[Pop] Janvier

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Hello,

Just two days before vacation time, I have finished a draft version of the first tune I am posting here.

You can download it from http://membres.lycos.fr/larochepfr/, selecting janvier.mp3 (sorry, but direct link does not seem to work).

I know I have to re-do the vocals, they are not great at all. Maybe it's simply because I am the singer :D

Any advice/comment will be appreciated. Please tell me what you like/dislike.

Thanks in advance from Geneva.
Pierre aka Piper.
The piper at the gate of daw

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un compatriote ! nice ! :-o 8)

i'll download your track as soon as possible.

cheers

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Sorry Wopelka,

I work in Geneva, but I am unfortunately French... :wink:

Mais cela n'a pas d'importance, ou bien ? :D

Pierre aka Piper
The piper at the gate of daw

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piperdaw wrote:Mais cela n'a pas d'importance
aucune :)
piperdaw wrote:ou bien ? :D
je vois que tu t'es bien acclimaté :D

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Wopelka wrote: je vois que tu t'es bien acclimaté :D
Quand on est un travailleur émigré, l'intégration, c'est quelque chose d'important :wink:
The piper at the gate of daw

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Digging this quite a lot. The hihat sounds a bit too loud in the mix, especially the open hats.. Try toning that down. The piano solo later on is a bit too reverb heavy and stiff, maybe you could do another take on it with more fluidity? Possibly a less rounded piano sound would work better too - try taking some of the low end off with EQ. Too much room ambience/reverb on the drums too, take some off the hats and maybe some off the snare, and perhaps program a bit of velocity variation to reduce 'machine gunning'.

The singing sounds cool even if it is vaguely out of key... But that just adds to the charm to a large extent.. Although there are particuarly jarring notes at 1:43 ,1:57 and 2:34, which could possibly use attention :D

You could try putting it through a vocoder if you wanted to sound like Air circa 'Moon Safari' however :D

No idea what you're singing about either. My ability to discern spoken French is pretty slim, so you could be singing about the price of fish at Nettos for all I know. :D
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.

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Many thanks for your feedback Griels.

I will try your suggestions. I will especially try to sing more in tune. It was the first time I was recording myself, so I might do a better job next time!

Concerning the lyrics, as you have probably guessed, they have nothing to do with fish or whatever animal :D It's about someone's first love...

Thanks again,
Pierre aka Piper
The piper at the gate of daw

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Congrat for this first track... :D

To my opinion you are out of tune because you don't know which note to sing.
You often seem to hesitate between 2 notes or you seem to begin singing a word without knowing which note it should be...

I think you should sing many times the melody (with your piano) untill you have it perfectly in your head.
You can also try to low down the whole song. One tone or two because your melody go high and is very hard to sing.

The piano part sounds good but it is isolated in the middle of the song...
Maybe you can try to put a little piano 'some note from time to time) before this part, and to keep on with this piano after the current solo part.

Don't forget to post the new version, if you do one... :wink:

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very cool indeed.

the music is right up my alley. laid back, warm, nice arrangement. a bit too much reverb on the drums, tho.

about your singing. you didn't chose the easiest way. the difficulty here is you have to sustain very long notes. it would have probably been easier if the song was set at a faster tempo. as Ixox said, training, training, training. :D

you have a nice voice. you could maybe EQ the vox part to roll off the lowest frequencies.

very cool, thanks for sharing. and i look forward to hearing other stuff from you.

cheers

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A very pleasant listening tune. Not much I can add that has allready been said; of which I think what Ixox said about bringing the piano throughout the tune more I wholeheartedly agree with, it is too isolated.

I'd be interested to hear where this tune is going with more practiced vocals and all.

Welcome to KvR btw :)

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First loves... Janvier... cool. ;)

Pretty decent for a first track! Some of the musical elements are getting lost in the mix. This I know because when I started playing it, the volume on my speakers was quite low, but I could still hear the voice and some drums. Curious, I turned it up just a bit, but by this point in time there was enough other 'instrumentation' going on that even the drums were getting lost back there and only voice was obvious.

By the time I turned up to regular volume, I was left with the impression that balancing levels out will be an important consideration.

Welcome to K-v-R, though, and good work with your first outing!

Greg

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Thank you all for your suggestions and nice words.

I will surely make a second version and post it, but as I will be away from home the next 3 weeks, it will be in september at the soonest.

I wish you all a happy vacation time.
Musically yours,
Pierre aka Piper
The piper at the gate of daw

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