How Did I Get Here?

[Kevin Deas]

I have always owned a computer of one type or another, but it wasn't until the late 90's that I finally got a PC.( Atari and Commodore before that) I was a gamer but was unhappy with the constantly changing configurations needed to play the games. One day while looking for games that would run on my PC, a salesman gave me some advice that changed my relationship with computers. He said.." I use my computer for computer tasks and my console to play games". I switched to consoles, but now had a computer gathering dust. By chance I discovered the eJay line and then Acid. I love music but could only play a few chords on guitar. Those apps gave me the chance to make music! I soon found I was pretty good at assembling tracks with Acid loops. I seemed to be able to make my compositions more than the sum of their parts. I soon was recording vocals over my loops and posting the result on AcidPlanet. I thought of myself as an electronic artist, but something wasn't right. Everybody had the same loops, and no matter how I chopped them up, they weren't mine. Next came VSTi and the piano roll. I knew nothing about music theory and music production. CM magazine became my text book and the forum my music class. Because I really wasn't a musician soon my music became simplistic. Still I had a lot to say and my lyrics carried me. A handful of listeners followed me, but my life was a train wreck and I wrote about what I felt. I eventually turned off my few fans. I still enjoyed the gear and the software and playing around with it. So I have some nice kit and now and then I can compose a tune or two. Now I am disabled (Stage 4, inoperable, incurable cancer) living on SSI while the clock ticks. My therapist constantly pushes me to keep doing my music to relieve the depression. So here I am. I used to look forward to KVR, before it became the vicious snake pit it is now. At 62 years old and facing my mortality all of this seems petty and trifling. I guess what I'm saying is be positive enjoy your talents and music. In the end it may be all you have.

[Kevin Deas]

shameless bump
http://www.acidplanet.com/artist.asp?songs=52808&T=6125

[deastman]

I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. There really are no words to express it. Setting aside the topic of your health, I do think that music can have a very positive impact on your outlook. I would actually suggest setting aside all the plugins. Record some basic backing tracks and play guitar or keyboard over it. Maybe throw on some delay and reverb. And just allow yourself to get lost in the beauty of the sound.

[V0RT3X]

Sorry to hear about your situation as well.

If I was in your shoes, I would seek out as many things that took my mind off my illness and made my soul happy. So if music does that, then take in as much as you can!

Here are a few things I found that might be of interest.
http://www.sott.net/article/228583-Scie ... kes-notice

http://news.nationalpost.com/2014/06/09 ... -in-years/

So don't give up on life yet!

[Kevin Deas]

Thank You deastman and VORT3X for reading my post and for offering ideas to help make things a little better. You guys proved to me that KVR is more than just snarky snipers waiting to rain on someone's parade. Thanks again and Peace.

[manducator]

Your words are touching. A guy 'facing his mortality' and tells us to 'be positive enjoy your talents and music' gives us an important message.

Thank you for writing this post, and hang on!!

[OzoneJunkie]

Thanks for sharing your situation, Kevin. And also, thanks for sharing your love of music here. That's why we're here at this site (most of us). I can honestly say that it's also why I consider myself 'here' in the metaphysical sense - music. Without it, I wouldn't be me.

I'm currently reading "The Last Lecture" (author with incurable pancreatic cancer).

I don't really know what more to say. I used to skydive - I have over 1800 skydives and 1 BASE jump (bridge). There's something about that feeling, when getting down to the ground safely, and driving home for the day, that is hard to describe. Suffice it to say that I've tried to maintain a certain perspective in life that relates to that experience - appreciating life every day.

I hope that your days are filled with as much good health, happiness and joy as one can have. Hopefully that's a lot.

Peace and love to you.

- John

[Numanoid]

I used to look forward to KVR, before it became the vicious snake pit it is now.

I'm sorry for your situation, but do you find the forum that hostile?

[Kevin Deas]

I used to look forward to KVR, before it became the vicious snake pit it is now.

I'm sorry for your situation, but do you find the forum that hostile?

Yes I do. I could name names but what's the point? My lack of posts is an indicator. Most times the dominant members are snide, dismissive, or just rude.

[Hink]

my very best wishes go out to you Kevin, that's rough...there are some cancer survivors here and maybe than can help with some emotional support. Please take care of yourself and you have my respect and admiration.

Unfortunately on the internet people cannot see each other, people have no way of knowing what else is going on with people...in fact some state flat out they dont care, being sensitive is a bad thing, being considerate toward others is a bad thing, in fact if you simply disagree with some people all tact and self respect goes right out the door. Maybe some of those people will read this and get the fact that 'considerate' comes from the word 'consider' which if one is to be considerate they need to consider the possibility of things they cannot see. For some that seems like too much work, but I assure you there are more good people here than people like that.

Thanx for sharing your story and again my very best wishes to you

[Tricky-Loops]

I used to look forward to KVR, before it became the vicious snake pit it is now.

I'm sorry for your situation, but do you find the forum that hostile?

Yes I do. I could name names but what's the point? My lack of posts is an indicator. Most times the dominant members are snide, dismissive, or just rude.

I don't have the impression that most of the KVR members were rude. Only a few of them! There are some people who like to argument about everything and make this as kind of a sport...but most of them I can ignore!

Every now and then I try to give some positive tips to stop these "you-are-wrong-I'm-right!" battles. If only a few people read them and learn something from it, then I've reached my goal. And then I try to inject always a bit of fun because laughing is the best medicine.

I wish you the best!

[highkoo]

Thanks for giving us your perspective on that from your current situation.
It sounds like you have stayed true to your music for a long time.
In that sense, youve traveled very well. Dont let the destination change how you look back at it.

If making the music still makes you happy, dont let anything keep you from it. (The snakes are teddy bears inside.)
If it doesnt do it for you anymore, focus on what does.
Staying true to yourself cant be over valued.

[RunBeerRun]

KVR isn't vicious, it's just that it's so dull that it outweighs the rest. Every unique software is forgotten, any brainless effort is 5 pages long, so naturally anyone left is either Marco blasters or just bored like me lol.

[trimph1]

you are going through some tough times with some very good people here...

I've had my share of issues lately and always gone back to my music...it does work:)

[Numanoid]

In that sense, youve traveled very well. Dont let the destination change how you look back at it

Well said

Makes me think of Desiderada: http://sageplace.com/desiderada.htm