Arrangement-wise you did a swell job I must say here. The bigger problem with 22 tracks is that separate elements are bound to clash with one another and screw up the dynamics a bit. Especially in the latter half (of my short version that is) I notice the low-end strugling to stay clean but there is quite a lot of low push building.
Another thing I am noticing is the panning, almost everything sounds as if it is coming through the middle, spread em more, and try cutting EQ's to free up room for the other elements....
As for that theremin sound: If that is a Juno then please tell me what you did; I never heard such a beautiful wail coming out of mine

