KVR Audio

recursive one · Post by **recursive one** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:42 pm

recursive one wrote: Sorry to say that, but it isn't especially good sign.

And neither is this

boriskarloff wrote: We have four animals ... in our 2 rooms flat.

hivkorn · Post by **hivkorn** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:47 pm

when i meet my wife 12 year ago , it was the same , she tells me a lot of time i am music too often (she was studient ) and i had a very hard job ATM . but i have find a compromise : " okay , i will do something with you today , but tommorow i will make music"
Now i can make music when i want , just asking :" do you want to do something ? can I go upstair make music ? "
If there is something to do , okay i will do music tommorow.
If your girlfriend can't understand it , it will always be a conflictual situation.
I am fighting animal cruelty too but it s a way of life , i don't eat meat anymore ...
Now i have a house and i am again with this studient girl i meet 12 year ago , she growed up and she have now a connection with art (photography) , i don't know photography but i respect and i tell her what i am thinking when she ask me my advice.
Talk with your girlfriend , i can understand you're afraid to see her go away , but what kind of life do you want ?

harryupbabble · Post by **harryupbabble** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:48 pm

chk071 wrote:I'm fighting against animal cruelty too. They can be so cruel sometimes.

Hahaha. That can be so true. Our current cat is so little but can be so cruel and unpredictable (okay feral might be a better word). We would all be toast if he is the size of an average lion.

whyterabbyt · Post by **whyterabbyt** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:49 pm

I knew someone like that, and at the end of the day it wasn't actually about the computer, or the time being spent on it, or what it was being used for; it was entirely a control issue.

So my advice is for you, not her... make the attempt at reasonable discussion and explanation as to how important it is to you. and make the offer to compromise ('give me one day a week I can work uninterrupted and we can do something on other say' or somesuch).

if after that, you're still under pressure to give up your hobbies for what's basically a 'just because' reason, then start thinking a bit more about how good a relationship it is and if there are other issues like that, because that kind of one-sidedness/selfishness often doesnt go away with time, it often gets worse.

Zexila · Post by **Zexila** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 6:49 pm

You obviously made mistake with even dating with her in first place, if music is big part of who you are, what she loves in you than, your sense of humor, that's not enough for relationship...

stardustmedia · Post by **stardustmedia** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:00 pm

Totolitoto wrote:Tell her it's part of what you are
If she loves you she'll get it, if she doesn't, ditch her!

Voilà

Ditch her and don't bother about it too much. There will be another girl you will even fall more in love, because she loves you as you are (including the computer and the music).

Been there as well... tried to make it work for too long. It's just not worth it. Now I have a wife and a family. And she loves to come by my studio and listen to the new stuff I do (even if some it is nothing at all for her taste). She just understands that I HAVE TO do music.

boriskarloff · Post by **boriskarloff** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:04 pm

whyterabbyt wrote:So my advice is for you, not her... make the attempt at reasonable discussion and explanation as to how important it is to you. and make the offer to compromise ('give me one day a week I can work uninterrupted and we can do something on other say' or somesuch).

Thanks. I hope I will be able to talk to her about this. But I'm afraid this compromise will never happen. In week days I have to learning with stepdaughter after school (she had developmental dysphasia, so we must learn for about two hours after school every day). After that my girlfriend comes yelling that I didn't cleaned well and that I have to cook something because she didn't had any warm meal that day...

Zexila · Post by **Zexila** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:07 pm

stardustmedia wrote: And she loves to come by my studio and listen to the new stuff I do (even if some it is nothing at all for her taste). She just understands that I HAVE TO do music.

Exactly, back in my psytrance making days I was with girl that was totally into cheesy folk music and she embraced horrible noise I was making at the time as part of who I am, we were another planets really, but accepted each other.

boriskarloff · Post by **boriskarloff** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:09 pm

stardustmedia wrote:And she loves to come by my studio and listen to the new stuff I do (even if some it is nothing at all for her taste). She just understands that I HAVE TO do music.

You're happy, mate.

