( ) It doesnt let me use my own samples. Thats too limiting. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It lets me use my own samples, but they have to be specific file type. Thats too awkward. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It lets me use my own samples, but I already have a sampler. I dont need the redundancy. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

Skinning
( ) It doesnt have skinning support. I want to customise my plugins. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It has skinning support. Why should I waste my time making a decent skin when you should have done that in the first place. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

Emulation
( ) It is an emulation of something specific, but it sounds nothing like the original. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It is an emulation of something specific, and sounds like the original. But the original is better.Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It resembles a given piece of hardware, but is not an emulation. That's dishonest. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it
( ) It is not an emulation. Why couldn't you have copied real hardware instead. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

GUI
( ) It looks identical to real hardware. Why couldn't you be more original? Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It looks like real hardware. Why ? Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It doesnt look like real hardware. Why did you have to reinvent the wheel? Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

Presets (quantity)
( ) It doesnt have enough presets. I dont see why I should have to learn to use it to get the sounds I want.Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It has too many presets, when I always make my own. Its just bloat. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It has the right number of presets, but I dont like most of them. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

Presets (type)
( ) The presets are just right for my style of music. I'll sound like everyone else who has it. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) The presets are totally wrong for my style of music. Why can't you cater for that style properly. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) The presets are fine for all styles of music. Why are they so generic? Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

Presets (designers)
( ) The presets are no good. You should have got 'name' patch designers to do them instead. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) The presets are no good. You got 'name' patch designers to do them, which just adds to the cost. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) The presets are no good. If you give me a copy for free, I'll make much better ones for you. If not, your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

Documentation
( ) The manual is just a reference guide. I don't want to read that, I just want a tutorial. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) The manual is just a tutorial. Dont patronise me, I just want a reference. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) The manual has a reference and a tutorial; its far too big. Why dont you provide it all as videos? Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) The manual is all online . I wanted a paper manual I can read on the train. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.


Copy Protection
( ) It uses a dongle. Dongles kill children and cause cancer. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It uses challenge/response codes. Im never putting my computer online. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It uses a simple serial number. Thats too much typing for me. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.
( ) It has no copy protection. Why should I pay for it when no-one else will? Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

[Vonbrucken]

You have forgot to mention that this plugin had flaws but I figured it out !!!

Otherwise cool and funny list !

[duncanparsons]

Your proforma sucks, and I won't use it

[biomechanoid]

[Chuck E. Jesus]

what's a "plugin" ?

[Aloysius]

Why did you use a yellow font? If you knew what you were doing you'd have consulted with the end user (the person you expect to read it) first. This is a disgrace and an outrage and a disgrace.

[sockofgold]

Yep. Looks about right.

[TristezaOrange]

[Meffy]

Why did you use a yellow font?

lrn2css

(Thread is skinnable, which is disruptive so I won't buy it.)

[WOK]

Compatibility
( ) It crashes my chinese Reaculogfinstudtracker host when I disconnect my Fibujitsu XL5000 USB-Soundcard and insert the top of design interface Behrulogpowerman Firewire 97 bit instead. If you knew what you were doing you'd have tested it with every possible configuration on the market. Your plugin sucks, and I wont buy it.

[buscemi]

Your form doesn't cover the ever-important subjects of license transfer and demo versions. I won't fill it out without that.

[RunBeerRun]

It would be more fun if kvr was more objective and rude. Everybody's a bunch of yes men.

[Chuck E. Jesus]

from another forum:

Great plugs! But man are they ugly!

[standalone]

from another forum:

Great plugs! But man are they ugly!

I won't buy them .

[ew]

+10

ew