Somebody needs a rabbitTimbre wrote:companies should really stop announcing their products as being "ultimate" or "never seen before" or anything in that vein. Because no product lives up to that.
New IK teaser
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- KVRAF
- 2674 posts since 18 Mar, 2006 from The Void
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- KVRAF
- 1676 posts since 17 Dec, 2002 from Yorkshire
Few ideas:
1. Creat-E VST/AU Plugin & Standalone version.
Two knobs. One for style/genre selection. Second for the Top10 Chart list position [1-10]. Generates instantly a track with: lyrics, vocals, music, mix & master. Triggered by Play button on any DAW.
2. The Hand L and/or R Electric/Flamenco/Classic Editions (hardware) - an artificial motorized left/right hand for playing fast or complicated riffs on electric/classical guitar. USB or battery powered. Manufactured in 3 different colours. Right and left hands are sold separately.
3. Boos-T - a stimulation drink recommended for talentless and uncreative people while composing/performing. Note: regular consumption does not guarntee permanent results.
4. I G E Playboy Edition (Ideal Girlfriend Emulator) - hardware
Key features:
- emulation based on the superior female specimens,
- plug and play, no additional drivers required,
- manufactured in 4 different sizes with pick and match color of particular elements (hair, eyes, skin etc.) selection,
- fine finish
- the highest quality materials,
- hand made,
- bio-powered,
- "mute" and "do not disturb" modes incl. in the basic package,
- upgradable firmware,
- customisable character settings via Win/Mac based application,
- WiFi, Bluetooth, GPRS and ADSL connectivity,
- low maintenance costs due to implementation of groundbreaking technology $elfEarn,
- can play two instruments, can sing, can dance,
- supports beer consumption, group intimate getherings activities and your hobbies
- supports IKM X-change preset system.
Users of WIFE hardware please note that its OS conflicts with any IGE system (no compatibility has been achieved). Use them both at your own risk.
1. Creat-E VST/AU Plugin & Standalone version.
Two knobs. One for style/genre selection. Second for the Top10 Chart list position [1-10]. Generates instantly a track with: lyrics, vocals, music, mix & master. Triggered by Play button on any DAW.
2. The Hand L and/or R Electric/Flamenco/Classic Editions (hardware) - an artificial motorized left/right hand for playing fast or complicated riffs on electric/classical guitar. USB or battery powered. Manufactured in 3 different colours. Right and left hands are sold separately.
3. Boos-T - a stimulation drink recommended for talentless and uncreative people while composing/performing. Note: regular consumption does not guarntee permanent results.
4. I G E Playboy Edition (Ideal Girlfriend Emulator) - hardware
Key features:
- emulation based on the superior female specimens,
- plug and play, no additional drivers required,
- manufactured in 4 different sizes with pick and match color of particular elements (hair, eyes, skin etc.) selection,
- fine finish
- the highest quality materials,
- hand made,
- bio-powered,
- "mute" and "do not disturb" modes incl. in the basic package,
- upgradable firmware,
- customisable character settings via Win/Mac based application,
- WiFi, Bluetooth, GPRS and ADSL connectivity,
- low maintenance costs due to implementation of groundbreaking technology $elfEarn,
- can play two instruments, can sing, can dance,
- supports beer consumption, group intimate getherings activities and your hobbies
- supports IKM X-change preset system.
Users of WIFE hardware please note that its OS conflicts with any IGE system (no compatibility has been achieved). Use them both at your own risk.
Last edited by bronxsound on Fri Aug 07, 2009 2:13 pm, edited 9 times in total.
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- KVRian
- 1166 posts since 24 Jul, 2008 from England
I guess it's a mixing environment. In particularly an emulation of a neve console, with authentic coloration and painstakingly close modelling. 
audiosabre
audiosabre
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- KVRer
- 17 posts since 1 Apr, 2009
Now that would be something (memo to myself: don't let wife read this thread). But let's be honest here for a second: what would be the REAL huge innovation, that I would have called an impossible development task?! Right! The build in (not spectacular) and WORKING GPRS in such an otherwise very reliable and wonderful unit.bronxsound wrote:Few ideas:
4. I G E (Ideal Girlfriend Emulator) - hardware
Key features:
- manufactured in 4 different sizes with pick and match color of particular elements (hair, eyes, skin etc.) selection,
- fine finish and the highest quality materials,
- hand made,
- bio-powered,
- "mute" and "do not disturb" modes incl. in the basic package,
- upgradable firmware,
- customisable character settings via Win/Mac based application,
- WiFi, Bluetooth, GPRS and ADSL connectivity,
- low maintenance costs due to implementation of groundbreaking technology $elfEarn,
- can play two instruments, can sing, can dance,
- handles beer and group intimate getherings activities and supports your hobbies.
