KVR Audio

dlandis · Post by **dlandis** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 3:55 am

Last one (and it's kind of dark):

Dying in a knife fight after the gig is a blues way to die.

Being shot on stage by a jealous girlfriend or wife is a blues way to die.

Getting in a car accident while driving your Lincoln on the interstate while on the way to a gig is a blues way to die.

Dying on the operating table while undergoing an operation to correct a deviated septum is NOT a blues way to die.

Hink · Post by **Hink** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 5:41 am

dlandis wrote:

There is, however, no town in the world that has the word "Beach" anywhere in its name that is a blues kind of town.

well that might not be exactly true

dlandis · Post by **dlandis** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 3:59 pm

Hink wrote:
dlandis wrote:

There is, however, no town in the world that has the word "Beach" anywhere in its name that is a blues kind of town.
well that might not be exactly true

Good one!

JorgV · Post by **JorgV** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 4:35 pm

Did you hear that Japanese drummer? No Ti Ming? He's playing a lot with that french bassplayer... Toulouse De Beat

Tricky-Loops · Post by **Tricky-Loops** » Sun Mar 08, 2015 4:47 pm

What's the difference between a frog and a Bavarian trumpet player?

A: For listening to the frog, you don't need ear protection!

PatchAdamz · Post by **PatchAdamz** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 3:51 am

What's the least-used sentence in the English language?

"Isn't that the banjo player's Porsche?"

PatchAdamz · Post by **PatchAdamz** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 3:52 am

What do you say to a banjo player in a three-piece suit?

"Will the defendant please rise?"

PatchAdamz · Post by **PatchAdamz** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 3:53 am

Female five string banjoist shouting at her boyfriend in a crowded shopping mall:

"Don't forget, sweetheart, I need a new G string."

JJBiener · Post by **JJBiener** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 4:04 am

Tricky-Loops wrote:What's the difference between a blowjob and a gig of a Bavarian brass band?

A: You cannot hear the blowjob 5 miles away!

From my experience, this is not the only difference.

cryophonik · Post by **cryophonik** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 4:54 am

JJBiener wrote:
Tricky-Loops wrote:What's the difference between a blowjob and a gig of a Bavarian brass band?

A: You cannot hear the blowjob 5 miles away!
From my experience, this is not the only difference.

The brass bands don't stop blowing after they empty their spit valves?

trimph1 · Post by **trimph1** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 12:52 pm

About Bach....

He fathered 20 children in all. No wonder he was Baroque

Hink · Post by **Hink** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 6:11 pm

an orchestra conductor was arrested, found guilty of murder and was sent to the electric chair. They strap him in, turned up the power, flipped the switch and though the chair was functioning properly he didn't phase him. The upped the power, flipped the switch again and still nothing so once again they upped the power and tried it again still with no luck...turns out he was just a bad conductor

MaxSynths · Post by **MaxSynths** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 6:26 pm

What’s the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga ?
One of them has balls. And it ain't Bieber.

What is the difference between real anal and virtual anal...
Just kidding...

el-bo (formerly ebow) · Mon Mar 09, 2015 6:45 pm

dlandis wrote:The skunk MAY have been on his way to a gig.

MAY ??!! when i used to play in bands, skunk was at pretty much every gig

Winstontaneous · Post by **Winstontaneous** » Mon Mar 09, 2015 8:37 pm

cryophonik wrote:
Andywanders wrote:How many keyboard players does it take to change a lightbulb?

Four... One to change the bulb, and three to decide how Jordan Rudess would have done it.

Jordan Rudess wouldn't try to change the lightbulb. He'd just go overboard describing how awesome it is, then collect his paycheck and go home.

I'm sure he has a slightly different technique per bulb depending on the manufacturer, because he has a f^ckin' endorsement deal with each and every one.

Your Favorite Musician Joke ?