Cant switch "primary monitor" in dual display 9200

[neptunefix]

I have an ATI Radeon 9200SE. I have updated the drivers to current DirectX 8 drivers. I have a 21" CRT, 19" Dell Trinitron, and several old 14" monitors.

I would like to use my Dell monitor as the primary monitor and the older 21" monitor as the 2nd display.

I can set this up in display properties just fine, but after I reboot, the primary monitor goes back to 800x600 resolution. I switched the monitors so that the Dell is on the DVI output and I can get the settings to stick, but the VGA out (older 21") is the primary display. I can swap the monitors around so that my Dell shows up to the left, but all kinds of other things show up on the monitor to the right (primary VGA). Sometimes, the start menu will stay on the primary monitor when I dont want it to.

The box where you can uncheck "primary display" is grayed out so that I cant click on it.

I have tried a program called UltraMon and it can make my settings stick, but it is only a trial program and I also dont want to have extra programs loading up if I dont have to have them.

Any ideas?