Besides, I guess there would be bug reports from the start, stating that the Bluetooth feature doesn't stop sending and only features a well hidden "on/off" button. 
(urgend memo to myself: propose holiday for 2 weeks to ensure she is never gonna read this... or if she does... learn to cook!)
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- KVRAF
- 1676 posts since 17 Dec, 2002 from Yorkshire
Personally I think $elfEarn feature is the coolest one. If tweaked smartly (potentially hacking would be involved) it could become an additional source of income for the end user
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Andrew Bach IK Andrew Bach IK https://www.kvraudio.com/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=193556
- KVRist
- 100 posts since 13 Nov, 2008
Computer technology has come far, but not THAT far......bronxsound wrote:Few ideas:
4. I G E (Ideal Girlfriend Emulator) - hardware
Key features:
- manufactured in 4 different sizes with pick and match color of particular elements (hair, eyes, skin etc.) selection,
- fine finish and the highest quality materials,
- hand made,
- bio-powered,
- "mute" and "do not disturb" modes incl. in the basic package,
- upgradable firmware,
- customisable character settings via Win/Mac based application,
- WiFi, Bluetooth, GPRS and ADSL connectivity,
- low maintenance costs due to implementation of groundbreaking technology $elfEarn,
- can play two instruments, can sing, can dance,
- handles beer and group intimate getherings activities and supports your hobbies.
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- KVRAF
- 1676 posts since 17 Dec, 2002 from Yorkshire
Andrew said the new thing will be shocking. And the teaser says something of "redefining". IGE anywhere and for everyone (sorry WIFE users 
)...
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fanfarecircuit fanfarecircuit https://www.kvraudio.com/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=112128
- Banned
- 1303 posts since 3 Jul, 2006
perhaps a partnership with goldman sachs and a high frequency trading program that spits out musak?
seems up their alley.
seems up their alley.
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- KVRist
- 460 posts since 28 Jan, 2003
lol! or spits out money.fanfarecircuit wrote:perhaps a partnership with goldman sachs and a high frequency trading program that spits out musak?
seems up their alley.
Speaking of money, I'd bet a dollar it's something a bit like Kore that conveniently integrates all the IKM stuff. Something that tempts you to buy additional IKM products.
I realize several others predicted this already. I'm just agreeing.
Cap'n Spanky
From the Planet Screwball
From the Planet Screwball
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fanfarecircuit fanfarecircuit https://www.kvraudio.com/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=112128
- Banned
- 1303 posts since 3 Jul, 2006
damn... even i'd buy that.audiosabre wrote:I guess it's a mixing environment. In particularly an emulation of a neve console, with authentic coloration and painstakingly close modelling.
audiosabre
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Funksploitation Funksploitation https://www.kvraudio.com/forum/memberlist.php?mode=viewprofile&u=211249
- KVRist
- 49 posts since 13 Jul, 2009
Uhh...couldn't we just make it Amplitube Orange? Best idea so far.
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- KVRAF
- 1676 posts since 17 Dec, 2002 from Yorkshire
Another bet of mine.
True emulation of the units (incl. digitally modeled springs and wooden case) shown below:
and
Combined together: 2x decks + 1x mixer result in not "ME TOO" new hot product:
IK Multimedia VINTAGE DJ
On top of that the software comes with hardware controller:
PLUS...
10% discount for hair styling (as shown at the photo with mixer above) @ Toni & Guy
Am I close?
True emulation of the units (incl. digitally modeled springs and wooden case) shown below:
and
Combined together: 2x decks + 1x mixer result in not "ME TOO" new hot product:
IK Multimedia VINTAGE DJ
On top of that the software comes with hardware controller:
PLUS...
10% discount for hair styling (as shown at the photo with mixer above) @ Toni & Guy
Am I close?
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- KVRAF
- Topic Starter
- 4071 posts since 4 Mar, 2008 from Near Pittsburgh
Hey thanks!Funksploitation wrote:Uhh...couldn't we just make it Amplitube Orange? Best idea so far.
I'm not the first to suggest it to them and not the only one who hounds them about it so I hope we get some Orange models someday.