Could you review my lyrics

[Hink]

I am not a native speaker, either. But here are a couple of linguistic things I would change because they sound odd to me:

on our mindS

stop to think is the opposite of stop thinking, no idea which one you mean
.

unless it.s got a comma or in the case of lyrics a pause between stop and thinking...he came to a stop, thinking he was lost he turned around

[robogone]

The first impression I got was that you (the lyricist) are stalking somebody.

wheres the problem with that?
sting made millions from stalking in song form.

But with him it was mostly prostitutes and BBC news presenters.

[steffeeH]

Any more thoughts?

[osiris]

I think taking photos of you....
this is a very stalky song....