KVR Audio

debra1rlo · Post by **debra1rlo** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 5:24 pm

[neil diamond]

i am, bitwig said
to no one able
and no else could hear
not even the table

did you ever hear the one about the host
that wanted to be released
and then it was...

OzWozEre · Post by **OzWozEre** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 6:56 pm

deastman wrote:Dear Bitwig,

Make your DAW powerful, like a mighty stallion bracing against the wind as it hurtles ever onwards into the future. Drench it in the scent of young love, spread out beneath a grove of tangerines one lazy summer afternoon. Polish it until it gleams like the purest diamond, refracting every color of our sonic dreams. Bestow upon it the charm, grace, and innocence of Hello Kitty. Make it as solid as the living rock of Stonehenge. Cast its brilliant light out into the universe, that others might know we once existed. Season it to perfection, as succulent and irresistible as a Hostess Twinkie. Adorn it with more bells and whistles than a Christmas tree at FAO Schwarz on 5th Avenue. Oh, and you could you make it $50? kthxby

You sir, are a f**king poet

Now tell them to NOT call this thing "Bitwig"

rod_zero · Post by **rod_zero** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 7:21 pm

No matter what people will always find something to complain about.

debra1rlo · Post by **debra1rlo** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 7:44 pm

[shirley bassey]

bit-wigger!
it's the host that you'd love to touch!
but you mustn't touch!

it's name... burrows into your ear

with a quality difference you can hear

but this difference
can't be heard by everyone...

Crackbaby · Post by **Crackbaby** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 7:50 pm

rod_zero wrote:No matter what people will always find something to complain about.

Which you just proved

VariKusBrainZ · Post by **VariKusBrainZ** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 7:57 pm

Sounds a bit like the OP wants Ableton Live

robogone · Post by **robogone** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 8:21 pm

debra1rlo wrote:[shirley bassey]

bit-wigger!
it's the host that you'd love to touch!
but you mustn't touch!

it's name... burrows into your ear
with a quality difference you can hear
but this difference
can't be heard by everyone...

OzWozEre · Post by **OzWozEre** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 8:44 pm

[N.W.A]

Straight outta Computing
Crazy muthafucka named Ice Cube
With a DAW called Wiggers With Attitude

...

[/N.W.A]

debra1rlo · Post by **debra1rlo** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 10:16 pm

[paul simon]

The problem is all inside Ableton
She said to me
The answer is easy and no
Logic for PC
I'd like to help you but there's no
good host for free
It must be 50 dollars
for the Bitwig

So just lose the Cubase, Ace
and drop the Logic, Vic
no more Studio One, hun
just listen to me

step away from the Podium, chum
Reaper? well that's just dumb!
dont count on Numerology
just plunk down your fifty

lockheart · Post by **lockheart** » Mon Mar 04, 2013 11:57 pm

Dear Bitwig:

I are not smart enough to know why posters fill threads about your product with pictures of cats, but I are smart enough to know that I ain't got time to finger it out or find out about your stuff because it is like, totally weird and a little confusing.

debra1rlo · Post by **debra1rlo** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:18 am

[in the style of Elton John but not necessarily singing

)

Justified when I was ten
Raising cain with my frying pan

I joined The Others on KVR
cuz I'm a meanie whose jokes go too far, oh-oh-ohhhh!

I'm a bitch
I'm a bitch

oh, the bitwig's back
only 50 bucks
as a matter of fact

and I know about Bitwig
cuz I'm better than you

all those NAMMs that I've cruised
the devs that I've screwed,
woah-oh-ohhhh!

lotus2035 · Post by **lotus2035** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:21 am

giwtiB kcuF

fedexnman · Post by **fedexnman** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:22 am

debra1rlo wrote:[in the style of Elton John but not necessarily singing)

Justified when I was ten
Raising cain with my frying pan
I joined The Others on KVR
cuz I'm a meanie whose jokes go too far, oh-oh-ohhhh!

I'm a bitch
I'm a bitch
oh, the bitwig's back
only 50 bucks
as a matter of fact

and I know about Bitwig
cuz I'm better than you
all those NAMMs that I've cruised
the devs that I've screwed,
woah-oh-ohhhh!

Im a rocket mann mamannnn , Im an Able tannn ..

egbert · Post by **egbert** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 5:16 am

dsan@mail.com wrote:That USB to feline connector is barbed and very difficult to extract once mating has completed.

A woman I know had her young male cat return home in a state of obvious distress and bleeding from his nether regions. She took him to the vet. The vet removed an example of the aforementioned barbed protuberance from his rectum.

The whereabouts of its erstwhile owner was never established. He was probably never going to be a Bitwig customer, even before this unfortunate occurrence.

debra1rlo · Post by **debra1rlo** » Tue Mar 05, 2013 7:50 am

there's a lady who's sure
that this new host is gold
and she's buying a stairway
to bitwig

though the threads have been told
nowhere is this software sold
with a word she can get
what she came for

ooooh, and she's buying the stairway to bitwig...

and if there's a bustle in your hard drive
that don't belong there
it's a just a spring clean
for the DAW queen

yes there are two OS's you can choose from
but in the long run
there's still time to change the
host you're on

and it makes them wonder
on the thread...
it makes them wonder...

Open letter of advice to Bitwig