First time I've worried small children in a long time.
Poor things.
I couldn't help myself though.
I was overcome.
All I heard was their iPhone bleating out 'baby baby yeah', like chuck berry never happened, and I had to ask them, 'er, excuse me, do you mind me asking who you are listening to?'. This seemed to scare the living shit out of them, and the more I tried to inform them 'I am not one of those peedy priests', it just seemed to agitate them more.
Anyway, after the little things answered me - 'F. Fu.. Fuhh... Fuhh fuh fuh fuhhh Farell williams'. I said ' Oh I know him - one half of the Neptunes. Responsible for over 40 percent of the hit records on mainstream tv/radio over the last 10 years'.
Their fear seemed to grow deeper. I was in more trouble now than when I started. Yes, it is not a good idea stopping young children on the way to school. I know now why I never did it before.
'Never heard of him', they said.
Oh dear.
They are listening to THE pharell williams and they have no clue this guy is one half of the Neptunes?
I just say: 'The guy with the hat?'.
They go 'Uh uh!'.
I say: 'You can go now'.
Should have probably said something else.
Poor little chickens were left shaking by the time I had finished with them.
I suppose I should be brought up on some kind of charge. Not sure what it should be. I'm sure the authorities will decide.
As for those poor children. They will probably just go to school and say 'we met some really weird guy by the side of the road. Has anyone heard of the Neptunes?'.
And by lunchtime, I will still be a legend, in my own mind.
Don't try this at home. And certainly not by the side of the road. And definitely not with small children.
I may be gone for some time....