Hink · Post by **Hink** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:09 pm

my late wife didn't care for my time on computers (or my time here), she liked my songs but discouraged me constantly from being in a band so I haven't been in decades. She was supportive of my studio but she didn't drive and really relied on me for many things so that hurt my production as did not having my own room for my studio. I played a lot but the truth is often it would be like 2 1/2 good weeks of playing and then perhaps as much time if not more with just a few minutes here and there which left me with probably 100 unfinished projects (maybe more).

The 2nd of Jan will be three months since the heart attack that took her from me, I'm playing a lot but still not finishing much (reckon that'll change), I have the new house, the room for my studio and no worries of bothering anyone. With all that said, I certainly do not have any regrets. No offense intended to anyone here but please be cautious with the advice you get here (myself included), the truth is I could have burned myself out long ago but it was indeed my music and a thirst for playing that got me through the biggest nightmare of my life. Sooner or later I'm going to write about all this and put it all in perspective, for me it's all about passion and at 57 I thought I knew all there was to know about passion. I was wrong, in less than three months I have learned a lot about passion.

I also have an amazing 21 year old daughter, cant imagine how I would have survived this without her nor could I imagine spending all those years without either of them. It takes balance imo and in my case that balance took a couple decades to start going the other way. I dont know the OP's situation but for me I can truly empathize, I have many years now under my belt and no I really would not change a thing about the choices I made. Just my 2 cents

boriskarloff · Post by **boriskarloff** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:31 pm

Very strong story, Hink.

harryupbabble · Post by **harryupbabble** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:35 pm

What if you showed her this thread? She might realize your passion for music-making is stronger (is it?) and you might not be "convertible". But she might move on. It seems two ways. Some say ditch her but maybe from her viewpoint... she could ditch you (if you pay more attention to music-making than to her). Can't you just pick one? Focusing on one passion is hard enough let alone two passions? These lyrics from two songs seems to be about your situation but I'm not sure if it is saying "ditch her":

"And if you can't be with the one you love honey
Love the one you're with, Love the one you're with."

"Torn between two lovers, feelin' like a fool."

Autobot · Post by **Autobot** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:52 pm

jethrobull wrote:Although she is probably a lovely person and you love her, she is being very selfish. As others have said, if she loves you then she should accept your hobbies and interests. Weather your making money or she doesn't like your music is completely irrelevant.

+1

thecontrolcentre · Post by **thecontrolcentre** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:53 pm

boriskarloff wrote:
DJ Warmonger wrote:Still, you'd better assist your GF in bedroom rather than sit in front of PC
Come on, we're five years together and sex is on the last place she is thinking of...

I'd be outta there. Is the 9 year old your daughter? I split with my wife of six years, and started again when I was in my 20s. We have 2 kids, who were very young at the time. It was tough, but I don't regret leaving. We were fighting all the time. She hated me doing anything musical. You have my sympathy.

Aleatoriac · Post by **Aleatoriac** » Mon Dec 26, 2016 7:58 pm

boriskarloff wrote:I'm desperate I love my girlfriend but some of their habits makes me angry. Every time I want to sit in front of my PC to make some music my girlfriend comes to our bedroom and start to complain about my "nonsense sitting in front of PC" She loves to helping animals and fights against animal cruelty and she don't understand that computers are part of my life (my half job is graphic designer). So everything computer related is stupid for her. I don't think my music sucks but she told me that this is nonsense cause it never brings me any money (It's just a hobby).

https://m.soundcloud.com/euphonia1

I will be happy if you can tell me some advice or message for her...

Thanks

Mario

Why do you need a girlfriend again?

Seriously, I deliberately walked away from relationships. I tried a bunch of them around age 24-26. All of them were like this. They could not accept who I was, but demanded total acceptance from me.

There's enough of that in a job situation. My advice? f**k the entire thing.

You have evidence of *ONE* life. Live it the way YOU want. f**k anyone else who thinks they can tell you what you are, what's good for you, what you should do, what bits of you to keep, what bits need to go... f**k them ALL in their SQUALID, SELFISH little DNA.

My girlfriend hates my music making