How do i become a real musician?

[Redmerkurii]

To be a real musician yer gotta get a gig, preferably in a pub cos they sell beer and stuff, you have to take at least one mate or family member or current sexual partner who you are on the verge of splitting up with because of "issues" or whatever. Anyway get the 'gig' and it should have an 'audience' of at least three other members besides you and your entourage. Now these audience members can include the dude or bird who pulls pints and some old legally blind and slightly deaf dude with his guide dog. So that's it you've got yer audience sorted so now all yer have to do is play yer 'set", get halfways pissed and get curry, chips and rice or a kebab or summat on the way home. Awesome, now your a 'real" musician.

edit: forgot to say that if by some miracle you can pull off this stunt for a second time well then you become a career musician of local renown and if by chance that second event happens to be at an Irish themed pub well then you become a career musician of international renown.

Being a musician piece of piss mate.

[vurt]

short answer ~ make music

long answer ~ make some music dickhead.

[Redmerkurii]

Indeed, what vurt said make music, muzak or even armpit fart tunes and someone somewhere will appreciate your effort. Keep spreading the love kids

[ghettosynth]

To be a real musician yer gotta get a gig

Exactly so, just like these guys...



They're all great, really, but I think the bass player is inspired, or stoned, or something.

Here, you can really get a feel for his "funk" in this one.

[Kevin Deas]

To be a real musician yer gotta get a gig

Exactly so, just like these guys...



They're all great, really, but I think the bass player is inspired, or stoned, or something.

Here, you can really get a feel for his "funk" in this one.

Judging by the Harvest motif ,maybe they're going Trick or Treating as "rock stars"! BTW if you want to be a "real" musician memorize the lyrics at the very least.

[V0RT3X]

gotta love the negative responses so far.

I'm guessing quite a few of the people who have replied negatively have not read the entire thread and think I'm actually serious. lol

[V0RT3X]

short answer ~ make music

long answer ~ make some music dickhead.

dickhead?

[RunBeerRun]

gotta love the negative responses so far.
I'm guessing quite a few of the people who have replied negatively have not read the entire thread and think I'm actually serious. lol

Lol indeed! Look at the source-are these the ones to give advice or to run from? wtf newb Jared from Subway

[ghettosynth]

Stacy is so on point in this...talk about talent! I don't know about you guys, but I've already ordered my tights, I don't think that you can be a real musician without them, knowwhatimsaying?

[V0RT3X]

The whole question is a mixed bag in terms of the replies that are expected.

There are those who take offense for some kind of reason and lash back with some kind of sarcastic reply.

Then there are those who really want to give me genuine advice on what they think a real musician is and try to be genuinely helpful.

And then of course there are the people who believe they are the next big thing and spew delusional vomit in the attempt to sound like some kind of expert all while looking down their nose at me.

It's like a social experiment even thought that was not really my intention when i wrote it, in fact when i made it i was just bored and feeling the lack of inspiration to make music.


All in all it's a interesting topic to read through

[ghettosynth]

The whole question is a mixed bag in terms of the replies that are expected.

You totally picked up that condenser, amiright?



Just so you know, the blue one is for boys, and the red one is for girls.


Just like these:

[vurt]

short answer ~ make music

long answer ~ make some music dickhead.

dickhead?

needed to add something to make it the long answer.
i love you really and would like to have your babies.

[ghettosynth]

(PS: real musicians get a vasectomy)

[Sendy]

The whole question is a mixed bag in terms of the replies that are expected.

There are those who take offense for some kind of reason and lash back with some kind of sarcastic reply.

Then there are those who really want to give me genuine advice on what they think a real musician is and try to be genuinely helpful.

And then of course there are the people who believe they are the next big thing and spew delusional vomit in the attempt to sound like some kind of expert all while looking down their nose at me.

It's like a social experiment even thought that was not really my intention when i wrote it, in fact when i made it i was just bored and feeling the lack of inspiration to make music.


All in all it's a interesting topic to read through

I got the impression most people were just going along with the joke actually.

[jancivil]

The thread bifurcated, there are people that made it an opportunity for jokes and people that wanted to talk about what musicianship means, in their downtime moments.

So 'VORT3X' is referring to the 'real musician' trope at KVR and taking the piss. I don't know who in this thread thinks they're the next big thing. Two people, Hink and I took the topic like it's something to talk about and we are both older and rather don't give a shit about that. I prattled on about a quality of self-critique. I think you, 'VORT3X' are not of enough moment to anyone to be looking at you any particular way, down their nose or sideways.